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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be over the moon my DP has finally took his balls out of Mummy's handbag and told her where to go

411 replies

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 11/07/2019 09:18

from Hell, like she's actually a Demon http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amibeing_unreasonable/3610296-mil-from-hell-like-she-s-actually-a-demon

Link to previous thread above

So as a few of you may remember reading my previous posts my MiL is bat shit crazy. The lest few weeks my DP has been more supportive but was still getting a lift to work everyday from her (they work in same place and she says there's no point them both driving).

It was DS 1st birthday 2 weeks ago and we decided to have a few friends and family around for cake and a few party games, decided against a big party as he's 1 and will never remember it and we planned a few days out over his birthday week.

Party started at 2pm, DS was sat on floor with a few other children playing pass the parcel (with help from my brother who is 14) when PIL arrived at 3.15, MIL swanned in like a Disney Villain and picked up DS mid game from my brothers knee without so much of a word to anyone. I asked her if she could give DS back to my brother so he could finish game as DS was trying to get down. She loudly announced that she wanted to give him his presents. DP stepped in and said "well it won't hurt to wait 5 minutes, let's let him finish playing first, we can do the cake and then presents"

She handed DS over to DP who gave him straight to my brother. She muttered something about how I always have a problem with everything she does and called me a cow, my brother took exception to this and said "don't talk about my sister like that, especially in her house and at a kids party, act your age"

MIL demanded to have a word in kitchen with DP and myself where she proceeded to tell us that she had wanted private time with her Grandson on his birthday and was furious at being spoken to like that by my disrespectful little shit brother. Now I have probably called my brother far worse over the years but I am not having anyone speak about him like that and especially as I don't think he said anything wrong so I told her if she couldn't be civil then to leave as I wasn't having a scene and if I hear another word about my brother I'll throw her arse out myself

Anyway a bit later we go to do the cake and as I'm walking in with the cake and we are all singing happy birthday she tries to take DS from DP who shrugged her off and helped DS blow out candles. She loudly asked what the problem was and my DP tried to shush her. She suddenly shouted at the top of her voice "your trying to keep me away from my baby" Well it was like a switch was finally set off in DP's brain and he told her to shut up and he would speak to her after party. Guests all left probably feeling quite awkward. DP then went off like a bomb telling her that she was disgusting to ruin his party and that DS is not her baby he is our baby and from now on she needs to back the fuck off or she won't be seeing either of them again. She tried to argue back but he wouldn't have it (was actually quite a turn on haha) since then he hasn't seen her, she has phoned once to see how him and baby are and he has just said "we are all fine, we will see you soon I'll ring you" and he has started driving himself to and from work. SIL sent a message kicking off about the way he spoke to their mum and his reply was "you can go and fuck off aswell"

I actually know I'm not being unreasonable I just wanted to brag about my DP finding his spine and finally slaying the monster Smile

OP posts:
StreetwiseHercules · 12/07/2019 12:08

“Agreed IvanaPee a teenager should not be getting involved in this, at all. Shows disrespect to an adult of MIL's age here.”

Insane. Nobody deserves respect due to age. The Yorkshire Ripper is 73.

NewFoneWhoDis · 12/07/2019 12:43

Spot the future MIL's-from-hell on this thread. Wink

I for one think your brother was more mature than your MIL will ever be. He had EVERY right to ask someone politely not not name-call his sister in her own home. The only failure here was that the husband didn't do it and it was a 14yo that had to school the adults present on a bit of manners. You should be very proud of the young man.

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 12/07/2019 13:06

@Motoko

I'm sorry I apologise I thought you were referring to me.

OP posts:
mbosnz · 12/07/2019 13:13

@FirstTimeMummyDS88

Has DH managed to retain possession of his family jewels? Have you debriefed after the debacle of the first birthday?

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 12/07/2019 13:15

@mbosnz

His mum has called him asking about him and baby and he just said "we're fine thanks, I'll call you soon"

He has said he wants some space from them all. Although she did call his office yesterday to see if he wanted lunch with her and he said no.

OP posts:
mbosnz · 12/07/2019 13:18

Good on him! Enjoy the peace and quiet - long may it last!

Tensixtysix · 12/07/2019 13:22

Do people like this exist? I always thought it was overblown on TV dramas lol!

WhatchaMaCalllit · 12/07/2019 13:37

She's not respecting his desire for space. She has phoned him at work to find out if he wants to go to lunch with her. She has phoned him asking after him and baby.
He needs to now tell her "Mum, I said I needed space from you. That means that you're not to contact me. When I'm ready to resume things, I will contact you. Phone calls asking me to lunch are not respecting my wishes. Phone calls at all or text messages or any form of communication until I'm ready is not respecting my wishes. If you persist in this, I will have no option but to pull back even further from the levels of communication we currently have as this is my choice and mine alone. You will not sway me. You are not to get X, Y or Z to contact me on your behalf in relation to this. By carrying on the way you did at the baby's birthday, you and you alone have brought this on yourself. It is no one else's fault. Stop contacting me for the time being. I love you but I don't really like you at the moment and that is hard for me to process. I have to go but I'll be in touch with you when I'm ready."

Sorrywhat · 12/07/2019 14:04

I applaud your younger brother. Having the courage to stand up for his sister in such a composed manner - bravo! Give respect to get respect. She made a comment first and he ended it. Good for him! You’re very lucky to have a loving, caring family who will speak up when they’re family is threatened (so to speak).

howdyalikemenow · 12/07/2019 14:21

Actual footage of certain MN-ers disapproving of all the chavvy behaviour.

To be over the moon my DP has finally took his balls out of Mummy's handbag and told her where to go
redexpat · 12/07/2019 14:23

Thats actually how I imagine some MNers!

mbosnz · 12/07/2019 14:24

LOL, that's perfect. . .

derxa · 12/07/2019 14:45

Awful behaviour all round

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 12/07/2019 15:00

@derxa

I know I'm a chav it's been discussed at length now

OP posts:
Motoko · 12/07/2019 15:00

No worries @FirstTimeMummyDS88, I could have been clearer. You've had a lot of shit from some posters, so it's understandable.

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 12/07/2019 15:01

@derxa

😂😂

OP posts:
Motoko · 12/07/2019 15:02

Oh look, there's another smug one!

mbosnz · 12/07/2019 15:05

Okay, could someone tell me, when does one give someone a biscuit?

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 12/07/2019 15:07

@mbosnz

I actually didn't know what a chav was at first I had to google it 😂😂

OP posts:
mbosnz · 12/07/2019 15:17

@FirstTimeMummyDS88

LOL, I was one up on you then, I knew what a chav was! Mainly because of me other 'arf's Northern Heritage. . .Grin

howdyalikemenow · 12/07/2019 15:28

@mbosnz - here - use some of mine if you don't have enough! BiscuitBiscuitBiscuit BiscuitBiscuit

mbosnz · 12/07/2019 15:34

@howdyalikemenow

Why thank you! Most kind! Grin

WhoKnewBeefStew · 12/07/2019 15:42

I remember your thread OP... congratulations Thanks

WhatTheWatersShowedMe · 12/07/2019 15:49

Wow. She sounds like a fucking NIGHTMARE. You're well shot of her. Tbh you've been a saint to have put up with her as long as you have.

I bet you a bazillion pounds she comes down with some kind of serious illness in the next couple of weeks...

PrayingandHoping · 12/07/2019 15:55

@FirstTimeMummyDS88 i would also expect "normal" in-laws to ask after you when asking how the family is! Certainly my parents ask after my husband my my in-laws ask after me to my husband.

He needs to lay it out that you are part of the family and they either accept you as part of the family or .... (he needs to make a decision)

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