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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that asking if you can go head with just a few items in the checkout queue is fine?

256 replies

CassianAndor · 09/07/2019 16:44

Following on from another thread, I'm really surprised to find that people think that asking someone with a full trolley if you can nip ahead of them with your 3 items is 'incredibly rude'.

I've had people ask me this and I've let them go ahead no bother.

Sometimes I can see they've only got a few things so I ask them if they want to go ahead as I'll be ages and I'm not in a hurry.

And sometimes I've been the one asking if I could just pay for my pint of milk ahead of their 275 items - and it's never been a problem.

So (and I hope I phrase this right for the voting buttons!) AIBU to think it's fine to ask if you can queue jump someone with a full trolley when you just have a couple of things?

OP posts:
OstrichRunning · 09/07/2019 21:06

I think it's completely fine to ask, if the disparity is obvious. Once someone asked me - I didn't have that much more than him plus I had a crying baby in a sling! didn't let him but I hate saying no to someone so felt bad/awkward. In a CF situation like that, it's definitely unreasonable

PCohle · 09/07/2019 21:16

No it's totally rude. What makes you think your time is more important than the person in front of you? They're not bloody queueing for the fun of it.

I'd only think it was ok if someone had a clear reason for needing be quick e.g. screaming child, saying they were diabetic etc.

Surely the checkout person starts scanning your items whilst you're still unloading the trolley so I don't understand the "I'll be done by the time the person in front has finished unloading" argument at all.

Pasithea · 09/07/2019 21:26

For those interested. There are 4 types of diabetes. 1 2. 3. and gestational

TheLette · 09/07/2019 21:30

I had someone ask when my toddler was getting really tetchy whilst we were waiting. Sharp no from me.

SteelRiver · 09/07/2019 21:30

I don't mind offering to let people go ahead of me, but I'd not be happy if someone expects me to let them go first. I'd say no. I think its rude to expect to be able to queue jump I'm these circumstances. Go and use the self checkout.

Montsti · 09/07/2019 21:34

I would never ask but I often offer...

katseyes7 · 09/07/2019 21:34

l've never asked. But l have offered, and l've had people let me ahead of them.
Conversely, l work in a supermarket. Last week l was on the "10 items or less" till. l had no customers and a lady with about 15 items in her trolley came over. The store was busy, so l put her shopping through. lt would have been silly not to, when l had nothing else to do.
lt does annoy me a bit in Lidl though, when l'm queueing with a basket with four things in it, behind two people doing weekly (or monthly, by the look of it!) shops. l wish they'd have dedicated basket checkouts there.

TellerTuesday4EVA · 09/07/2019 21:35

Do people actually ask?

I've offered many times, and had the offer made to me in the reverse a lot too but I've never had anyone ask me if they can go in front. I would never ask myself either, I'd just wait to be offered & graciously accept.

MirandaWest · 09/07/2019 21:40

I offer when I’m in Aldi and have a trolley full. And sometimes the person in front with a trolley says I can go first when I only have bread and milk.

I wouldn’t ask and I don’t think anyone’s asked me. Would be unlikely to happen in non aldi/Lidl supermarkets due to more checkouts of different types

BlamesFartsOnTheNeighbour · 09/07/2019 21:41

It's not that pint of milk guy's time is more important than full trolley dude's. It's that trolley dude can do a nice thing and save the other guy considerable time at very little cost to themselves. It takes fifteen seconds to pay for a pint of milk. Why would you bother making the guy wait on a matter of principle? Doesn't seem very generous.

OldIrishTERF · 09/07/2019 21:43

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Itellpeopletogoogleit · 09/07/2019 21:44

I always ask, but only in aldi! In other supermarkets there's lots of other tills or self serve available so it's rare to queue for ages. If I've got 1-3 things in aldi and the person in front has filled the conveyor I'll ask if they mind. If someone says no then fair enough, but I'm a believer that if you don't ask then you don't get. I don't care if people think it's cheeky. I always offer if roles are reversed, it's just the decent thing to do.

OldIrishTERF · 09/07/2019 21:46

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Justmuddlingalong · 09/07/2019 21:47

Yes I agree, it's a nice, generous thing to offer someone to go in front of you. But it's also cheeky and presumptuous to ask someone if you can. By offering you are holding up everyone else behind you in the queue too, so it's a fine line. How about if everyone just waited until it was their turn?

Slicedpineapple · 09/07/2019 21:49

The voting options on this one is currently tighter than the referendum!

I think it is ok if they offer but you shouldn't ask they probably also have places to be. You never know, they might have already let somebody go.

Serin · 09/07/2019 21:49

I always let people with baskets go in front but TBH it gets a bit annoying if more and more keep rocking up! All unaware that you have already let several in!
To ask is just rude.

BykerBykerOoh · 09/07/2019 21:50

I ask all the time and people have always said yes. If they said no I would think they were petty and mean.

I would always let someone go in front of me too if they only had a couple of items and I had a trolley load. Really surprised at the responses here. I live in a wee village though where people are generally nice to each other.

underneaththeash · 09/07/2019 21:50

You have to wait until asked.

BlamesFartsOnTheNeighbour · 09/07/2019 21:52

Why do you have to wait to be asked? Why TF is it rude and presumptuous to ask someone to do something nice that barely costs them the minimum of effort?

Snowy81 · 09/07/2019 21:53

I’ve offered so many time I couldn’t even guess. But I’ve never once been asked. Most people que up patiently and I’ll offer for them to go in front. Same as I’m terrible for collecting and not using club are points. Done a £540 shop (Christmas so gifts, clothing etc in there too), asked the lady behind me if she had a club card, she didn’t, so asked the couple on the checkout behind me if they wanted them which they did. There’s enough shit things going on this world, it doesn’t take much to offer a small gesture.

Original poster
CassianAndor · 09/07/2019 21:56

You have to wait until asked.

No, you really don’t.

Anyway, OP here, I’m off to bed so the final tally at this point is, from 1143 votes (which I am astounded about, astounded, I tell you - my first use of the vote buttons!!) 59% think it’s unreasonable to ask against 41% who don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask.

Personally, I’m not persuaded to think there’s anything wrong with asking so I’ll carry on not getting annoyed if anyone does.

Thanks for taking part, all!

OP posts:
headinhands · 09/07/2019 21:56

Only on Mumsnet would that behaviour be seen as incredibly rude. What if someone with a full trolly pushed past to the front? Is that also incredibly rude? What's after incredibly rude.m? Nothing is ever just rude.

lilacrosa · 09/07/2019 21:58

Tbh I encourage people to go ahead of me with a few items when I am doing my Aldi big shop - it gives me some time to put all my shit on the conveyer belt and not feel as much pressure!

YANBU OP!

bingbongnoise · 09/07/2019 22:09

YABU.

bingbongnoise · 09/07/2019 22:09

No, it's cheeky, so YABU. You don't ask. Why do you think your time is more important???

However. having said that; quite often if I HAVE got a fairly full trolley and someone has only got 2-3 items I will let them go first. But NOT if there are 10 items or less checkouts. I will only do it in Lidl and Aldi where all the checkouts are the same.

I would never ever ask. If someone got to the till first, then that's my tough shit.

One time, there was a woman with a trolley with about 35 items in it in front of me, (I had 4 items.) The guy behind me had 3. The woman behind HIM had 4 items too, and asked the woman with the trolley if she could hop in front of her. The woman said 'errrm ok I guess so.....' with a bit of an awkward look. Blush

I said 'err NO actually!' with a Hmm kind of look.

She said 'well SHE said I can go before her so fuck you.' Shock

I said 'NO you don't! You going in front of her results in your pushing in front of me and this gentleman behind me.!' The man behind popped up and said ' yeah I am not happy with it either, wait your turn.'

The woman SHOVED me out of the way, and said 'move! this lady says I can go in front!'

The checkout operator then said (to her) 'I am sorry madam, but you can't push in. Can you stand behind this lady (me) and the gentleman behind her. She still insisted that she was 'allowed,' as the woman with the trolley (in front of me) said she could go in front of her.

She could not compute how and why she would also be pushing in front of two others... (as well as the woman with the trolley who she had asked.) When the checkout operator stood her ground and wouldn't serve her, she called the checkout operator a stupid cunt and stormed off out of the shop.

Silly bint.

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