AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

@francescadrake no ones shoving their way through life though are they? Your daughter was crying because the boys was on a slide... not crying because she was hurt or had fallen over or traumatised no she was on a slide. I was a shy child I had two brothers didn't cry when they was doing wrestling moves on me I joined in and played same as them playing in my toy kitchen kids are kids grow up for fucks sake nothing to do with boys are this girls are this

DarlingOscar

Or people could stop being crap parents? I had to tell both of these women how their kids were behaving, so you never know, maybe next time they’ll stop them and teach them some manners.

Little boys do climb up slides , so do little girls - it’s an adventure when your tiny - so is life itself!

I wouldn’t let my sons climb up slides if there was a queue , but in a sparsely populated playground I will . I’ll also let my sons climb trees and do things which you probably regard as dangerous.

Teach your daughter to stand up for herself and not be frightened to take educated risks herself . You are preparing her for adulthood .

The parents not watching and on their phones - there will always be those - you can’t control that - how you and your daughter deal with them - that’s down to you .

Your daughter was crying because the boys was on a slide... not crying because she was hurt or had fallen over or traumatised no she was on a slide.

My daughter was crying because she was scared that two bigger children were pushing her, climbing on her and preventing her getting out of the slide.

I was with you until the absurd "it's nearly always boys" bullshit.

I have a very shy DS and I always calmly tell the other kids that we go down the slide and not up. That always works. I've never had to be aggressive or go confront any parents, so it seems like you need to get a grip OP.

It’s a “watch your bloody kids” issue rather than a sex issue imo. And yes, I hate this too. I have a toddler. I sometimes need to hoik toys/cars etc back from bigger kids who have snatched things from her, whose mums are on their phones and really dislike it.

I've never had to be aggressive or go confront any parents, so it seems like you need to get a grip OP.

Aggressive? Certainly wasn’t aggressive, or confrontational.

I used to take my eye off the ball sometimes with my with my D.C. at softplay. It was the only break I got sometimes and I used it to have a coffee and read the paper or chat with a friend.

I’m not sure the women were ‘crap parents’ because they weren’t helicoptering their children. These things happen. You’re making a bit of a meal out of silly 3 yr old behaviour.

It’s fairly evenly balanced between shit parents of girls and shit parents of boys at my local soft play.

DD is not allowed to climb up slides full stop. Being allowed to climb up them times at some times but not others is far too nuanced for a toddler and a recipe for disaster.

I’m not sure the women were ‘crap parents’ because they weren’t helicoptering their children. These things happen. You’re making a bit of a meal out of silly 3 yr old behaviour.

That’s suggesting they were out of sight or couldn’t hear what was going on. They could, they were just ignoring it. I wasn’t the only parent who felt they had to step in.

Drip
Drip
Drip

Hell is other people (and their kids)
My gentle dd has been bitten on the face, spat at and had rocks thrown at her during her primary years all by other people’s boys. Majority of boys adorable though has to be said

My daughter must secretly be a boy. We were told that she hit a boy in the face with a stick at nursery last week, she tries to climb up slides and she has more bruises on her legs than I could count. The first instance, she's defending herself in a play fight with her best friend (a boy), the second instance, it's only on her slide at home and she wouldn't be allowed to do it if other children were there and the bruises - well, she thinks she can jump further than she can.

I'll remind her that she's actually a girl though, so the above shouldn't happen.

It's basic playground rules- wait your turn and don't climb up the slides. Age has nothing to do with it, it's all about parenting and what you let your child get away with.

I do agree with you OP. You were in the right to tell the parents and there's nothing wrong with your young daughter being shy.

This thread would have gone differently if OP hasn't brought sex into it.

The environment within which we live affects us.

My daughter was crying because she was scared that two bigger children were pushing her, climbing on her and preventing her getting out of the slide.

Totally different version of events to your OP where no mention was made of them pushing her or climbing on her.

I wasn’t the only parent who felt they had to step in.

Oh so there were a series of parents having words with these boys?

Funny how the drip feed only starts when people aren't agreeing with you.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

If as you say she's a shy child i'd work on confidence building with her rather than secluding her from other children. God help you when she starts school if kids blocking the slide causes you to run for the hills.

You asked AIBU. Most people say yes. Why keep defending it? You actually didn't want to know if YWBU. You wanted MNers to tell you they agree with you.

MauisHouseOnMaui

I clarified their behaviour on the third page. To be honest, blocking the slide is bad enough without the rest of it. But that’s what happened.

ScatteredMama82

Probably I do want people to agree, yes.

If as you say she's a shy child i'd work on confidence building with her rather than secluding her from other children. God help you when she starts school if kids blocking the slide causes you to run for the hills.

The bit about moving was tongue in cheek. I just wish people would be aware that they’re raising rude, pushy children who don’t know how to behave to avoid ruining play for others.

I expect I will get flamed for this and I consciously avoided discussing gender in my previous post but I have to say, I think it is disingenuous to entirely discount, in every scenario, the effects of testosterone on behaviour.

I am mother to a son and believe ALL children should be taught socially acceptable behaviour and consideration for others, and ALL parents should adequately supervise their children to ensure they actually notice when such teaching opportunities arise.

I went on DS school trip, he is 4 suspected ASD he couldn't go without a parent.
It is preschool at 4 in Ireland, most of the DC boys and girls were really rough with each other, he was tame in comparison.
To be school ready, try improve DDs confidence, teach her how to deal with conflict, it is a warzone of snatching in preschool.

I expect I will get flamed for this and I consciously avoided discussing gender in my previous post but I have to say, I think it is disingenuous to entirely discount, in every scenario, the effects of testosterone on behaviour.

I don’t think pre-pubescent boys have significantly more of it than girls. Could be wrong.