To be over the moon my DP has finally took his balls out of Mummy's handbag and told her where to go

[FirstTimeMummyDS88]

from Hell, like she's actually a Demon http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amibeing_unreasonable/3610296-mil-from-hell-like-she-s-actually-a-demon

Link to previous thread above

So as a few of you may remember reading my previous posts my MiL is bat shit crazy. The lest few weeks my DP has been more supportive but was still getting a lift to work everyday from her (they work in same place and she says there's no point them both driving).

It was DS 1st birthday 2 weeks ago and we decided to have a few friends and family around for cake and a few party games, decided against a big party as he's 1 and will never remember it and we planned a few days out over his birthday week.

Party started at 2pm, DS was sat on floor with a few other children playing pass the parcel (with help from my brother who is 14) when PIL arrived at 3.15, MIL swanned in like a Disney Villain and picked up DS mid game from my brothers knee without so much of a word to anyone. I asked her if she could give DS back to my brother so he could finish game as DS was trying to get down. She loudly announced that she wanted to give him his presents. DP stepped in and said "well it won't hurt to wait 5 minutes, let's let him finish playing first, we can do the cake and then presents"

She handed DS over to DP who gave him straight to my brother. She muttered something about how I always have a problem with everything she does and called me a cow, my brother took exception to this and said "don't talk about my sister like that, especially in her house and at a kids party, act your age"

MIL demanded to have a word in kitchen with DP and myself where she proceeded to tell us that she had wanted private time with her Grandson on his birthday and was furious at being spoken to like that by my disrespectful little shit brother. Now I have probably called my brother far worse over the years but I am not having anyone speak about him like that and especially as I don't think he said anything wrong so I told her if she couldn't be civil then to leave as I wasn't having a scene and if I hear another word about my brother I'll throw her arse out myself

Anyway a bit later we go to do the cake and as I'm walking in with the cake and we are all singing happy birthday she tries to take DS from DP who shrugged her off and helped DS blow out candles. She loudly asked what the problem was and my DP tried to shush her. She suddenly shouted at the top of her voice "your trying to keep me away from my baby" Well it was like a switch was finally set off in DP's brain and he told her to shut up and he would speak to her after party. Guests all left probably feeling quite awkward. DP then went off like a bomb telling her that she was disgusting to ruin his party and that DS is not her baby he is our baby and from now on she needs to back the fuck off or she won't be seeing either of them again. She tried to argue back but he wouldn't have it (was actually quite a turn on haha) since then he hasn't seen her, she has phoned once to see how him and baby are and he has just said "we are all fine, we will see you soon I'll ring you" and he has started driving himself to and from work. SIL sent a message kicking off about the way he spoke to their mum and his reply was "you can go and fuck off aswell"

I actually know I'm not being unreasonable I just wanted to brag about my DP finding his spine and finally slaying the monster

I'm glad your dh stuck up for you all against his mother... it really is the best feeling when they start to realise how toxic their relationship is. My mil told the entire family that I refused to let her see her grandchildren, I got nasty messages from his auntie and cousins. What she failed to mention was the fact that they wanted to come and stay on a weekend when we were busy so we said no. And that when they did visit I told her to leave dd alone while she was eating as she kept trying to pick her up and taking food off her. My dh told her that she had 2 choices either treat me with respect or no contact. She isn't quite there yet but she has got a lot better. Hopefully it turns out the same for you.

Gosh just realised I have raised a 12 year old chav! One that I am extremely proud of, one that will address nasty, uncalled for comments, bullying etc. in a polite way when she sees injustice and downright rudeness regardless of the age of the individual

Proud Mums of Chavs, Unite, LOL.

Your brother is a fantastic human being. I would've been petrified at that age. Hope my children feel they can stand up for their loved ones when they're that age.

@ TheCatThatDanced maybe the Mil shouldnt have called the op a cow.The Mil is in the wrong,nobody else.

I remember your last post.
She is batshit.
Your DH did well.
Your brother is awesome!
Narcissistic fucknut is the best use of the english language I have seen in a while.
And lots of MNers are really freakin weird and/or have little to no comprehension skills.

Excellent news OP! I read your previous thread and was utterly horrified at the stuff MIL has done. Good on your brother too!!

Don't count you chickens yet. It's taken 5 years to get here, you've got a least another 5-10 years of him then feeling guilty/sorry for her and making up, her being on best behaviour for 5 mins before slowly reverting to type before it all blows up again, rinse and repeat.

Good on your dh. I think those people being negative havent read your previous threads.

Your MIL is batshit crazy.

I recall your previous thread. Well done to you and your DP! Sometimes you just have to draw a line around batshit crazy behavior.

@TheCatThatDanced Agreed IvanaPee a teenager should not be getting involved in this, at all. Shows disrespect to an adult of MIL's age here.

And this attitude is exactly why the MIL should not have unsupervised contact with her DGC. Because there are still some people who believe that a child should never speak out about adult behaviour or language that makes them feel upset or uncomfortable. If you think it is rude or inappropriate for a 14 year old to ask the MIL not to call her DIL a cow, then you must also think it would be inappropriate in the future for the DGC to complain when his grandmother bad mouths his mother.

I think you win the craziest MIL award OP. After your last thread, I'm surprised she was allowed to step foot in your house.
Good on your little bro for standing up for you, sounds like you can hold your own too.
I'm surprised she didn't hit the roof that your DM was allowed to take bubs out by herself.

OP you are getting some really nasty comments on here, obviously some posters behave impeccably at all times regardless of the other persons attitude and behaviour towards them.

I'm pleased your DH has come to his own conclusions on his DM behaviour. I think your DB is a star, I would like to think my DD (15) would always call out nasty behaviour. I think you and your DH sound lovely and I hope this is means your relationship is stronger.

*I did go and get some advice and he basically said that it would not benefit her to go for visitation through the courts as I could actually prove that her having unsupervised visits with my son could be detrimental to his mental health as he got older. I had messages off her family members saying how negative she talks about me around my DS and how she says she can't wait for him to see me for what I really am.

He also said that SS would probably treat her report as malicious and that if she did go ahead with that I could actually report her to the police for harassment*

Are you sure this is the best advice available?

It's only, what you've said isn't really bad enough at all to mean they wouldn't allow a visit.

Jesus, driving him to work with her everyday, I know they may work at the same hospital, but still, there really isn't a need for it, it seems like he's never really cut his cord.

I know you're happy he said something now, but be ready for it not to last, especially as they work in the same building, after a bit it'll most likely be back to normal with her and him. It's clearly a very deep relationship.

If a brother hadn’t stuck up for me in those circumstances I would have thought he was complicit with what she’d said.
At 14 years old he’s old enough to know the difference between wrong and right - good for him for pointing it out to her!

Interesting that she 'intervened' both times at the centre of attention .... (game and candle blowing)

@womenspeakout

At first when she was driving she said it was so I could have the car (I was on maternity and and we only had 1 car at the time so it was a lot easier than me driving I him in if I needed car) but once we got a 2nd car DP did say he was happy to take himself and that's when she said it was easier to keep arrangement going

You can tell who has lovely family members
I called one of mine a pathetic sad cunt once which if you had just seen what triggered it would have seemed OTT, but it was a culmination of 15 years of stuff

I've got a mix of lovely and non-lovely. There are some who presume on other people's good manners and decorum to ensure they will not receive what they know full well to be their just desserts.

Maybe read the previous threads before judging the OP, you might then understand how it's got to this point.

@FirstTimeMummyDS88 well done you, your DB and your DH. It's going to be a long hard road for you both, but at least he's started to see how toxic she is, and has acted on it.

Your title also made me BTW

@Greensleeves narcissistic fucknut is a truly wonderful phrase, can I borrow it?!

Delighted to read this update OP. I am sorry to see some obnoxious posters commenting with their judgmental and inappropriate drivel. Calling you ‘controlling’ is laughable and among the worst example of gas-lighting on this forum, given the litany of abuse and terrible behaviour you had to endure from your MIL. Having read your original thread at the time, I think you are the very opposite of controlling and incredibly fair-minded and show massive empathy to allow this horrendous woman to still have contact or let her come to the birthday party. She has once again proven and very publicly that she has zero respect or regard for your family, allowing her narcissistic and entitled behaviour to ruin a special family occasion. Personally, after her threats to report you to social services and trying to bully you a legal action, I would not have allowed her any contact. And yet, you are continuing to show her some completely undeserved kindness to actually allow her to come. What more do some people expect you to put up with! The scale of virtue signalling fuckery is high today! Personally, I would have no contact for a while and only allow her to see your DC once she genuinely apologised and proves to you both that she can actually behave. It probably won’t happen. That is down to her though. Once again, I am reminded that I won the lottery with my lovely MIL. She is actually a dear friend to me.

@weenurse Her SIL is another story. Read her previous thread. OP got terrible luck with her DPs family.

Op, the level of your MILs craziness is epic!

OP - sorry you come across as controlling as you want MIL to behave in the way you want and your DP to behave the same way. I also think you're a bit controlling because you made an issue here when one didn't need to be made or not to the extent you wanted. It just seems like you're getting off on the drama.

I agree to a certain extent that all ages should be offered respect but here in your MIL's case - a teenager isn't speaking to her with respect, that's a generational issue generally from her POV.

I haven't read your previous posts so may be coming at this

She's toxic. You can still report her to the hospital and get her sacked.