Are they just shit parents?

[Peggytheunicorn]

I am fully prepared to be told I BU
But I have to ask DH nephew is 25 his gf is 23
Both are lazy AF
They live with MIL & FIL
They have an 8 month old DS that came from a one night stand and nobody has questioned the child’s paternity not that it is important to me.
But these two are lazy
They stay in bed till midday Whilst MIL looks after baby they go for weekends away and such whilst baby is with MIL.

I just think that it’s wrong they never ever have their own child ever.

The baby’s mum is so lazy she sleeps in every day when I ask mil why she allows it, she simply says
“Because they are young”
Wtf
I was 17 and raising my twin DS alone in my own flat at that age!
Am I being horrible or am I right in thinking this is not great?

No the situation is not ideal

I think the point is OPs situation was hardly ideal either.

This is one of those ‘MN’ is a parallel universe threads.

Everyone on here, ‘Hey, stop being so jealous / judgemental. It’s great they have so much support’

Real life, ‘That’s a piss take, the lazy fuckers’.

Wow I am genuinely shocked at how horrible some of you are about MY situation.
When I’m asking for views on a separate situation!

So you're inviting people to be horrible about their situation, asking if they're shit parents.

But no-one must be horrible about YOUR situation?

FFS. Classic!

This is one of those ‘MN’ is a parallel universe threads

Yep. This ^

Report your concerns to SS, they are negligent not looking after their own baby.

I can see where you're coming from, and it's not great. I don't think paternity of the child is worth adding though, it just seems bitchy. Plain and simple they do not have any interest in parenting their child. That is sad.

Unfortunately some people cannot (or don't want to) find it in themselves to step up the plate. I can see why MIL does what she does - what is the alternative otherwise? See the poor baby be neglected and suffer?

raising my twin DS alone in my own flat

You clearly wanted us to think you were a SP.

@Peggytheunicorn come on, you threw in the bit about raising your twins alone at 17 just to make us feel sympathy for your past situation and help you heap shit on your DH's nephew when, in fact, you were being slight disingenuous. You knew full well how well that statement would be read.

It's also none of your business.

Benefit really? By never having his parents around?
Where do they go when they get up then if they are never around the baby?

Wow I am genuinely shocked at how horrible some of you are about MY situation.
But it is ok to do that to them?
Go the sisterhood here 😂
Says the one who "didn't question paternity of said child yet said it was from a one night stand"

OP won’t be back

She’s been caught out fibbing

you weren't on your own in your own flat then. You were with your supportive partner who worked hard so you didn't have the financial restraints of a single parent in the flat he rented for you?

The problem with inviting people to judge the lives of others is that, inevitably, yours will come under scrutiny too. Good job you're here to defend yourself unlike the family members you started a thread about.

Go the sisterhood here

Don’t tell me, you’ll be asking MNHQ to delete this thread next news.

God yes, no doubt MNHQ will be spun a yarn about 'privacy concerns'.

But I reckon they’ll do it.

Its not a great situation OP, but it's not really any of your business either. If your MIL doesn't say anything to them then she obviously doesn't mind the situation. IF she does then I think it would be up to your DH to speak with his nephew, find out what their plans are, explain MIL isn't getting any younger etc.

Agree with you OP. If you have the child you should be looking after the child. The point your making is that the mother doesn’t seem to have much interest in her own child. YANBU

Why are you asking what we think?

Are you new here?

I would cut you a bit of slack if by “in my own flat” you meant a flat that you have worked and saved for. But I very much doubt that that’s the case. So as a teenage single mother in a council flat I don’t think you’ve got much right to judge other people.

What a fuckin horrible comment.

This thread is crazy. Mumsnet is getting worse. What a horrible crowd of bitter and twisted harpies there are here.

YANBU OP, they sound absolutely useless. I wouldn't be surprised if there's another baby along soon...after all, the in-laws are making parenting seem easy for them.

What a horrible crowd of bitter and twisted harpies there are here

You including the OP in that statement then? Because I can’t think of any reason why someone would start such a nasty thread about their so called “family”.

I personally don't think you are unreasonable for thinking like this. You can't do anything and saying anything would be unreasonable, but in my opinion you are right. You shouldn't have children to fob them off on someone else, even if it is a relative. The child needs to bond with their parents and it doesn't seem to be getting that opportunity. I personally think this is very sad...but at least MIL is there. Imagine the situation if she wasn't helping?

It really isn't your affair, op, there's nothing you can do about it but I understand your concern. Not about the paternity though, I'd think he and his mum are sure the baby is his, is there any reason to think otherwise and does the dad not work?

At least their child is safe and cared for. Nephew and girlfriend may shape up eventually.

Possibly - but you are definitely a shitty person for being so judgemental!