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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that asking if you can go head with just a few items in the checkout queue is fine?

256 replies

CassianAndor · 09/07/2019 16:44

Following on from another thread, I'm really surprised to find that people think that asking someone with a full trolley if you can nip ahead of them with your 3 items is 'incredibly rude'.

I've had people ask me this and I've let them go ahead no bother.

Sometimes I can see they've only got a few things so I ask them if they want to go ahead as I'll be ages and I'm not in a hurry.

And sometimes I've been the one asking if I could just pay for my pint of milk ahead of their 275 items - and it's never been a problem.

So (and I hope I phrase this right for the voting buttons!) AIBU to think it's fine to ask if you can queue jump someone with a full trolley when you just have a couple of things?

OP posts:
KatherineJaneway · 09/07/2019 17:03

It depends for me. If you asked and I was in a bog standard supermarket I'd think you should go to the basket or self service tills tbh. However if I spotted you and I wasn't in a rush I would probably offer for you to go first.

I was in a pound shop buying 3 items and I was asked by the person behind me if she could go first as she had only one item Confused I said no and gave her my best wtf look Hmm She looked most put out.

florriepeck · 09/07/2019 17:03

If there are other people in the queue behind you, they are being held up as well.

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 09/07/2019 17:04

All the people who say it’s rude to ask, do you get a kick out of making people wait behind you with their wee ton of beans?

If I’ve got a trolley full of shopping, I can’t imagine the scenario where I’d feel put out about letting someone with a handful of items go ahead. It may add a couple of minutes onto my shop (rarely critical) but could save them considerably more hanging around while I load/pack all my stuff.

This is one of those MN things that just leaves me Confused

Laiste · 09/07/2019 17:04

It's close. 53% saying it's rude to ask.

I think it's rude to ask as well. Just because you've got a lot of shopping doesn't mean you're not in a hurry yourself!

SushiForAmateurs · 09/07/2019 17:04

If you only have a few things go to the express lane, use the self serve.or choose your checkout more carefully. If you only have a couple things why would you get in line be behind someone with a massive trolley load anyway?

Exactly.

Why queue behind someone with 175 items, and then ask to go in front of them? Confused

SerendipityJane · 09/07/2019 17:04

Is there not a subtle difference (since it's not been mentioned so far) between someone coming into a queue from nowhere (so yes, basically queue jumping) and someone in a queue asking to swap places with the person in front ? The latter scenario meaning that no one apart from the person giving up their spot in the queue waits any longer overall ?

Sorryisntgoodenough · 09/07/2019 17:06

It isn’t something I would ever ask to do but I always tell people to go in front of me if I see them. However it does make me bristle slightly if they ask before I’ve offered, no idea why as I would be letting them go anyway Confused

SerendipityJane · 09/07/2019 17:06

...although when it comes to queues, my personal bugbear is to be queuing for a while, have the supervisors open the checkout next to me, and then invite the person behind me to go first.

Angry
CloserIAm2Fine · 09/07/2019 17:06

I think it’s really rude to ask

If you’re offered then fair enough but asking is cheeky

Laiste · 09/07/2019 17:07

Would it be ok to do this at a petrol station?

''I only need a fivers worth. Let me go first yeah?''

CrunchTime0 · 09/07/2019 17:07

Don’t see a problem with it.

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 09/07/2019 17:07

*tin of beans

A ton of beans would be a different matter

AnxietyDream · 09/07/2019 17:07

If there's a genuine reason you have to hurry it's acceptable to ask with profuse apologies and accept the answer graciously. Asking 'just because' is rude, you wait to be offered.

SushiForAmateurs · 09/07/2019 17:07

All the people who say it’s rude to ask, do you get a kick out of making people wait behind you with their wee ton of beans?

They can easily take themselves, and their wee tin of beans, to the express or self-service check-out.

In any case, I think most people would offer (unless they're in a rush).

But the onus is also on the person with one item to have a bit of cop on about them, and maybe not choose to queue behind someone with a massive trolley load?

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2019 17:08

Fine in Aldi/Lidl. Bad form in the other supermarkets

Why? At least Aldi is quick. Waitrose is like watching paint dry, "oh Mrs Smith, how's the hip?" "and little Jimmy, how's he doing" I am incandescent by item 3. Bloody Wait rose is right.

Cloudtree · 09/07/2019 17:08

I offer all the time but I would never ask. Its rude.

HippyTrails · 09/07/2019 17:10

100% not, it is rude - why is your time any more important than mine & vice versa

Justmuddlingalong · 09/07/2019 17:11

I'll offer. But if I'm asked before I've offered, I'll refuse. But then I'm a petty bitch sometimes. 😠

SilverySurfer · 09/07/2019 17:12

No, I don't think it's fine to ask, if you're in such a rush go to the self service section. Totally different if the person offers as I have done, many times.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 09/07/2019 17:12

I'd never ask.

A couple of times someone's let me ahead and I've done the same to other people but I'd never just ask.

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 09/07/2019 17:13

My local Aldi/Lidl doesn’t have self service or express checkouts, and therefore it’s the only place I’ve experienced the ‘could I go first?’ phenomenon.

All the ‘you must wait behind me’ people, would you make sure you got on the bus ahead of an elderly/infirm person because, well, YOU were there first?

brightfutureahead · 09/07/2019 17:14

I wouldn’t ask because knowing my luck I’d be asking someone who is vehemently against it and get an earful from them. Not worth the hassle.

But if someone asked me I’d be happy to let them in front if they only had a couple of items.

It’s not rude to ask. But again, I wouldn’t ask because I can’t be doing with grumpy people Smile

NailsNeedDoing · 09/07/2019 17:14

I offer if I'm the person with loads, but I would find it rude to be asked.

The person with lots might already have offered for someone else to go first, or they might want to be done as quickly as possible too. This is what self service and express checkouts are for.

DGRossetti · 09/07/2019 17:15

Does anyone remember the Jack Dee take on this years ago ?

He's there with his weeks worth of shopping on the belt, a customer comes up behind with a pint of milk and begging expression ....

Jack: Is that all you've got ?
Customer: (hopes rising) Yes
Jack: Well you'd better fuck off now, I'm going to be ages ...

Grin
LadyWithLapdog · 09/07/2019 17:16

Please don’t go ahead of me. I know that your card will be declined, the wrong barcode is entered, you change your mind and want something else that needs getting by a staff member from an obscure isle, the paper runs out, the shift changes. And I’ll be left smiling through gritted teeth and berating myself for my stupidity 🤣

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