To think that you should never marry a gamer

[Somersetlady]

A glut of threads on here recently reference DH being useless/not contributing/ not looking after kids because they are in the xbox. Often they stay up late on the xbox.

One but of advice for those dating would seem to be to steer clear of gamers as your future OH!

*@JacquesHammer congratulations for having a husband who does’t leave the house.

I’m not sure how you are measuring happiness*

that's what you took from her message. 🙄🤔

Yes @ljwlad

Who do you think wasn’t happier? Me with the present husband, who would stop his hobby if the baby cried, would play whilst I was getting a decent stretch of sleep, would check if he was ok to play.

Thats what i took.

My husband has a hobby that takes him out of the house for a few hours but i was still able to get some rest and leave the baby to him once i started expressing and we discussed what suited both of us rather than him asking my permission to leave the house!

I took that it shows its not an all consuming hobby like some are as any sensible person would not that he never leaves the house. He could still do his hobby and help out with parenting.and that someone else's husband had an all consiming hobby. Gaming as many other people have said isn't the problem but the person, but you seem determined to demonise it, so crack on!

that's what you took from her message

Of course she did. I can't decide whether it is a tragic lack of comprehension or simply trying to suit her own narrative.

Just in case it helps though, my ex-husband did leave the house. He went to the gym in his work building, he went to nights out (as did I), we went to the movies, we went out as a family at weekends. He went away with work. He sometimes went to the football if he fancied a match.

Just to break it down for the hard of thinking. He was able to partake of a hobby he loved, without checking out of family life.

Can't believe this is still going on

Pointless talking to the OP as she's got a ridiculous bee in her bonnet about it. OP, if your dh doesn't game then that suits you very well. Congratulations. Now leave everyone else alone.

Everytime this thread looks like it's about to die OP reappears to stir it up again... 🤔

@TrendyNorthLondonTeen isn't the whole point of an internet forum to engage with those replying to you? Or have i missed something?

Engaging or provoking?

I enjoy gaming. I play Tindr often and I've found that it's creative, engaging, and often can be quite physical. It can be loud at times though, even with a headset on.

What do you think of people who watch tv, OP?

Eastenders, Corrie, Hollyoaks, etc. This is much more common and a daily occurrence.

My ex husband would game all the time. It was his life outside of work. He would sulk if we had to go out on a weekend. He would spend 12 hours straight on it. There were many reasons I left but I was relieved we didn't have children. Trying to get his attention for me was bad enough. But any kids we would have had.. I dread to think.

@tearinmybeer i had to look that up as i assumed it wasn’t the dating ap!

@BjornAgain81 you mean personally? Don’t really do telly will watch films when flying. Ive yet to see a thread on here saying my OH watches to much telly/ is addicted to telly therefore doesn't pull his weight and it causes issues in our marriage which is how this thread started. I am normally an occasional mumsnet user but due to a hospital stay have been wasting a lot of time on it and keep seeing thread after thread on how gaming is an issue for many.
I’ve learnt many things about it from PP posters and having to google things!

and keep seeing thread after thread on how gaming is an issue for many

Feel free to link some. Other than the one regarding a child.

@jacqueshammer

A very quick search (cant see the difference between search and advances search on my phone?) pulls up these. A lot of them when you click through get the sorry the link is not here anymore i assume as in chat or 30 days only?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3625356-To-consider-smashing-his-Xbox

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3540675-gaming

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3486194-gaming-on-my-birthday

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3527191-Constantly-playing-games-on-phone

I actually stopped when i read this one. It makes me feel quite sick
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3547977-video-game-about-raping-women

And yes they are all recent there are a vast number if you go back over many months. This was from one title search on gaming.

So what. 4 since January this year? You’re right, it’s endemic

Funny, I’ve just done the same search on football, going to the pub and cycling. Way more entries for each.

Interesting. It’s almost like, and forgive me, you’re aiming to skew stats to support your incorrect narrative.

Just aim not to marry a dick. It’s very simple. Much like people who see “gaming” and “dick” as synonymous.

Did you click this link @JacquesHammer?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3547977-video-game-about-raping-women

Please tell me this is not a real think and a sick trolling joke?

Yes it's real and it's appalling but there are probably very few creative mediums that some creep hasn't used to celebrate violence against women. Often it's a picture, movie, drawing or writing - here, it's a man who made a game (that isn't commercially available). It's not a reasonable stick to beat the industry with.

Please tell me this is not a real think and a sick trolling joke?

Yes it’s real. From an unregulated platform.

It absolutely isn’t a standard to judge those who game by. Surely you can dissemble.

Should nobody ever marry anyone who watches films because snuff videos exist?

Thank god nobody has ever celebrated domestic violence on an internet forum or we would be able to post on Mumsnet in good conscience.

There have been games like this for as long as there have been video games; Custer's Revenge in particular springs to mind. I think @Gooigi sums it up quite well!

Should have been 'violence against women', not 'domestic violence' in that last post: different timezone and haven't had my morning coffee yet!

I'd rather be married to a gamer than a guy into sports. I can cope with him sat playing games in the evening, as long as he doesn't try and make me watch sport