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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be over the moon my DP has finally took his balls out of Mummy's handbag and told her where to go

411 replies

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 11/07/2019 09:18

from Hell, like she's actually a Demon http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amibeing_unreasonable/3610296-mil-from-hell-like-she-s-actually-a-demon

Link to previous thread above

So as a few of you may remember reading my previous posts my MiL is bat shit crazy. The lest few weeks my DP has been more supportive but was still getting a lift to work everyday from her (they work in same place and she says there's no point them both driving).

It was DS 1st birthday 2 weeks ago and we decided to have a few friends and family around for cake and a few party games, decided against a big party as he's 1 and will never remember it and we planned a few days out over his birthday week.

Party started at 2pm, DS was sat on floor with a few other children playing pass the parcel (with help from my brother who is 14) when PIL arrived at 3.15, MIL swanned in like a Disney Villain and picked up DS mid game from my brothers knee without so much of a word to anyone. I asked her if she could give DS back to my brother so he could finish game as DS was trying to get down. She loudly announced that she wanted to give him his presents. DP stepped in and said "well it won't hurt to wait 5 minutes, let's let him finish playing first, we can do the cake and then presents"

She handed DS over to DP who gave him straight to my brother. She muttered something about how I always have a problem with everything she does and called me a cow, my brother took exception to this and said "don't talk about my sister like that, especially in her house and at a kids party, act your age"

MIL demanded to have a word in kitchen with DP and myself where she proceeded to tell us that she had wanted private time with her Grandson on his birthday and was furious at being spoken to like that by my disrespectful little shit brother. Now I have probably called my brother far worse over the years but I am not having anyone speak about him like that and especially as I don't think he said anything wrong so I told her if she couldn't be civil then to leave as I wasn't having a scene and if I hear another word about my brother I'll throw her arse out myself

Anyway a bit later we go to do the cake and as I'm walking in with the cake and we are all singing happy birthday she tries to take DS from DP who shrugged her off and helped DS blow out candles. She loudly asked what the problem was and my DP tried to shush her. She suddenly shouted at the top of her voice "your trying to keep me away from my baby" Well it was like a switch was finally set off in DP's brain and he told her to shut up and he would speak to her after party. Guests all left probably feeling quite awkward. DP then went off like a bomb telling her that she was disgusting to ruin his party and that DS is not her baby he is our baby and from now on she needs to back the fuck off or she won't be seeing either of them again. She tried to argue back but he wouldn't have it (was actually quite a turn on haha) since then he hasn't seen her, she has phoned once to see how him and baby are and he has just said "we are all fine, we will see you soon I'll ring you" and he has started driving himself to and from work. SIL sent a message kicking off about the way he spoke to their mum and his reply was "you can go and fuck off aswell"

I actually know I'm not being unreasonable I just wanted to brag about my DP finding his spine and finally slaying the monster Smile

OP posts:
TheCatThatDanced · 11/07/2019 15:42

I've read a lot of the thread - apologies OP - your MIL sounds out of order and not surprised your DBro acted the way he did.

Maybe this will shock her into her senses.

msmith501 · 11/07/2019 15:46

@zzzap - I'd be happy to provide more details but I do not want to highjack this thread to be honest and we've moved on...

Lizzielocket · 11/07/2019 15:46

It seems a few posters on this thread are indeed fucknuts.

mbosnz · 11/07/2019 15:46

@TheCatThatDanced

Good on you for apologising. If you read this in conjunction with OP's other threads about her MIL, you'll really get some insight into just how very restrained she has been, and how much patience and tolerance she has shown in the face of total disrespect and complete provocation! Personally if I had been in her shoes, I'd have been reading up on best methods of body disposal quite some time ago. . . Smile

msmith501 · 11/07/2019 15:49

Jimmy Corkhill and patios....

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 11/07/2019 15:49

@mbosnz

I can't lie I have a friend who is studying forensic science who has told me how I could get away with murder 😂😂

OP posts:
FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 11/07/2019 15:50

@TheCatThatDanced

Thankyou I appreciate that

OP posts:
mbosnz · 11/07/2019 15:52

I can't lie I have a friend who is studying forensic science who has told me how I could get away with murder 😂😂

A friend in need is a friend indeed. . . .Grin

I'm so glad your DH has seen the light. I do think it won't be a linear process, but it's a really good start. (As much as anything, once they've acknowledged some act on their part to be bat-shit crazy, it's a hell of a lot easier to get them to acknowledge some new act as being crazy by reminding them about the past acts. . .)

Bibijayne · 11/07/2019 16:04

@FirstTimeMummyDS88

To follow.up on my MIL. Not a clue. She's lactose intolerant herself. I think she thinks it's a similar issue with kids (it's not) and that it's occasionally worth it even if you do feel sick (like she does with cheese at Christmas). Except he's a baby and this is waaay too complex an idea for a baby to understand yet alone articulate. Frustrating!

Durgasarrow · 11/07/2019 16:06

MIL sounds like a horror.

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 11/07/2019 16:21

@Weenurse
@OneWorld

Oh my SIL is a whole other story
She up until a few weeks ago would regularly message her brother reminding him that there is rooms ready in their parents for DP and my DS and telling him to never marry me

OP posts:
TheCatThatDanced · 11/07/2019 16:36

mssmith501 - jimmy corkhill and patios evil Grin

mbosnz · 11/07/2019 16:39

I always liked Roald Dahl's idea with the roast leg of lamb as a murder weapon, meself. . . Grin

saraclara · 11/07/2019 16:55

More often than not, I feel sorry for the MILs in some MN threads. But I read the original back when it was posted and can only cheer at this update thread! This MIL doesn't deserve a single atom of my sympathy.

Bibijayne · 11/07/2019 16:57

@FirstTimeMummyDS88

What is wrong with your ILs!!!

Rainonmyguitar · 11/07/2019 16:59

sorry you come across as controlling as you want MIL to behave in the way you want

Controlling seems to be the word gaslighters use when people stand up for themselves. Seriously, is everyone expected to be a mug and put up with shit just because it's family?

msmith501 · 11/07/2019 16:59

Can't beat a good patio...

Howlovely · 11/07/2019 17:08

@IvanaPee, are you seriously suggesting that you believe that children/teenagers should accept any sort of behaviour from adults and not dare to speak out against it? That's very concerning indeed. Your comments read a little bit like you made a rash (incorrect) judgement without knowing the whole story, people questioned your judgement and instead if admitting you were incorrect you continue to try to justify your comments. Surely you can't truly believe that children should be told not to question an adult's behaviour when it is quite clearly appalling? At what age should they be given a voice? When they are 16 and can get married and join the army? At 18? 21?

Howlovely · 11/07/2019 17:10

OP, I am delighted on your behalf! You have the patience of a saint and hopefully things will be much easier for you now x

MissEliza · 11/07/2019 17:19

My ILs are a nightmare but your MIL is batshit. It must be very tiring.

GabsAlot · 11/07/2019 17:26

Im glad he stood up to her-but i still dont see the need to facilitate a relationship with your ds she'll poison his mind and you dont need that on top of evertyhing else-the woman isnt going to change

Cheeserton · 11/07/2019 17:44

Some impressively stupid responses on here alright. Confused

Well done OP.

AguerosAngel · 11/07/2019 17:52

I read your other thread OP and your MIL is an absolute horrorbag! Rooting through your medical records is absolutely unforgivable!

I’m glad your DP has finally seen the light with her and that he has your back, and your brother sounds awesome.

To those banging on about your brother being disrespectful, respect has to be earned, it’s not a given just because someone is older! My DGM was one who thought respect was an automatic right, we as teenagers told her otherwise as she was horrid to my DM and ran her into the ground with her narcissistic, gas lighting antics.

NameChange9854 · 11/07/2019 17:56

I think your brother behaved excellently. I don't like the 'children are to be seen and not heard' attitude that some posters seem to have. Your MIL behaved appallingly and your DB's response was appropriate and not rude.

Yessers · 11/07/2019 17:57

You all sound terrible!

Charming thread title.