That if you kid is vegan you don't withhold that information till 6 hours before the playday?

[Luxplus]

Sunday a girls mom from nusery txt me and wants to plan playday for today with dd1. All well, arrange that I pick the girls up at 2.30pm after I get off work and the girl eats here. I ask the mom regarding allergies ect and get told "the girl is not fussy - likes food" all well and good.
I buy and plan to make pasta carbonara with corn hobbs (a favourite dish with my dds).
9am this morning get a txt from the mom "oh btw you do know that girl is vegan?" ... Nope did not know that
So spend my break and inbetween time at work searching for vegan recipes for kids... Hurried out after work to shop vegan stuff and managed to make falafel in lettuces burgers with fries. Was actually quite proud of myself for pulling it off (not a confident chef). Dad turns up and it turns out that the family only eats fries for birthdays ... No received a txt from me asking me to plz remember that the family do not eat any processed food and that she prefers me to not serve the unhealthy food we normally eat for her girl?
What the heck do I answer back to that?

Tell the mum that her escalating superiority based on moral oneupmanship around food screams low self-esteem and you’re concerned she’ll pass that burden on to her kids. If you can fit in HTH somewhere, all the better.

^^This! 😂

And TwistyTop I want to come for a play date and dinner at yours!

I would honestly tell her mum that you will be happy to feed the girl the packed lunch/dinner that her mother will supply next time she comes over but you don't feel able to deal with all the restrictions demanded.

I have a few restrictions in my diet - I take food for myself and my boys to save anyone else having to faff over it. They know, they ask, but I say I'll bring the GF stuff, and please don't stress over it.
I wouldn't DARE to ask them to get stuff from a specific shop, how very fucking rude and entitled!

Next time just give her beans on toast. Most bread is suitable for vegans.

Do not allow yourself to be dictated to by another parent about what you eat or do in your home. Do not pander to this woman. Are you in awe of her or something, is she some kind of nursery gate queen who the other mums fight to offer play dates for her child to attend?

You are setting yourself up to be treated like an absolute mug, and no doubt as little princess gets older her behaviour may follow suit and you don’t want your child running around satisfying her every whim and desire because you, her mother does. Even if this woman is just plain odd, take note of this big red, flashing light. Warning! You carry on accommodating her, you have no idea where the crazy will end.

I would reply along the lines of, “I don’t think any future play dates are going to be workable.”

LauraMipsum

Off topic.

One of my uni lecturers was vegi and had brought up her kids vegi. Her teenage son cam home from a friend's where he had tried chicken for the first time. Mum asked him what he thought and was given the answer, "tastes like quorn".

Cheeky cow. I would respond with "thanks for the consideration can you hear the sarcasm? but i think it's best we avoid dinner dates unless you would like to provide me with the ingrediants and information in advance."

Asked my dh if he saw her a drop off to have a word. Turned out he saw the dad and had a quiet word. Dad kinda apologized for his wife's very special ideas around food and agreement is forwardly that they bring food for playdays and I can supplement with veggies and fruit. Seems like a good compromise for me.

Excellent - sounds like the dad is sane at least!

If there is a next time, and you don't want to make the effort, ask the mum to send a packed lunch/ tea for her DD.
When she texted the information, you should have said at that stage, 'No you didn't mention she's vegan. Please send vegan food.'
The dad sounds like a dick saying they only have fries on special occasions. Did you ask him or did he just come out with it? I can't imagine criticising the food someone had kindly made the effort to feed my child.

What a bitch- however nice the child I wouldn’t have her round again if I had to deal with that mother.

If the child is nice and your dd likes having her round just smile, nod and serve beans on toast or pasta and pesto -vegan pesto is very good. No need to engage. Life’s too short to battle idiots.

@TwistyTop I want to come to tea at your house

Poor girl, I bet she was looking forward to some occasional fries. Good Dad compromise, I bet he's used to this sort of chat.

My sons mate had been coming round for ages for tea and having parmos (chicken), lasagne, slag Bol etc.

Then I found out he was a veggie and I’m too fucking mortified to tell his mam (who I’m now much closer to) that he ate a fuck load of meat at ours for about 6 months. 😐

Excellent - sounds like the dad is sane at least!

Except he was the one who said they only have fries at birthdays. Why mention it? It’s not like they never eat fries!

I agree with webuilt

Her twin hobbies are performance-parenting and performance-veganning. When parents ask if her DD has any dietary requirements, if she replies in good time, like any normal person (with her preferences) would, that the girl is a vegan who only eats whole foods, this gives you the chance to accommodate her requirements, all good and deprives her of any attention and ability to point-score.

I would reply “you’re DD is welcome to come over and play for a couple of hours after nursery but please come and collect her before your normal dinner time.”

Next time just give her beans on toast. Most bread is suitable for vegans.

What, beans out of a tin? From the supermarket? What are you thinking, Bertrand?

Rude weirdos. Do they only ever interact with others like themselves? Utterly cringe. Hope they’ve savings for their poor kids therapy bills

I’d ask politely that she bring her own food.

Re avoiding garlic, they were following some kind of plan where you avoid garlic and onion because it makes you more angry?! This was 11 years ago and I can’t recall any more details but I know it was something like that.

I felt angry when they all rejected my home made offerings but I don’t think it was because of the garlic!

@El0die the dad said it more to the girl like "what did you girls have for dinner?" And when she replied he said "oh fries, that's out special birthday treat" still smiling and all, but I got the sense already there that I done something wrong

I just googled ‘yoga diet avoid garlic angry’ and lots of links came up.

Fair enough they had their own beliefs but I felt like they could have at least told me!

It wasn’t the group for me anyway.

@MsTSwift I don't think they only interact with ppl like them. Dd1 goes to a standard nusery but they do live out on the country side with some land so perhaps they grow alot of their own veggies and fruit

If I were in your position, I would invite her again but no play dates involving meals - snacks are easier to cover to be honest I've never gone through as many carrot sticks as when my sons friends are over - they actually request them weirdos

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll you might be right that it's a way of digging at other ppls lifestyle.

I got an reply from the mom saying that she'll make sure to let me know in the future the food I can make for her girl and which stores to get it

Haha lol - is the only possible answer.