To want to return all my ungrateful child's bday gifts

[SpaSushi]

So child's birthday today ( 10) When asked recently about what wanted listed money /vouchers ( to spend on games stuff) and then at a shop begged for particular items of clothing.

sorted out other family members to get the clothes and vouchers. I didn't want to get more money/ vouchers so thought with holidays around the corner i would get tickets for a day at Legoland. We've been once-before many years ago and both children have asked a few times about going back. Winner idea, i thought.

So we lay out all the cards and gifts this evening.
First gift: 'what's this? Paper? My favourite' (sarcastic tone) - its an amazon gift voucher

Second gift- ( clothing item wanted) child ' is this just xxx?'

Third gift (clothing, not a requested item) ' I've already got that exact one from another relative '

Fourth gift ( mine, I'm waiting for happiness to burst forth) 'whats this?' Me: 'read it' ; child reads it ' you've got a gift for you and sibling, not just me'. Me: ' you cant go to Legoland yourself!?' At this point i am so upset, i lose it with child and rant about ungratefulness.

Still has last present from sibling- clothing item specifically requested, opens it and doesn't say anything. No thank you, nothing.

AIBU to want to take the whole lot back?. I am so upset , i get sometimes you get gifts you don't like but all bar two things were asked for. this is just shit attitude. For context child had a meltdown at Xmas over the gifts santa brought- including a requested item and filler items. To cap it off child is now simpering loud crocodile tears in their room and giving me evil looks for telling them off after throwing some surly thank yous at me and sibling.

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

I send you nothing but positive thoughts and best wishes for the teenage years. I think you might need them. One of my daughter’s was similar to this. I promise it eventually gets better. In the meantime I still have Valium leftover,feel free to message me at anytime! X

I just happened across this chain and can relate. I know this is a while back but scrolled through half the chain and had to stop. I’m so horrified by so many judgemental, contrite, critical and even arrogant responses. You came here for support, whilst still raw and emotional, and got interrogated and blasted. I’m so sorry. I had a similar barrage when struggling with breastfeeding many years ago and had a terrible bashing, when I was already at a low end and vulnerable ebb. I’ve not asked for advice here since. People can be so rude, especially when anonymous. I’ve no doubt you’re doing a fantastic job as a parent. Your present choices were based on what you thought would excite in the moment and were very generous. It’s horrible when things derail like this and I truly feel for you. It’s terrible to go through what you did and you feel it doubly as you blame yourself for it happening, for it escalating and overanalyse what could have been done differently, on both sides, past and present, whilst also having to manage it as a bloody ‘teachable moment’ too. I hope it blew over soon after with hugs and make ups all round. Ignore everyone, you’re doing great. Probably way better than most of them who posted (prob just trying to boost themselves and their own insecurities in the process, bollox to the lot of them, I saw). Much love Xxx

This is behaviour to come down hard on imo - if it’s not stamped out now it’s going to make them so unpopular as they grow up.

I wouldn’t take away the gifts given by others, but I would make the child write nice thank you notes (or at least call to say a sincere-sounding thank you). And I would tell them that if they don’t stop the tears and the sulking right now and say a proper thank you to you for the legoland tickets, you’ll take the sibling and a friend instead and the ungrateful child can have a boring day at home.

I would also be telling them that presents are a gift not an entitlement, that they must politely say thank you regardless of how they feel, and that if they behave that way ever again they simply won’t get presents.

Oh god, zombie. @CAM123 who are you helping by reviving this?! OP likely doesn’t want to be reminded of a thread where people were assholes so why revive it now?!

I think you need to nip this in the bud. My SD who is now 16 has never once said thank you for all the gifts I have bought, even when she has asked for them. It’s rudeness, bad manners and an air of being entitled. There’s no excuse. Her parents have always let it go so now it’s accepted behaviour.

Hi all,
This appears to be a zombie thread so rather than waste everyone's time we'll close it now to further comments.