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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

Are they just shit parents?

170 replies

Peggytheunicorn · 09/07/2019 18:19

I am fully prepared to be told I BU
But I have to ask DH nephew is 25 his gf is 23
Both are lazy AF
They live with MIL & FIL
They have an 8 month old DS that came from a one night stand and nobody has questioned the child’s paternity not that it is important to me.
But these two are lazy
They stay in bed till midday Whilst MIL looks after baby they go for weekends away and such whilst baby is with MIL.

I just think that it’s wrong they never ever have their own child ever.

The baby’s mum is so lazy she sleeps in every day when I ask mil why she allows it, she simply says
“Because they are young”
Wtf
I was 17 and raising my twin DS alone in my own flat at that age!
Am I being horrible or am I right in thinking this is not great?

OP posts:

Unshriven · 09/07/2019 18:22

It's none of your business.

The child will benefit from the extended family set up, the more people loving it, the better.
Leave them be.

Vibiano · 09/07/2019 18:23

YABVVVU.
If MIL wants to do that, it's up to her. Probably better for the baby.

Unshriven · 09/07/2019 18:23

I mean let's face it, a 17 year old with twins is nobody's ideal.

F10029 · 09/07/2019 18:24

Well I think that if it works for them and MIL is happy, then it's not really any of your business. You are presumably not with them all the time so how can you really say what they do or don't do. I don't really understand why it is annoying you.

Original poster

Peggytheunicorn · 09/07/2019 18:25

Benefit really? By never having his parents around?
Please tell me what benefit that could possibly have?
It maybe none of my business but when I see a small child without his parents and my elderly in laws looking after their great grandson because his mother or father can’t be bothered to get out of bed I do think that I am allowed an opinion?

OP posts:

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 09/07/2019 18:25

I guess it's hard to see someone having that much support when you did it all alone, it's not their fault though.

Pineapplefish · 09/07/2019 18:26

It's OK if MIL really doesn't mind. If she's resentful but doesn't like to say so then that's not ok.

Passthecherrycoke · 09/07/2019 18:26

Yeah they’re lazy

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 09/07/2019 18:27

So this is MILs great grandchild? Maybe they lie in till midday because the baby’s is up all night screaming.

How do you know their daily routine?

Original poster

Peggytheunicorn · 09/07/2019 18:29

Baby certainly is not up all night because they are always bragging about what a good sleeper he is?
I know the routine because nephews brother tells us he hears it all from his brother.

OP posts:

Littlechocola · 09/07/2019 18:31

None of your business.

FrenchyQ · 09/07/2019 18:32

They'll never get any better tho if MIL is picking up the slack

NoSauce · 09/07/2019 18:33

Why are you asking? You’ve already made your mind up.

AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 09/07/2019 18:33

What time do you have to get up to be a good parent, OP?

ohhelloitsyou · 09/07/2019 18:34

The problem here is if you mil and fil say anything off go the parents with baby in tow angry that they’ve been called bad parents.. they will likely get a council house or find somewhere else then they’ll be doing the same thing to the baby but on their own without mil to pick the baby up when it’s needed.
So in her eyes, it’s better she does it than nobody at all.

LuckyLou7 · 09/07/2019 18:34

Are you absolutely sure this is their daily routine and that they have no input into the care of their child?

user1471449295 · 09/07/2019 18:35

Yeah they’re lazy. Probably don’t like being parents. It’ll come back on them though.
It is tough seeing someone else get all the help that you didn’t get. It much you can do though if everyone else is happy with the arrangement.

Ponoka7 · 09/07/2019 18:35

You can't make someone step up.

So MIL either watches the Baby being neglected, at risk or she reports them. She'll be hoping that they shape up.

Or the Mother has PND and they've decided not to share that with you.

She's made her decision.

You're just putting more pressure on MIL.

NoSauce · 09/07/2019 18:36

You shouldn’t questioning MIL either. Keep your nose out.

PortiaCastis · 09/07/2019 18:36

Oh blimey why doesn't MIL turf them out of bed

Butchyrestingface · 09/07/2019 18:37

I know the routine because nephews brother tells us he hears it all from his brother.

How do you know he’s not just stirring?

As a 17 yo with twins, you must have been the subject of some judgey comments from ‘concerned’ types.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 09/07/2019 18:38

Some people .

Mind your own business.

flumpybear · 09/07/2019 18:39

It's shit - I hope my children don't grow up to be so useless!
MIL is an enabler- they're lazy and crap parents

MyOpinionIsValid · 09/07/2019 18:39

Bit bitchy of you to slip sly in about paternity, he has obviously chosen to accept the child as his own.

If you are going to dig out someone not coming up to your standards, 17years old SP with twins is nothing to judge against IMHO.

buttertoasty · 09/07/2019 18:40

YANBU they are lazy and obviously not working, so really what role models are they for the child

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