AIBU to think that just as a male should not slap a woman's face ,a woman shouldn't slap a man ?

[peridito]

Son slapped in face by girlfriend . Night out ,son went outside club/bar to speak to friends ,girlfriend offended and came out and slapped him.

Appreciate there may be more to it than I know ,but is it ever right to slap someone round the face ?

Son seems ok with it ,but I'm not .

And still the minimisers come

Decomposing I have honestly never seen a woman slap a man in a pub club etc

I have seen physical fights and pushing etc but never a slap

Who's doing the fighting? Men and women?

Maybe I come from a rough part of London but honestly women slapping men, especially when alcohol is involved, is quite common.

Unacceptable many woman can throw as good and if not better punch than some men.
My best mate had his nose broken by his fiancé (ex).

But where has anyone said itisokay for a woman to hit a man?

Maybe you need to read the thread where ti poster said it's not as bad. It really is.

How many men are killed by their domestic partners every week

This argument is pointless. No one is saying it's as common. Or that men are abused as much as women, or the the amount of DV incidents are the same.

The fact that, on the whole, men are much more likely to commumit domestic violence, doesnt mean individual women can use that as an excuse to hit their male partner.

Protein not potential to injure, actual injury.

'It’s quite dangerous to say that it’s the level of injury that dictates'.

The law currently does differentiate.

If I hit my dh he says ow, if he hits me I'm dead.

This is not the same.

Generally women are smaller, weaker and less violent than men. Of course sometimes this is not true which is the reason crimes are evaluated on an individual basis. This new approach would apply at a population level though, where the level of injury is not the deciding factor, which would disadvantage women as a group, how could it not?

Unacceptable many woman can throw as good and if not better punch than some men.

Yes, this is why we don't have men and women fight one another in professional boxing. To protect the men.

I live in the north, women fighting each other, male bouncers and men isnt common. But I would say its massively unusual either.

Its definitely more men.

Men and women is pushing, drinks chucked, physical fighting.

The women don't slap if they are drunk and aggressive enough they hit, go for a fight.

I have genuinely never seen a woman slap a man eastenders style.

I have seen plenty of men fighting, including someone being glassed. Also a man trying to put a woman's head through a window.

I grew up in London and went out a lot all over the place.

I don't think it's because I'm sheltered that I've never seen a woman slap someone.

Of course I'm sure it happens.

Anyway. Moving on.

Helpful responses thank you .

I heard about it from a third party ,it's eating away at me . Agree better to speak to son .Don't believe it's happened before .

I'm worried that in talking to him I'll drive them closer together - any suggestions on how to tackle it ,what to say ?

If I hit my dh he says ow, if he hits me I'm dead.

This isnt quite true though. Force, where the hit lands all has the potential to impact this.

Generally being trus doesnt mean it's true in each case and, again, the impact of DV is not purely physical.

But there is an argument, mainly seen on mn that that it worse for men to hit women

I think the mainly seen on mn bit is bollocks

No one should be hitting or slapping anyone

Of course it’s wrong he needs to move on from his girlfriend

Someone lashing out because they are being abused and threatened themselves is a completely different scenario

I don’t think anyone will claim women can not be violent and abusive in relationships

“The fact that, on the whole, men are much more likely to commumit domestic violence, doesnt mean individual women can use that as an excuse to hit their male partner.”

I agree. But once we’ve got over the excitement of being able to say “women do it too!” “He should call the police” and so on we must be very careful not to forget those women who die every week at the hands of their domestic partners.

But where has anyone said it is okay for a woman to hit a man?

Right here:

If a woman very occasionally loses her temper and slaps a man, then its forgiveable. But the reverse wouldn't be.

Maybe you need to read the thread where ti poster said it's not as bad. It really is.

I have read the thread. I can't see anywhere where a poster has said that it's "okay" for a woman to hit a man. I was responding to this quote:

"A woman hitting a man, because she might not be able to hurt him as much isnt ok."

Nobody has said it's okay!

I agree. But once we’ve got over the excitement of being able to say “women do it too!” “He should call the police” and so on we must be very careful not to forget those women who die every week at the hands of their domestic partners.

Who has said that?

Who has said 'oh god yes, some women abuse their male partners so let's ignore the women being murdered'

You can accept women hitting men isnt any better than men hit women AND accept that women are more likely to be killed ny their partner. Both things can be true.

Protein the ststement was that level of injury (actual not potential) is apparently a poor way of gauging harm.

Is it really the same if my husband has a bruise to me being dead?

I think that using something other than level of injury sustained in these cases will disadvantage women.

I have a lot of sympathy for the point that not all dv is physical, that emotional abuse is v damaging, that women can be and are physically violent. These things are all true.

However I think throwing out the level of injury sustained, as a measure of harm, will be bad for women. On average. As we are far more at risk of physical harm and far more likely to be severely injured or killed, in the context of het relationships.

Currently if a woman does physically injure a man, or anyone, that is a crime same as if a man does it.

To equalise things between men and women by saying that there needs to be a move away, in general, from relating injury to harm, can only disadvantage women.

No?

I would be more appalled if my daughter was hit by a man than if my son was hit by a woman, although of course both are wrong, i'd be more worried for my daughter.

"If a woman very occasionally loses her temper and slaps a man, then its forgiveable. But the reverse wouldn't be."

That still isn't saying it's okay. If it was "okay" it wouldn't need forgiven, would it?

I don't agree with the above sentiment, btw, just in case anyone accuses me of it.

OP: is violence by women unacceptable?

All of MN: male violence is worse.

If you were writing a dictionary definition of 'to minimise', this would be a perfect example.

I think just stick to what she did was wrong and it is totally unacceptable there is a chance he will defend her you have to not play into that (which obviously you are not going to) he might feel embarrassed and we all have the ability to play a situation down when we are in love

He may need time to think it over too best to keep calm tell him this isn’t acceptable and that he is worth being treated with respect and love

This is one of those situations where people are quick to tell women what they think.

Exactly. It’s the glee with which they pipe up with “If women want equality this is what they get....”

And yet literally no one has said it’s ok for a woman to hit a man. It’s not hard to understand that the outcome of a man hitting a woman is worse but the intent itself is no worse.

I would be more appalled if my daughter was hit by a man than if my son was hit by a woman, although of course both are wrong, i'd be more worried for my daughter.

Would you be less worried if he had a hot iron thrown at him, like happened to my brother?

Still, he probably provoked her, didn't he?

The dancing bear I think I have seen one post out of however many hundred saying its worse if a man hits a woman.

If you focus on all the others rather than that one, you might feel more positive.