Partner devastated....I am confused

[B5670]

Partner bought a birthday present for me. Quite expensive item. I thought long and hard but had to tell him I didn't like it. Want to swop it for same thing but different colour.
He has now said he is upset...I am ungrateful...
I wanted to tell the truth..
AIBU????

@seahorseshoe - same with us. I really really hate the idea of my DH (or DC - they are adults, when they were small, i appreciated anything they gave me) agonising over getting me something nice, only for it to be "meh". It feels like such a waste of an opportunity, not just the money.

In this case, I think they need a good chat about managing present giving/receiving expectations and make a plan how to handle it in future.

Yanbu..i was given a christmas gift by a guy i was seeing. I didnt like it but as it was expensive i felt bad to take it and never wear it. I told him the next day and he was fine about it, he returned it and told me to pick something else. I feel alot better being honest rather than have someone waste their money. I had also got him some items and he didnt like one of them so i returned it no prob. I was happy as again, no money wasted.

So he's gone into full on jerk mode? Shame. I think he needs a wake up call of some sort.

I don't think you are ungrateful at all. I would see this as a real concern tbh. Totally the kind of thing my df would have done. It's not about you it's about him & now he's sulking.

When I buy a present for someone I really want them to like it. If they've got different taste & would like to swap it for something they actually like, fair enough. What he's saying is he gets to choose what you like & what you wear. I don't think that's very nice for grown ups really xx

This makes me feel uncomfortable OP. How long have you been together? If it’s a while, you would think he’d know what you wear & don’t wear. And as pps have said, it seems to be about him & his feelings. Can you sit him down again for a chat?

Our first Christmas together, my now husband took his Mam and Aunt to choose an expensive handbag for me, which they all loved. A couple of weeks before Christmas, he took me to the shop (I didn't know what he was buying or from where) and asked my opinion in a few different items, one of which was the handbag he'd already bought. I told him it was the most hideous thing I'd ever seen. On Christmas morning, I was given the bag along with the receipt to be exchanged for whatever I'd prefer and he made me promise to give him a list for future Christmas gifts so he can pick from a predetermined selection of things I actually like! There's no point having a gift you don't like and won't use.