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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that asking if you can go head with just a few items in the checkout queue is fine?

256 replies

CassianAndor · 09/07/2019 16:44

Following on from another thread, I'm really surprised to find that people think that asking someone with a full trolley if you can nip ahead of them with your 3 items is 'incredibly rude'.

I've had people ask me this and I've let them go ahead no bother.

Sometimes I can see they've only got a few things so I ask them if they want to go ahead as I'll be ages and I'm not in a hurry.

And sometimes I've been the one asking if I could just pay for my pint of milk ahead of their 275 items - and it's never been a problem.

So (and I hope I phrase this right for the voting buttons!) AIBU to think it's fine to ask if you can queue jump someone with a full trolley when you just have a couple of things?

OP posts:

NailsNeedDoing · 09/07/2019 17:17

All the ‘you must wait behind me’ people, would you make sure you got on the bus ahead of an elderly/infirm person because, well, YOU were there first?

That's completely different. Someone wanting to get their shopping done a tiny bit quicker for convenience is not the same as someone needing to be seated as quickly as possible because it's difficult for them to stand and wait.

StealthPolarBearsBiggestGroupi · 09/07/2019 17:17

YABU that’s what self service checkouts are for, except when they are blocked by twats with massive trolleys full of stuff.

Original poster

CassianAndor · 09/07/2019 17:18

Thinking about it, this hasn't come up for years and that's probably due to the rise in self service checkouts.

There isn't always the option of a self service or 1 basket check out, though, is there?

OP posts:

stucknoue · 09/07/2019 17:18

Depends where you are and how many items the person in front has. In Aldi (no self checkouts, no express check out) yes as long as the person ahead has many times as much at least eg you have a 4-5 things they have a full trolley, but other supermarkets have self check outs for 10 items or less so use that one isteat!

ElfAndSafetyBored · 09/07/2019 17:19

I don’t think it is rude to ask.

But it’s not rude to decline that request either.

I find it odd that anyone with a trolley full would resent someone with a couple of items going in front of them.

I guess you run the risk of there being something wrong with one of their purchases or payment though - that would rankle.

And I’d only let one, possibly two if I were in no hurry.

I generally like to treat others in the same way that I’d like them to treat me though.

And life is too short to be mean spirited to one another.

SerendipityJane · 09/07/2019 17:19

Hey ! What happened to the thread that sparked this thread ?

RedDogsBeg · 09/07/2019 17:21

Was the other thread this refers to posted by one with hairy hands, it was rather melodramatic?

I will offer to let people go ahead if they have a couple of items, there are few tills open and I am not in a hurry. I do think it is a bit off to ask or presume you will be allowed to go ahead.

What does irritate me is when you let someone go ahead and they fiff and faff about, just get a move on - scan, pay, go.

TulipsTulipsTulips · 09/07/2019 17:21

This is not ok. Grounds for having citizenship revoked IMO

bobstersmum · 09/07/2019 17:21

I am always loomed over by a person behind me in the queue. I go at the quiet times but always have my two year old with me who is perfectly behaved sat in the trolley seat or stood by me, I always have a full trolley and load it onto the belt as fast as I can but virtually every time someone looms impatiently right behind me. I am a bit soft so normally say go ahead, but in my opinion it is very rude to do what they do. And it's not my fault that the supermarket only have one cashier on!

FrangipaniBlue · 09/07/2019 17:21

Yeah I agree with PPs - it's kind of the person with a full trolley to offer (I always do) but if you're the person with just a few items you should never ask, that's just rude!

IceQueenCometh · 09/07/2019 17:22

It would be incredibly rude to ask. I can't believe you think it wouldn't be.

Justmuddlingalong · 09/07/2019 17:22

Being asked is rude IMO. However, much more annoying are the "I'll just nip in in front of you" folk. Erm, not you bloody won't. Why is your time more precious than mine?

GleefulGlitch · 09/07/2019 17:23

I let the man behind me go in front of me today as he had 1 item I had 20. However I would have thought he was rude if he had asked instead of me offering. I probably would have said yes if he had asked as I am sometimes stereotypically British...but my god would I have moaned about him to everyone and anyone once I got home

Lifeover · 09/07/2019 17:23

Accept if offered but don’t ask

Bodicea · 09/07/2019 17:24

I often offer but wouldn’t be impressed if someone asked me. That is rude.

WhatAGreatDay · 09/07/2019 17:24

I don't like being asked to let people in and I always say no. The people's sense of entitlement is highlighted when they invariably get annoyed and huffy when you say no or point them to the "10 items or fewer" line or the self-service. Their time is not more important than mine.

I also don't like it when other -pushovers- people let these CFs into the queue. They are pushing in front of a whole queue of people not just that one person who has given permission.

Dodahdodah · 09/07/2019 17:24

On one occasion I stood in the queue with my trolley, which wasn't exactly full. The till's supervisor opened another till next to me and directed me into it! Result! Anyway, an older, white, middle class man with his wife in tow, asked if they could go in front of me with their basket. I'd already been queuing once so I said no. The man proceeded to push past me and I barred his way and said "I said no, actually" he replied that he thought I was joking. I replied "I hate queue jumpers".

Sometimes I will offer but on this occasion I had ice-cream and I'd already been waiting. What really pissed me off was the way he acted as if he was entitled to go in front of me.

My time is just as valuable as his.

Chasingsquirrels · 09/07/2019 17:24

I don't mind people asking, I'm perfectly capable of saying yes or no depending on my circumstances at the time.

What annoys me is when I'm asked, I say no (for whatever reason) and I then get ranted at by the person I've refused.

LouLouLoupee · 09/07/2019 17:24

I’d say YANBU I’ve asked a couple of times in my life, I’ve let others go that ask and offered if someone comes up behind me with only a few things. It only tends to happen in supermarkets without basket checkouts or self service.

I don’t see how asking a question is cheeky at all, surely it’s their reaction to your responses that determines CF levels. If I asked and someone said no, that’s fine, no skin of my nose.

Honeyroar · 09/07/2019 17:25

I usually do huge shops when I'm at Aldi, so I always offer for people with only a few items to go in front (it gives me time to unload everything onto the belt, get my carrier bags open and ready in the trolley and be ready to play "beat the cashier"! Sometimes I let two or three people go ahead. I'm actually in awe of people in Aldi who can walk down the aisle of requirement and only come out with two or three items. I can't think of a time when anyone's ever asked me, but probably I've offered first! Sometimes if I've already let a few people through and I'm ready to pack I say "sorry I'd let you through but I've already let three people go and I need to get my shopping done now".

stopdropandroll · 09/07/2019 17:25

i think paying can be what takes a while so only ok if that part will be quick!

familycourtq · 09/07/2019 17:25

Not rude to ask - I will likely offer before you get chance though. I really don’t mind your two items before my weekly shop.

timeforakinderworld · 09/07/2019 17:26

Of course it's fine to ask. Honestly I despair sometimes if people on here: it's rude to ask to go ahead, it's rude to talk to our neighbours, it's rude to talk on the train, or to children...it's like people have just decided they don't want to communicate ever again. No wonder we're going to help in a hand cart!

Lauren83 · 09/07/2019 17:26

I offer if I'm doing a big shop, only ever been asked once and I didn't mind although I do think it's a bit cheeky to ask, I never would

timeforakinderworld · 09/07/2019 17:27

*hell

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