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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Are they just shit parents?

170 replies

Peggytheunicorn · 09/07/2019 18:19

I am fully prepared to be told I BU
But I have to ask DH nephew is 25 his gf is 23
Both are lazy AF
They live with MIL & FIL
They have an 8 month old DS that came from a one night stand and nobody has questioned the child’s paternity not that it is important to me.
But these two are lazy
They stay in bed till midday Whilst MIL looks after baby they go for weekends away and such whilst baby is with MIL.

I just think that it’s wrong they never ever have their own child ever.

The baby’s mum is so lazy she sleeps in every day when I ask mil why she allows it, she simply says
“Because they are young”
Wtf
I was 17 and raising my twin DS alone in my own flat at that age!
Am I being horrible or am I right in thinking this is not great?

OP posts:
Handsoffmysweets · 09/07/2019 18:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ems137 · 09/07/2019 18:40

I'd feel exactly the same as you. They are taking the piss and it would really wind me up to be honest. The only person that will lose in this scenario is the child. Something will happen, the parents will split up or have to move out and then what will happen? He will be torn away from his primary carer (granny) and be looked after by who? The lazy fuckers who do very little for him and stay in bed til mid day? Do they not work?

PortiaCastis · 09/07/2019 18:42

How did you manage to get your own place at 17 with twins?

SleepingStandingUp · 09/07/2019 18:43

YANBU OP, it clearly isn't good parenting to not bother with your kid, foist him off on your own mother whilst you laze about in bed
I assume they don't work if they're sleeping hours like that?

However it's on his Mum. If she's going to insist on letting it go, it's her call

AyBeeCee10 · 09/07/2019 18:43

They might be lazy but you really are the last person to place any judgement given your history.
Anyway the person at fault here is the MIL because if she didnt allow it then there would be nothing to complain about.

sadbones · 09/07/2019 18:43

Absolutely totally agree with what has been said that Mum and Dad are lazy.
Nan and grandad should be enjoying their great grandson without picking up mum and dad dutys.
Yes they are getting support but by the sounds of it they are absolutely taking the mick!
Try not to let your personal reasons cloud your concerns.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 09/07/2019 18:44

Good point Portia .
Though, saying that, I have seen threads on here where not all councils (if OP was in council housing) have a shortage and waits could have been less (when OP had her twins)than say the South East where I am

Livebythecoast · 09/07/2019 18:44

Your mil says 'they're young'? I wouldn't exactly say that. 17/18 yes but 23 & 25? Maybe mil secretly likes it and if she's not complaining then not much you can do but I hear you!

sadbones · 09/07/2019 18:45

If they are living with in laws and they have space, they are not classed as homeless and will not be priority

Billben · 09/07/2019 18:47

I was 17 and raising my twin DS alone in my own flat at that age!

I would cut you a bit of slack if by “in my own flat” you meant a flat that you have worked and saved for. But I very much doubt that that’s the case. So as a teenage single mother in a council flat I don’t think you’ve got much right to judge other people.

WhatShouldIDo15 · 09/07/2019 18:49

Yeah they should like lazy shit parents and they won't improve if mil keeps picking up their slack

formerbabe · 09/07/2019 18:50

If it's true, then yes, of course it's lazy. Do they not work? If they have childcare on tap like that, then no excuse not to.

Gilbert1A · 09/07/2019 18:52

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Marnie76 · 09/07/2019 18:53

How was it a one night stand if they’re together🤨

formerbabe · 09/07/2019 18:53

They're not that young either. However, if they did feel that they were too young to become parents and weren't ready, they should have...either used contraception, taken emergency contraception or had a termination, not expected someone else to do the hard work for them.

Gilbert1A · 09/07/2019 18:53

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illnever · 09/07/2019 18:55

I agree @Gilbert1A Sad

WorraLiberty · 09/07/2019 18:56

So if some people on the internet say "Yes, they're lazy", what then OP?

Will it make you feel better?

I don't understand what you want from this thread.

NeckPainChairSearch · 09/07/2019 18:59

So as a teenage single mother in a council flat I don’t think you’ve got much right to judge other people

Are you actually serious? Jesus.

YANBU to think that two parents should spend time interacting with their child instead of lying in bed all day if there are no specific reasons for them doing so.

That's not exactly setting the barre sky high, I wouldn't have thought.

This thread has unearthed some seriously unpleasant POV.

MeadowHay · 09/07/2019 18:59

They do sound shit. But you also sound bitter and jealous to be honest. Which is sad. I bet you did a great job and you struggled. But you can't let that make you bitter. And if I were you I would be concerned about the children. It is much better that their grandparents step up and care for them than they end up in care!

Rachie1973 · 09/07/2019 19:00

None of your business.

JingsMahBucket · 09/07/2019 19:00

@Peggytheunicorn YANBU they really are shit parents. I would be concerned for the child's welfare as well.

Amibeingdaft81 · 09/07/2019 19:01

not that it is important to me.

HmmGrin

GreenTulips · 09/07/2019 19:01

They should be working!!!

Who allows this crap to continue? Your MIL!

NeckPainChairSearch · 09/07/2019 19:01

But you also sound bitter and jealous to be honest

Eh? Where does the OP sound 'bitter and jealous'?