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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that asking if you can go head with just a few items in the checkout queue is fine?

256 replies

CassianAndor · 09/07/2019 16:44

Following on from another thread, I'm really surprised to find that people think that asking someone with a full trolley if you can nip ahead of them with your 3 items is 'incredibly rude'.

I've had people ask me this and I've let them go ahead no bother.

Sometimes I can see they've only got a few things so I ask them if they want to go ahead as I'll be ages and I'm not in a hurry.

And sometimes I've been the one asking if I could just pay for my pint of milk ahead of their 275 items - and it's never been a problem.

So (and I hope I phrase this right for the voting buttons!) AIBU to think it's fine to ask if you can queue jump someone with a full trolley when you just have a couple of things?

OP posts:
TwistyTop · 10/07/2019 02:34

YABU. Wait to be offered. If they don't offer that means it isn't ok (perhaps they are really in a hurry?), so don't be so cheeky as to ask if you can push in front of them in the queue.

I will always offer unless I'm in a rush. If I'm in a rush I won't offer and if you asked me I would say no, and I would think you rude to ask.

Tavannach · 10/07/2019 02:35

If someone asks I just let them go in front. I'd get annoyed if it turned out they were paying in pennies, but otherwise I don't care. I just assume they're in a hurry. I'd never ask but people often offer and I accept.

lboogy · 10/07/2019 03:27

I had a woman ask if she could go ahead of me. We both had one item each. When I said no, she started shouting at me. My DH turned up from some corner of the shop to defend me. Some random dude then turned up to defend the woman, I guess he assumed I was the aggressor 🙄

Anyway, if I have loads of shopping and the other person has one or two items, I'd let them ahead of me. I wouldn't ask if it was me though

Seahawk80 · 10/07/2019 04:13

I offer if I'm not in a rush but last tine I was in Aldi with my 18 month old 3 people asked to go in front of me! I said yes to the first but had to say no to the others, I was obviously struggling to keep him happy in the trolley while we waited and I thought it was really cheeky to ask!

ImpracticalCape · 10/07/2019 07:43

Isn't that what the 10 items or fewer lines are for or the express or self checkouts? I haven't been a supermarket that doesn't have them.
In which case the two tins of beans person wanting to cut in front of a big trolley is considering themselves too important to stand in that line to your disadvantage.

Original poster
CassianAndor · 10/07/2019 07:50

PC i wasn't actually jnteredted in anyone's reasoning, though it's been an interesting poke into people's mindset, I just wanted to see what the vote was - I wouldn't have posted if the vote feature hasn't been there.

It doesn't annoy me, I was surprised on another thread that people thought it was rude.

OP posts:
Original poster
CassianAndor · 10/07/2019 07:53

PC I'm surprised that you think I should change my mind and decide that people are being rude when they ask this. I should start getting cross about something that doesn't bother me because some MNers do? And it's hardly a resounding YABU, is it?

OP posts:
ImpracticalCape · 10/07/2019 07:55

Years ago I allowed someone with a litre of milk and a loud toddler in front of me when I was waiting with an unloaded trolley on the belt. She looked desperate. How long can a litre of milk take to pay for? 10 seconds? Of course, go ahead.

No it took a fucking eternity. She disputed the price, a supervisor needed to be called who then had to shuffle off half a mile away to look at the shelf tag. Then protracted negotiations occurred regarding the misleading price tag and a cheaper replacement bottle sought, again from half a mile away. Then she allowed the toddler to pay in individual coins.

So now when I get asked I give them the side eye and direct them to the 'purposely created for this eventuality' express till.

MaryPopppins · 10/07/2019 07:57

I think it's rude to ask.

Even in Aldi/Lidl.

I do offer. But I wouldn't ask.

All of the Aldi/Lidl's near me are in very close proximity to other supermarkets which never have queues.

So if it's a quick bread/milk I will go to Tesco Express etc instead as I know I'll be stood in a queue in Aldi.

I need that meme

"One doesn't simply

Pop into Aldi for a quick shop"

MLMhun · 10/07/2019 07:59

@stinkyhedgehog always keep your trolley at the back of the checkout belt, not at the side of it while unloading and it won’t happen again.

Grapeyes · 10/07/2019 08:00

I wouldn’t ask unless I was in a desperate hurry but mostly I find people offer. I had two things the other day and a heavily pregnant woman with her toddler asked if I would like to go ahead of her (she had a trolley full) - I did and we had a lovely chat about the new baby, being pregnant in the heat and the difficulties pushing a full trolley at that stage of pregnancy! I left smiling and she was too.

BlamesFartsOnTheNeighbour · 10/07/2019 08:06

I seriously don't get the "their time is more important than mine" thing. Waiting fifteen seconds to do a five-minute task is hardly the same as waiting five minutes to do a fifteen-second task is it?

KatherineJaneway · 10/07/2019 08:09

People are also assuming that those with only a few items will be quick. Not necessarily so in my experience. Plenty of faffers about.

arseabouttit · 10/07/2019 10:21

I don't mind this although I would probably never do it (never say never). I feel rather benevolent and smug at my own good naturedness and tolerance if I let someone jump ahead. What I do mind is the person behind shoving their trolley into you while you pay on the chip and pin or standing right on top of you while you do it if they don't have a trolley. Breathing down my neck won't make me pay faster - now that does give me the rageAngryGrin.

Pinktinker · 10/07/2019 10:23

I have offered and also been asked before, always been fine except the one time the person I let go in front of me massively held me and everyone else up. Something was wrong with one of his ‘three items’ and it took the checkout person forever to sort then his card declined and he had to find another one. I was pretty annoyed to say the least.

TheVelvetOnion · 10/07/2019 10:37

I wouldn't ask but only because I'd be too scared they were ignorant sods and say no to me. I always offer though because I'm a nice person Grin

Aldi and Lidl really need to get self serve checkouts as it's only in these shops it ever happens to me Angry

PCohle · 10/07/2019 10:43

OP I wasn't expecting you to magically start finding it irritating when other people ask you.

But I do think it would be odd to keep on doing it yourself knowing that the majority of people you ask think it's rude of you. I mean obviously if you don't care what people think then fine, but why bother asking on MN if that's the case?

LadyRannaldini · 10/07/2019 10:46

If we only have a few items I always send OH into the queue, he's almost always sent to the front!!
I recall queing for the loo somewhere, a woman came in and asked if she could jump the queue, her train was due. One older woman said How odd, the station closed years ago!

Original poster
CassianAndor · 10/07/2019 11:56

PC it's not that much of a majority, though, is it? So if I did do it, I've got a fairly good chance the person ahead wouldn't mind.

If it was 95% IABU I might change my mind. but it isn't, nowhere near. And I'm certainly not going to start getting annoyed with anyone for asking just cos a slim majority of a tiny fraction of MNers said so.

I was just interested to see how the vote would come out. If there had been the option for just a vote and no comments I would have gone for that. But I wouldn't have bothered without the vote function.

OP posts:
PCohle · 10/07/2019 12:05

So if I did do it, I've got a fairly good chance the person ahead wouldn't mind.

That seems an odd way of looking at the figures to me. The person you ask is more likely than not going to think you're being rude. But clearly that doesn't bother you, so crack on.

Original poster
CassianAndor · 10/07/2019 12:08

I will Grin

OP posts:
Wixi · 10/07/2019 12:21

YABU. Why do you think your time is more important than the person you want to "queue jump"? I often have to buy stuff for work for meetings, so will have a basket or trolley, but have a deadline when I need to be in the office. Whether you have a trolley full or just 2 items does not make your time more important than mine.

SamStephens · 10/07/2019 12:29

I don’t think it’s rude to ask - don’t ask don’t get - and all that. I think people’s response to a decline can be rude.

I’ve had people offer and usher me ahead of them when I’ve only got 1-2 items and I’ve always asked if they’re sure and thanked them profusely. If someone asks me and I have the time I don’t mind.

However I’ve also been asked and had to say no I’m in a rush (needed to pick DC up from daycare in the next 20 mins without copping a late fine) and had people go ballistic. They can go fuck themselves.

Kidworries · 10/07/2019 13:40

I always offer unless my kids are messing about. Never ask

LadyWithLapdog · 10/07/2019 14:50

Isn’t it funny how we think it’s for our fellow shoppers to be understanding whilst the supermarket gets away with saving money by not employing enough staff.

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