Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner devastated....I am confused

156 replies

B5670 · 09/07/2019 21:00

Partner bought a birthday present for me. Quite expensive item. I thought long and hard but had to tell him I didn't like it. Want to swop it for same thing but different colour.
He has now said he is upset...I am ungrateful...
I wanted to tell the truth..
AIBU????

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 09/07/2019 21:02

YANBU.

IAmcuriousyellow · 09/07/2019 21:02

No, you’re not. It’s sad he’s let it hurt his feelings but since it’s an expensive item you’re absolutely right to make it the colour you want. He can look on it as a learning curve, one in which he learns your favourite colour. Pouting is just silly.

MrsTommyBanks · 09/07/2019 21:03

YANBU

notacooldad · 09/07/2019 21:03

No you are not being UR
Both me and DP tell each other if we haven't quite hit the spot with presents.

If someone started telling me I was ungrateful, which clearly you are not and started to get upset I would want to tell him to grow the fuck up to be honest

Travis1 · 09/07/2019 21:03

Yanbu. I assume you didn’t say ‘your taste is shit I hate it?’

Expressedways · 09/07/2019 21:04

I think as long as you made it clear you like the present and are very grateful then that’s fine. You’re just swapping the colour, it’s not like you hate the entire gift and I think that’s so much better than accepting something you don’t like and won’t use/wear particularly if it’s expensive.

OakElmAsh · 09/07/2019 21:04

Without knowing what it was, and whether the colour he chose was hideous or not, its hard to say
I would err on the side of being grateful, saying thank you, and keeping my dissatisfaction to myself for anything that isn't hugely hugely off the mark

cstaff · 09/07/2019 21:05

Better that than just leaving it go to waste

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 09/07/2019 21:05

Is it a car?

Or a pair of shoes?

I need context to judge really.

MissConductUS · 09/07/2019 21:06

YANBU. We gave up on big surprise presents years ago. I email him links for the things I want, with sizes and colors clearly indicated.

You weren't ungrateful, you just preferred a different color.

Original poster
B5670 · 09/07/2019 21:06

A watch....

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/07/2019 21:07

I don’t think it was ungrateful. It’s important that you like it.

HUZZAH212 · 09/07/2019 21:12

Is it possible he bought it on sale or reconditioned so he won't be able to swap, but didn't want to let on it was a bargain price?

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/07/2019 21:12

YANBU. He’s being selfish by making this about his rejected feelings not you having something you’ll enjoy. He’s just shat all over a special gift thing and that’s horrible. After his reaction I’d tell him I didn’t want the stupid watch. Is that what he’s thinking?

A gift is for the recipient. He should want you to be happy.

stayathomer · 09/07/2019 21:13

Laptop? Phone? These are things that would irk me but so expensive I think I'd have said it too!

Prisonbreak · 09/07/2019 21:15

My man bought me a beautiful expensive watch for Christmas. It was lovely. So lovely in fact that I was wearing a near identical beautiful expensive watch that I already owned. I had to come clean and tell him that it was lovely but it was so similar in style to my own watch that I probably wouldn’t swap one out for the other. He was fine with me exchanging it and I have a stunning necklace that comes out on special occasions.
If it’s not your taste, you were right to tell him, otherwise he would be as well setting money on fire

Luckingfovely · 09/07/2019 21:16

He's being pathetic.

pictish · 09/07/2019 21:18

No yanbu...unless you were rude about it (and I’m sure you weren’t) he is being peevish to take offence. It’s really hard to get personal items like jewellery and watches right for people as taste is sooooo subjective. If it’s expensive you want it to be right. He shouldn’t mind.

Tooner · 09/07/2019 21:18

Bloody hell he needs to toughen up

ComeAndDance · 09/07/2019 21:19

I have to say I couldnt be bothered to exchange for the same watch but in a different colour...

Original poster
B5670 · 09/07/2019 21:21

It is a really bright colour....One I rarely wear..but I understand where you are coming from comeanddance.

OP posts:
TapasForTwo · 09/07/2019 21:22

Actually, I don't think it is all about him. He will be upset because he got it wrong. So I think you are a little unreasonable.

I tend to think of watches as a practical item rather than a fashion accessory, so probably wouldn't be that fussed about the colour unless it was really out there.

Can you post a picture of it?

katseyes7 · 09/07/2019 21:23

My ex once asked me what l'd like for Christmas, so l gave him a list of options, one of which was perfume. Typically blokey, he just took the list to a department store, and they gave him the wrong one (similar name, but a different version - think of the various versions of Daisy, by Marc Jacobs ). He asked if it was ok, or did l want him to change it. l said l'd rather he did, as l loved the one l'd asked for, and so did he - he always commented that l smelled lovely. lt wasn't even his fault, he'd given the assistant the list and she gave him the wrong one.
Not a problem, he took it back and they exchanged it. The other one was nice, but not 'mine'. l wore it every day, and it was the only perfume l liked. Surely it's better to have something you love, especially if it was expensive, than something that every time you wear it, you think you'd have preferred the other version?

notacooldad · 09/07/2019 21:25

Actually, I don't think it is all about him. He will be upset because he got it wrong..
But 'devastated and calling the OP ungrateful.
It's a present that should be exchanged with out much hassle, not the end of the world

Fatted · 09/07/2019 21:26

DH are both of the opinion if we've got it wrong with gifts we'd sooner known the truth and swap it than let the money go to waste.