To think that you should never marry a gamer

[Somersetlady]

A glut of threads on here recently reference DH being useless/not contributing/ not looking after kids because they are in the xbox. Often they stay up late on the xbox.

One but of advice for those dating would seem to be to steer clear of gamers as your future OH!

Fibbke, I was big on WoW pre dd, I'm looking forward to getting back on it as soon as I'm able!

I have one main, its taken me 9 years to get her to 120 im terrible at it.

DH is a gamer but he's not a dickhead. It's also nothing but a bonus the two weeks of the year when he doesn't get near the TV because I'm watching Wimbledon and he can game away guilt free!

I don't mind my DH having a game now and again. He's on it every night, only for an hour or so and normally when I'm in the bath or busy doing something else. When I ask him to come off it he normally does. I don't mind him doing it though, as he doesn't go the pub or anything so I like him to have something he enjoys doing.

My OH works full-time, helps with the housework, has been an amazing emotional support when my MH has not been great,makes me cry with laughter and tell me he loves me every day...but he's a gamer so maybe I should leave him for an beer-guzzling football fan with the attention span of a goldfish and devoid of all emotion...oh wait that's the one I DID leave!!

I’m glad I didn’t marry a gamer as personally I think it’s mindless and childish so I actually couldn’t stand being married to one
But that’s just me obviously

It is mindless and childish
That's why its fun.

DH is a gamer and so am I. We both also go out, do the housework and go to work. Don't marry a lazy arse and think he'll change is my advice

It's not about gamers or cyclists or whichever group people on MN like to decide are selfish arseholes.

The issue is people marrying selfish arseholes and expecting them to change, and/or people who have no hobbies or interests of their own who act like martyrs when their other halves have a hobby (interestingly, where both halves of a couple have a hobby/interest there doesn't seem to be the same complaining).

If those without hobbies had a hobby or an interest and people didn't marry selfish arseholes expecting them to suddenly stop being selfish then that would solve the issue.

Dave Berry comes to mind ....

There is a fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness’

Oh and i have a good job, cook and clean for four children, have dogs horses and look after an old lady in my village. My mum and sister have mh issues and need me to be the strong one. I do enough adulting thanks.

I see a lot of your points but i guess a game of football/rugby whatever is at a set time and only takes a few hours. Cycling the same. You go pff have your cycle and the. You don't cycle again that day. I imagine it’s the fact gaming can be done 24/7 and only takes the effort of plonking yourself on a chair in front of a tv that makes it so frustrating!

True about it being a bad choice to be with a man child And i agree everyone needs down time. Just on MN the xbox seems to be an activity many parters engage in to shirk family responsibilities.

My DP is a gamer, so am I to some degree.
It doesn't interfere with our family life. DP will play a game when DS goes to bed. Sometimes I do, although I usually just mooch in front of the TV instead. Other times we will watch a movie together / read / talk. It's perfectly balanced. Neither of us are lazy and DP is a great, active and involved dad.

I think there is a difference between being with somebody who has a gaming addiction and somebody who enjoys playing games when it is time to relax.

Ridiculous post lumping all gamers together, OP. There are plenty of husbands and dads who game who don't let it interfere with family life. Mine's one of them. He plays a couple of times a week, if that, and only after I've gone to bed. Occasionally he'll play during the day at weekends - but only when our DC is at an activity/party and not in the house. I have absolutely no problem with him gaming, it's a hobby just like cycling or watching football.

In those situations OP, the game is a convenient excuse for an overgrown man child to be a selfish overgrown man child.

If it wasn't a game it would be something else like sitting on the golden throne taking a shit for 2 hours, or going down the pub.

Feckless men who think the women in their lives should cater to their every whim are feckless men children regardless of their chosen excuse.

OP do you have a favourite tv show? One that you watch every week when it's on? Or maybe you binge watch? Maybe like another poster you watch a sporting tournament every year? You might find it relaxing/fun to disengage for a bit. This also involves just plonking yourself down in front of the tv and can be done 24/7 if you so wished. There is always a football match on somewhere on tv after all.
If you dont like gaming then crack on with not doing it. Many people love it,many people have healthy relationships involving gaming. Many other have unhealthy relationships involving a partner who loves football etc.

@PaddyF0dder

With all due respect OP, f*k right off.

Most men (indeed most people) play video games to some degree. If you insist on being so silly minded, maybe just don’t marry anyone and just be alone.*

Ive been with DH 22 years. You are very sensitive on this subject. I do not know one single gamer (that has discussed it with me in public) either through work or my personal life.

As i mentioned in the OP there seems to be a glut of references to issues with OH and xbox or gaming also mentioned.

I am also enlightened by some of the info above I had no idea that you could be a member of a guild or not have enough time to game post children! I thought you just picked it up played a game for however long you had free then put it away again. Like picking up a book i suppose! You learn something new everyday.

@Ginnymweasley no not really a telly person. Can get engrossed in a good book though.
I prefer to be active tbh and like to be with the horses and the dogs to disengage from RL.

What do you classify as a gamer? Cause I currently play the new Harry Potter game most days, does this make me a gamer? My dh plays fifa or other games a few times a week is he a gamer?
My friend is part of some sort of gaming community that I dont understand that get together a couple of times a month to play. Is he a gamer?
What level of gaming makes a gamer?

If you read for a couple of hours a night is that any different from someone who plays COD or something for an hour before bed? I think you are choosing a subject that you have little knowledge of and deciding that it is bad cause eit doesnt fit in with your views of what a hobby should be. My dh cycles but also plays games you can be active and game.

@Ginnymweasley no idea. I only read threads on here referring to gamers and a regular issue that comes up is partner referenced as gaming or on xbox too often. I didn't actually realise it was so popular until this thread with the masses. I suppose i wrongly assumed it was a kind of teenage thing that people had not yet grown out of!

The criticism of people who play games seems to fall so freely from the mouths of those who spend their evenings drinking and watching Love Island.

People like different things, it doesn't make them bad because they're not like you. I thought we left this sort of idiotic thinking behind in high school?

You could say this about so many things though.

@Ginnymweasley it would be a nice idea but it’s more like 20 minutes before I go to sleep by the time i go to bed!
I have yet to read a thread on MN that says anyone reading had caused issues in their relationship and I've been knocking around for about 6 years here now!