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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that asking if you can go head with just a few items in the checkout queue is fine?

256 replies

CassianAndor · 09/07/2019 16:44

Following on from another thread, I'm really surprised to find that people think that asking someone with a full trolley if you can nip ahead of them with your 3 items is 'incredibly rude'.

I've had people ask me this and I've let them go ahead no bother.

Sometimes I can see they've only got a few things so I ask them if they want to go ahead as I'll be ages and I'm not in a hurry.

And sometimes I've been the one asking if I could just pay for my pint of milk ahead of their 275 items - and it's never been a problem.

So (and I hope I phrase this right for the voting buttons!) AIBU to think it's fine to ask if you can queue jump someone with a full trolley when you just have a couple of things?

OP posts:
DontPressSendTooSoon · 09/07/2019 18:27

What is rude is the person in front of you letting their wife push in front with a full basket when you already have stuff on the conveyor belt travelling towards the checkout person!

Happened to me and I got shouted at when I dared to say something.

As for the OP's question, I wouldn't ask myself, it's not incredibly rude but I'd be thinking there's a kiosk/basket queue for that!

TomHagenMakesMyBosomTremble · 09/07/2019 18:30

If it's offered, it's fine. If you ask, it's usually quite cheeky.

LovelyJubblee · 09/07/2019 18:30

If someone offers yes but to ask is just rude

BlamesFartsOnTheNeighbour · 09/07/2019 18:34

How on earth is it rude to ask someone a small favour that will cost them practically nothing? If you're such a wimp you can't say no if it's really inconvenient, then you need to work on that.

origamiunicorn · 09/07/2019 18:34

No it's rude. They got there before you. Why should everyone with fewer items than you just move out the way even though got there after them.

I generally offer but if someone asked I would think they were a bit entitled to be honest.

HJWT · 09/07/2019 18:35

I think it depends, if the person has finished unloading there trolly it is 100% rude if they have just started then no its not rude...

HJWT · 09/07/2019 18:37

@LadyOfTheCanyon Type 1, Type 2 and gestational.

makingmammaries · 09/07/2019 18:38

Must say, it annoys me. Here in France people are forever asking, usually halfway to putting their items on the conveyor as they do. Often my trolley contains 5 or 6 big items, they have 5 or 6 small items. Or, worse, they have 37 items squirreled away in their handbag. I’m buying for a whole family and my time is precious. Sometimes I fantasize about making my 5 kids queue up and pay for 1/5 of the shopping each to get rid of the prospective queue jumpers.

origamiunicorn · 09/07/2019 18:38

I think it’s cheeky. If someone asked me I’d let them do it but inside I’d be thinking “you cheeky fucker”.

I wouldn't 😂 Sorry I got there first, why is my time less important than theirs. There is always going to be someone down the line with fewer items than you, you'd always be letting people Infront and you'd get nowhere, where does it stop? 😆

TheSharkInTheDark · 09/07/2019 18:41

I will preface this by saying that always do usually offer if I see someone with a few items! I once let 3 people go in front of me because I had so much stuff.

However, a few weeks ago I unpacking my trolley when this very rude woman just tutted at me and picked up her few items that she had already slammed on the conveyer belt not leaving me enough space for my stuff, and said very abruptly that she wasn't waiting for me and was going first, which would have been fine had I actually offered and had she not been so rude about it, as I was still unpacking. The man behind her obviously thought it was a free for all and did the same, and was like oh sorry is this ok, I ended up finishing unpacking and having to wait for him to pack and pay and said it was a bit too late to be asking, and he looked a bit perplexed. Again today in the same shop I had a man behind telling his wife to go in front of me as they only had 2 things. I only had 5 things myself. And there were still 2 women in front of my with probably the same amount or less items, so I didn't offer her to go in front and just ignored him. And his wife clearly thought he was being a CF as she waited behind me.

It's like some people think their time is more important that they shouldn't have to wait on a que just because they have less stuff. It's not a free pass to que jump.

Lola999 · 09/07/2019 18:51

Very rude, presumptuous & cheeky to ask.
And I say that as someone who will ALWAYS offer. But I'd be annoyed if someone asked could they queue jump in front of me

Original poster
CassianAndor · 09/07/2019 18:53

I’ll admit to skim reading my own thread (I’m only really interested in the vote, if I’m being honest Grin) so I’m boggled as to how diabetes has got into this discussion.

I agree with a PP that often someone can nip in front and be paid and gone while you’re still unloading your trolley, which is why it’s really no skin off my nose.

The social niceties is a valid one, I agree, it’s just not one that’s ever bothered me personally.

I’d be interested in how many of the ‘it’s rude to ask as you can’t easily say “no”’ crowd ask visitors to remove their shoes. Because for me that’s also a request (aka order) to which the answer ‘no’ isn’t deemed acceptable...

OP posts:
Dodahdodah · 09/07/2019 18:56

How on earth is it rude to ask someone a small favour that will cost them practically nothing?

How is it a favour? I see it as jumping the queue. My time is just as valuable as theirs.

Anyway, in my usual supermarket there are plenty of self-service tills and tills just for a basket.

blackteasplease · 09/07/2019 18:56

Yeah k think yabu.

1vandal2 · 09/07/2019 18:56

Because there is always another till they can go to or the cigarette kiosk where most supermarkets have moved their only a few item tills or direct people to them as such or self checkouts with attendants that are perfectly happy to guide the inexperience through it yabu

bananasandwicheseveryday · 09/07/2019 18:59

Years ago, before the advent of Aldi, Lidl etc, Asda was considered a 'cheap' shop. It was the only supermarket where we lived and Dh and I used to shop monthly. So, there we were, shopping unloaded onto the conveyor belt when the checkout assistant decided to call forward the person behind us and served them ahead of us. There was no queue behind us, apart from that customer as it was almost closing time (they closed at 8pm on Fridays back then). DH and I looked at each other and virtually in unison, said ' I've changed my mind ' and left the shopping there and walked out. We got fish and chips for tea and found a different supermarket, to use in future. Never used Asda since.
Yes, I do think it's rude to ask, but I think it far ruder to queue jump without asking!

AlwaysSkint · 09/07/2019 19:00

@LadyOfTheCanyon yes it's insulin resistance in the brain.

timeforakinderworld · 09/07/2019 19:01

Actually research shows that being asked to do a favour for someone usually makes them happier. So by asking you are actually doing them a favour!

EmpressJewel · 09/07/2019 19:01

Queue jumpers are a pet peeve of mine and I have had a couple of requests;

Example 1
Man asks if he can go ahead of me because he has fewer items (he has about 4 and I had 10). I said no, as I only had a few more items than he did.

Example 2
Man asks if he can go ahead with his pint of milk. I said okay and then he runs off and comes back with about 5 other items. I move his stuff back and told him he was a CF. Sadly, the people ahead of me let him push ahead of them.

Example 3
I let someone go ahead of me with a few items, but they were extremely slow and faffy at the till and took ages. Really annoyed me.

AlwaysSkint · 09/07/2019 19:03

@HJWT type 3 is not gestational

Ledkr · 09/07/2019 19:04

I don't mind letting people go In front but where do you draw the line?.you could be there all day letting people go through.
In out local.lidl there are mostly self checkouts but way to small for a big load to go through.
There's normally at least one big till open but people stand behind you with a packet of ginger nuts whilst the self serve are empty
I do let a few go but can't stand there forever when they could go to the self service.

KarmaStar · 09/07/2019 19:07

I will always offer(just did😀),happy to be asked also.
But would never ask myself!🙊

BlamesFartsOnTheNeighbour · 09/07/2019 19:11

How is it a favour?

What else is asking someone to do something small and kind, that puts them at no inconvenience and they're under no obligation to accept? Shitting in their trolley if they say no would be rude, but a quick "would you mind terribly?" no way.

Biancadelrioisback · 09/07/2019 19:13

Weekly occurance for us! It has never entered my head to not let someone nip in front. Half the time I'm paying attention to my 2yo to notice them so if they don't ask, I wouldn't notice. Even the staff on the till will ask on their behalf if they don't.

But there is a phrase round here "shy bairns get nowt" which most of this city seem to live by.

origamiunicorn · 09/07/2019 19:21

Ugh these stories of entitled people on here is why I either get groceries delivered or go to the self scan. Most of these types of entitled people I find bemoan such technology, so I'm safe there 🤣

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