Are they just shit parents?

[Peggytheunicorn]

I am fully prepared to be told I BU
But I have to ask DH nephew is 25 his gf is 23
Both are lazy AF
They live with MIL & FIL
They have an 8 month old DS that came from a one night stand and nobody has questioned the child’s paternity not that it is important to me.
But these two are lazy
They stay in bed till midday Whilst MIL looks after baby they go for weekends away and such whilst baby is with MIL.

I just think that it’s wrong they never ever have their own child ever.

The baby’s mum is so lazy she sleeps in every day when I ask mil why she allows it, she simply says
“Because they are young”
Wtf
I was 17 and raising my twin DS alone in my own flat at that age!
Am I being horrible or am I right in thinking this is not great?

They may well be shit parents, but it sounds like a really good thing that someone is there to pick up the slack. Some people really wouldn't do any better if they were left to get on with it (my own sister was like this and her child ended up being neglected when my parents eventually made her leave their house and get her own place).
If the situation is as you say, other people are being taken advantage of, but the child is probably having their needs met. I'd be thankful for that.

Let’s set the record straight it was not a council flat nor was I a SP
my Bf now my DH worked and rented us a flat just like I have worked every day since my kids have been at school so no sorry to disappoint but I have never been reliant on others or councils.
I would never be so judgmental either to ANYONE who needs a council property.
For lots of people they are perhaps one step away from needed that kind of help

I was 17 and raising my twin DS alone in my own flat at that age!
Out of curiosity, how?
How did you afford that?

They sound lazy but it also sounds like PIL want to do this

If your boyfriend (now DH) rented your flat then you weren’t on your own were you?

I know the routine because nephews brother tells us he hears it all from his brother.

Oh well that's Gospel then

You have no idea how much they do with their DC and it's absolutely none of your business unless the child is at risk of harm. You are coming across as quite spiteful.

How were you on your own, raising your dc alone if your boyfriend rented your flat and you were together?

Why are you asking what we think?

I was 17 and raising my twin DS alone in my own flat at that age!

**Let’s set the record straight it was not a council flat nor was I a SP
my Bf now my DH worked and rented us a flat **

Which is it OP?

Why are you asking what we think?

It's AIBU. It works by asking people what they think.

@JoxerGoesToStuttgart yes I was the majority of the time whilst he worked 12 hour shifts plus over time.
Wow I am genuinely shocked at how horrible some of you are about MY situation.
When I’m asking for views on a separate situation!
Go the sisterhood here 😂
Makes me wonder are the ones being shitty to me or about me the ones that emulate the nephew 🤔

Have you written about this before by any chance? But from the perspective of the grandparent or SIL?

Tut tut

Has your mother in law said she is unhappy with the situation and asked for advice about how to change it? If not it's really none of your business really.

my Bf now my DH worked and rented us a flat

You weren't raising them alone then, were you?

Why is it always twins?

yes I was the majority of the time whilst he worked 12 hour shifts plus over time.

That's still not being alone - don't be daft. You had a partner to help you pay the bills and raise your children!

@Amibeingdaft81 well if we are getting in to the semantics;
I was alone most of the time whilst he worked.
But please tell me where I put Alone ALL of the time?

yes I was the majority of the time whilst he worked 12 hour shifts plus over time.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! 😂😂😂

Yes, someone else coming home every evening, someone else working to pay the bills, someone else to lift a baby while you had D&V. Yes, that’s the same as being a single parent. 😂

And people are mentioning your situation because you brought it up!

I was 17 and raising my twin DS alone in my own flat at that age!

Not raising them alone, nor in your own flat.

I think you're getting a bit of an unfair pasting here. No the situation is not ideal, yes they're lazy and shit parents of what you say is true. However if the grandparent is ok with it, at least the child is being looked after

YANBU. They sound lazy AF.

How is pregnant from a one night stand worse than pregnant at 17?

Also why is twins relevant?

I'm with you, had my first at 18, single parent. Yes it wasnt ideal but I put my big girl pants on and sucked it up. If they really NEED the help so be it but it cant be beneficial to never have your parents get up with you in the morning or spend weekends away without you? What about when baby is 5 and can understand?

"What time do you have to get up to be a good parent,"

When the kid does?

Unless of course you've got on tap childcare.

It really is up to all of them though isn't it?

TBF it's probably better for the baby that he has a better, steady influence in his life. Imagine him living on his own with just his parents to care for him.
YANBU but think of it from the baby's point of view.