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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that asking if you can go head with just a few items in the checkout queue is fine?

256 replies

CassianAndor · 09/07/2019 16:44

Following on from another thread, I'm really surprised to find that people think that asking someone with a full trolley if you can nip ahead of them with your 3 items is 'incredibly rude'.

I've had people ask me this and I've let them go ahead no bother.

Sometimes I can see they've only got a few things so I ask them if they want to go ahead as I'll be ages and I'm not in a hurry.

And sometimes I've been the one asking if I could just pay for my pint of milk ahead of their 275 items - and it's never been a problem.

So (and I hope I phrase this right for the voting buttons!) AIBU to think it's fine to ask if you can queue jump someone with a full trolley when you just have a couple of things?

OP posts:
RB68 · 09/07/2019 17:27

wait to be offered or use the basket line if there is one

TroubleWithNargles · 09/07/2019 17:28

If I'm standing there with a groaning trolley and the person behind me has a pint of milk and some raspberries (other comestibles are available) then I'd offer for them to go in front of me.

It is also really nice if someone sees you aren't buying much and asks you if you would like to go first.

A bit of kindness brightens everyone's day.

timeforakinderworld · 09/07/2019 17:29

Why is it rude to ASK? You can always say no.

LadyWithLapdog · 09/07/2019 17:30

Yes, paying is the lengthy bit. So 4 people with a couple of items can take as long as a full trolley which gets scanned through very quickly, especially in Lidl.

MummytoCSJH · 09/07/2019 17:31

It's okay to accept if offered, but it would be rude to ask.

Sandybval · 09/07/2019 17:33

I usually offer if I can someone behind just has a few items, no one has asked me before but as long as they were polite I would. The only instance I have said no is when the supermarket was heaving, and I really needed a wee- but I had my bags ready to go and card ready to pay so went through fairly quickly.

LeglessGiraffe · 09/07/2019 17:34

I would never ask, as I would feel too cheeky - you can't tell whether other people are pressed for time and I wouldn't want to put them in the awkward position of saying no.
But I do always check behind me and offer to let other customers in front of me if they only have a few items.

BornInAThunderstorm · 09/07/2019 17:34

Hmm I’m torn as I’ll often offer if someone with a couple of items appears behind me, but the last time someone asked if they could push in at Aldi because they only had a few bits another person popped up and asked to go ahead too, she was clutching a basket full of stuff. I said no and she looked like I’d pissed on her chips.

I agree with PP that if I’ve queued then it’s my turn, why is my time worth less than anyone elses?

GleefulGlitch · 09/07/2019 17:35

Why is it rude to ASK? You can always say no.

Because some people struggle to say no. It makes them feel awkward so by asking you are putting some people in what they feel is an impossible situation. You wanting something from them that is only benefitting yourself simply because you don't want to wait. That's rude.

NailsNeedDoing · 09/07/2019 17:36

It's rude to ask because you're putting someone else in a position that they might find difficult. Some people don't want to have to say no to strangers asking for a favour, and would say yes even if it inconveniences them. People shouldn't ask if they can inconvenience someone else whose circumstances they know nothing of just to benefit themselves by a few minutes. It's selfish.

If people aren't bothered about letting someone else in front of them, they will offer. It's a bonus if it happens, it's not something that should be expected.

sue51 · 09/07/2019 17:37

I would never ask but I would invite someone to go ahead if they only had a couple of items.

Mammalian · 09/07/2019 17:37

No I don't think people should ask.. what if the next person feels the same and the one after that? The person with the trolley will be left standing there all day

edgen2019 · 09/07/2019 17:38

If someone is behind me with only a few items to pay and I have a full trolley I usually ask if they would like to go first, but I would never ask to queue jump myself, would consider that inappropriate. But then I am "old school"!

Teddybear45 · 09/07/2019 17:39

I don’t ask and don’t offer. My time is not more or less important than anyone else’s

Chouetted · 09/07/2019 17:42

Shoot me, but I use public transport, frequency of once an hour, so I do very occasionally ask if time is going badly - I stand to gain a lot more if they say yes than if they say no.

Most people with very large loads are driving. I don't think anyone's ever said anything other than "oh gosh, yes of course you can". Sometimes it also prompts the cashier to stop chatting to the previous customer as well...

Pasithea · 09/07/2019 17:44

I’m diabetic asked to jump the queue with a bottle of lucozade. Was told no so while waiting I threw up and collapsed. Everyone had to move to another queue.

Chouetted · 09/07/2019 17:47

@pasithea Next time just drink the lucosade... I got gently but firmly told off by a checkout lady once for standing in the queue sneezing madly while waiting to buy a box of tissues instead of just opening the packet and using one.

UnaCorda · 09/07/2019 17:48

I don't think it's rude to ask, especially if you can have paid and left before they've even finished unpacking the contents of their trolley on to the conveyor belt. With cash or contactless we're talking seconds, really.

TooMuch87 · 09/07/2019 17:49

If there's only one person in front of you who's in the process of unloading a big trolley, and if therefore the checkout assistant is sitting there doing nothing, then I would ask if I could go ahead. Because by the time I'd put my two items through and paid, the person would still be unloading, so I wouldn't have slowed them down at all.

If however the person ahead had already unloaded their shopping and was waiting to be served, I wouldn't feel comfortable asking to queue jump. I do think it would be a little rude to ask in those circumstances.

FancyACarrot · 09/07/2019 17:49

I would look hopefully or desperately at them, hoping they would take the hint! but I wouldn't ask as such. I always offer.

stayathomer · 09/07/2019 17:50

I cannot stand the 'I'll just nip in here' people!!! No, there's a queue!! And I mind people asking because I don't say no and then the person behind asks and then the checkout person goes off for something and I'm trying to keep a child/children from trying to run off.

Teddybear45 · 09/07/2019 17:50

@Pasithea - poorly managed diabetes needs long term medical treatment and education. No amount of queue jumping will help you.

stayathomer · 09/07/2019 17:51

Ps I always offer the person behind but then look away hoping the person behind them is not a c.f. who will ask!!!

AlexaAmbidextra · 09/07/2019 17:52

Anyway, an older, white, middle class man

You were right to refuse. Those fuckers should all be lined up and shot. 🙄

Derbee · 09/07/2019 17:53

I probably wouldn’t offer someone to go in front of me, and I certainly wouldn’t let anyone who asked. I’d think they were bloody rude and entitled

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