to think that asking if you can go head with just a few items in the checkout queue is fine?

[CassianAndor]

Following on from another thread, I'm really surprised to find that people think that asking someone with a full trolley if you can nip ahead of them with your 3 items is 'incredibly rude'.

I've had people ask me this and I've let them go ahead no bother.

Sometimes I can see they've only got a few things so I ask them if they want to go ahead as I'll be ages and I'm not in a hurry.

And sometimes I've been the one asking if I could just pay for my pint of milk ahead of their 275 items - and it's never been a problem.

So (and I hope I phrase this right for the voting buttons!) AIBU to think it's fine to ask if you can queue jump someone with a full trolley when you just have a couple of things?

This happened to me this morning in Aldi. I had a basket of shopping so not much. A guy with two cartons of fruit juice asked if he could go before me because he was running late for a funeral, of course I let him go in front and he thanked me profoundly but if it was anyone else I'd tell them to jog on.

I'm perfectly happy for people to ask me and to offer. I'm more than happy to say No, I'm in a rush too, if indeed I am.

A couple of months ago I witnessed the worst bitchiness and unnecessary drama I've ever seen over this in Lidl. Having already heard a loud blow by blow account of what this woman and her mate were buying. "HERE SHAZZA I'M GONNA GET SOME CHEESE FOR THE KIDS IT'S ONLY 75P" type of thing. Get to the checkouts at the same time as them and chav's mate Shazza queues perfectly normally. Chav decides loudly that waiting this long is shit and asks another woman if she can go in front. Other woman says no and chav makes those childish "eeeeeeewww alright then Jesus see if I care" noises and loudly proclaims a few times (because inevitably there's a problem with both tills being slow and waiting for a manager to fix it) to everyone how much she "DON'T CARE LUV I'VE ONLY GOT A FEW FINGS MISERABLE BITCH AINT SHE A MISERABLE BITCH" and tries to make eye contact with other shoppers as if we were all on her side we all avoided her gaze like true wimpy Brits. it's all quiet for 10 seconds and then the lady who said no says "I'm sorry I can't handle this" and strops off out, pushing over the coffee display on the way, tins of Azera everywhere! 😯 cue more "OOH WHAT A DRAMA QUEEN QUICK MOVE HER STUFF AND TAKE HER PLACE SHAZZA" peacocking from Chav. Anyway, somebody behind strop out lady's stuff stops them, she comes back, and everybody is served and leaves the store without further ado.

It was... entertaining, I guess...

Teddy some diabetes is not easily controlled. I have type three which can be very unpredictable.

Super annoying when someone asks. You feel like you should say yes but actually you've been in the shop ages with bored kids. That's what self scan is for!! What if everyone with 1-2 items asked to go in front, I'd never get out!! I do offer esp at shops with no self scan but hate being asked

If someone asked me and said "my bus is about to come" and they had one or two items and their money ready, of course I'd let them through before me in a small corner shop. Supermarkets, even smaller ones, have self-service and baskets only lines for a reason. Use them if you haven't time to wait on folks with trolleys.

poorly managed diabetes needs long term medical treatment and education. No amount of queue jumping will help you.

At least she learnt her lesson by vomiting and passing out in front of an audience, right @Teddybear45 ?

Jeeez....

For those saying use the self service checkouts, that's not always fast moving.I can't be the only person who has gone to self serve only to find some knob with a trolley.
The 10 items or fewer till doesn't seen to exist any more either. Yanbu OP

Except Aldi. I've just remembered that Aldi doesn't. Oh well, in that case, I would let someone through sometimes, but not if I'm in a hurry too. Sometimes you just have to wait.

Why is it rude to ASK? You can always say no.

Because you must partake in the complex dance of social niceties.

It’s a bit like the people who say they would give money as a wedding gift, but only as long as they haven’t been asked to do so

I always let in people who only have a few items. I wouldn't find it cheeky if someone asked to go before me but I wouldn't be the one to ask someone to let me go first in case they thought I was a CF.

I always offer but I’ve never been asked.

YABU - surely that's what the fast checkout is for?

@Pasithea - poorly managed diabetes needs long term medical treatment and education. No amount of queue jumping will help you.

Wow. I take it you haven’t got diabetes or a diabetic loved one, Teddy

Well lucky you. The type of scenario Pasithea describes typically arises from someone who is trying their best to manage their blood sugars.

I’m sure you were probably trying to be goady, but fucking hell you’re a twat

There is a queuing system. Don't be so rude as to think you can jump ahead unless someone offers

I think it's rude to ask. Even if I'm not running late for something, I don't particularly enjoy wasting more of my own time waiting for someone else to check out, when I was there before them.

That said, I've let people go ahead of me before, if I noticed they had just one or two items-- but these days, in the places I shop, there are so many self-service checkouts that it hasn't come up in years.

No accept if offered but don't ask unless real need... Screaming child, they need toilet urgently or alike.
Only time I asked was because son had thrown up on a car journey (everywhere) so had popped to shop for paper towels and cleaning stuff. Member of staff overheard and opened a till for me.
So kind

It’s cheeky. If I wanted to give you my place in the line, I would offer.

I would only ask if absolutely necessary. Most of the time if I see someone with a monthly shop walking towards a checkout and I've just got a milk and a bag of crisps I will walk swiftly ahead of them to make it to the till before them.

As for the "you can always say 'no'" argument, it's awkward and puts the other person on the spot. It's one thing if someone's rushing home to tend to a sick child or something, but most of the time, it's nothing of the sort. They just don't want to wait, because it's boring. Well, no-one likes waiting!

Having a few items doesn't make your time more valuable than that of the person with a full basket. If anything, the person who's done the big shop is probably the more desperate to get out of the shop, because s/he's been standing/walking a long time, while the person with two items has been able to just dash in and out.

Sounds like next time I only need one thing I need to queue behind someone with a full trolley so it's my right to go ahead of them!

If it's Aldi or Lidl where there's no '10 items or fewer' till, then I'm a lot more understanding of it.

In a traditional supermarket, though, just go to that queue or to the self service machines.

I once had a man barge in front of me when I didn't even have an exceptionally large shop. (No, I didn't say anything, yes, I should have done, and I would if it happened again)

No don’t ask, you can’t say no. So your effectively saying “I’m going in front of you as my time is more important than yours”

I will offer when I can (although hugging and puffing behind me will not adhere me to letting you) but asking is equivalent to telling.

I am always the one with the big trolley and if I spot someone behind me with a few bits I always ask them if they'd like to go in front. But I think if you're the one with the few bits it is incredibly rude to ask and I would never do so.
One example that made me fume was in Aldi- about two years ago but I'm still seething now, thinking back on it! I'm loading a full week's shopping for a family of 5 adults on to the conveyor and spot someone with "a few bits" so naturally invite them to go in front. A couple of minutes later, just as I've come to the bottom of my trolley there's someone else there with "a few bits" so again I offer, and in front they go. At which point a middle aged man turns up, sees me letting someone in front and asks if he can go in front too.
No. No you can't. Because now I'm clearly ready and waiting for my turn. I've finished unpacking. I'm already putting myself out and delaying myself once and you think it is reasonable to expect me to double the delay just so you don't have to wait in a queue you arrived at a clear 5 minutes after me. In fact, you were probably entering the shop when I started bloody queuing.

Well that's what my head said. My mouth of course, was better brought up and let the bastard in front. Still seething. I'm. Still. Seething.
So yes OP, I'm sorry to say that asking to go in front is very very rude and unreasonable. Because you are asking someone who has arrived somewhere legitimately before you to stand aside and put themselves out and delay themselves just because you can't be bothered to wait. And in most cases they'll really be offended by you asking and will really want to tell you where to stick it but will be too polite to say no.

There are THREE types of diabetes? Every day's a school day.

I nearly posted about this a few weeks ago.
I had a basket full and an old guy with a single pint of milk walked up behind me, so I told him to go ahead.
Middle aged woman behind him gives me sad face, only has 2 items so I also tell her to go ahead (but I’ve lost patience)
Then middle aged woman behind her asks if she can go ahead - she’s got the same amount of bloody stuff I had. Sad no, she then starts tutting loudly.
Should have said ‘are you fucking kidding me’.