AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

OP you are hilarious

...ly deluded 😂

I honestly couldn’t care less what people I don’t know and who don’t know me think goes on in my home. They haven’t got a clue what they’re talking about so it’s all rubbish to me.

With regards to why I think some of their children (male or female) might be acting out, it might be something to do with the fact that the poor buggers never get a chance to breathe without someone “engaging” with them. As soon as they get in a soft play they go nuts - it’s like the one hour in twenty three prisoners spend outside their cell.

Another contradiction eh. What a surprise. You shouldn’t have posted, everyone else is clearly inferior to you on your pedestal.

So first the other parents aren’t engaged enough. And now they’re too engaged at the wrong times.

Unlike you, the perfect level of engaged parenting (which turns out to mean on MN all the time, ignoring said offspring )

You must be just trolling us now OP. No one could genuinely believe their own superiority (in the face of all evidence) to this degree.

Could they?

I’ve said before boys are vilified on here and been shouted down.

Thanks op for letting me know I’m not going mad. 😊

OP, if you do move to the Outer Hebrides, Male sure nobody discovers your MN moniker. After the Rathlin Island massacre, I doubt anyone who’d choose any derivative of Francis Drake’s name would be popular among Gaelic folk.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_Drake

And, Christ knows, you don’t need any more help in alienating people!

I said I would bow out but I couldn’t!!!!! It’s like watching a very bad car crash in slow motion. 🤦🏽‍♀️

LaurieMarlow

I don’t mind how engaged they are with their own children (although personally I think, like everyone I suspect) that a happy medium is best. I mind them not supervising their children.

I genuinely don’t think my child would benefit from being constantly wittered on at by me. She likes time to herself, likes to play independently and is absolutely secure in the knowledge that I am there if she needs me. I’m a happy mum.

I’ve said before boys are vilified on here and been shouted down.

Nobody is being vilified.

I honestly couldn’t care less what people I don’t know and who don’t know me think goes on in my home. They haven’t got a clue what they’re talking about so it’s all rubbish to me.

You really don't seem like you don't care, you seem like you are really really bothered by the posters. You answer each and everyone. As I've said before we do know you spend far far too long on MN, you're still doing it! Honestly if you had a 15 year old your would you allow this much time on a forum.... I doubt it!

I genuinely don’t think my child would benefit from being constantly wittered on at by me. She likes time to herself, likes to play independently and is absolutely secure in the knowledge that I am there if she needs me. I’m a happy mum.

Good job you told us, you don't seem happy and you don't seem to mum a lot but you do mumsnet!

If your child is shy perhaps use some time to try and encourage more interaction not just leave her playing alone?

I genuinely don’t think my child would benefit from being constantly wittered on at by me

Totally agree.

I do think she could benefit from even a fraction of your time, which right now you’re prioritising for mumsnet.

I hope you remembered to throw a few snacks her way or something. She needs to eat!

MN addiction can be such a problem.

I do think she could benefit from even a fraction of your time, which right now you’re prioritising for mumsnet.

She’s had plenty of my time.

I hope you remembered to throw a few snacks her way or something. She needs to eat!

Home cooked dinner at the table.

I get it. You don’t like it that someone has called out the bad behaviour of some children in public areas. Oh well.

If your child is shy perhaps use some time to try and encourage more interaction not just leave her playing alone?

She gets plenty of interaction. She is a little shy. She is also very happy.

Honestly if you had a 15 year old your would you allow this much time on a forum.... I doubt it!

No. I wouldn’t allow the amount you’ve spent on here either, or for my teen to be quite so much of a dick as you’ve been. But we’re adults, not children.

@francescadrake you're pissed off that people have called you out on your parenting! I get it, even people originally on your side have agreed your OTT. It's a public forum for everyone to see and people have and will notice the extraordinary posting levels, so much so that sone think you can't possibly have a small child in the house.

Sometimes you put your child's excellent behaviour down to your exceptional parenting skills, then you say she's naturally quiet and shy?

Calling us rubbish is so defensive and so utterly ridiculous.

I’m semi convinced you’re a troll though, so I’m less worried about the non existent, perfectly behaved, neglected daughter as I was.

Not a troll. She is not perfectly behaved. She is not neglected. She has been fed, played with, bathed and had a story read to her. She is happily seeing herself to sleep.

@LaurieMarlow your post echoed mine! Excellent cross post and we've both noticed the same things!

Sometimes you put your child's excellent behaviour down to your exceptional parenting skills, then you say she's naturally quiet and shy?

She is naturally a little shy and quiet. She isn’t an angel. She is well parented, so if that has had an impact, great. If not, I wouldn’t know, because I would do it anyway.

What she isn’t, is smothered. She doesn’t need me to “engage” with her during her every waking minute. Even if she wanted me to, I wouldn’t. It’s good for children to play alone, wait a minute, see their parents doing a range of things. Some of my posting today was when she was asleep, some when I went running (walking home) and my husband had her. Some was when she was happily eating an ice cream and looking at zebras.

I am not worried remotely that she hasn’t had enough attention. I think, rather, that some children get far too much. But that isn’t my business. Just don’t let them be naughty in public spaces and we can all get on with our days.

LOL, oh boy do you have some fun times ahead with your fictional child if you think you have that much say in whether your teenager is a dick. . . that's going to be really funny. . .

The same narrative as the “I can’t stop my toddler misbehaving - he’s a boy.”

What she isn’t, is smothered. She doesn’t need me to “engage” with her during her every waking minute. Even if she wanted me to, I wouldn’t. It’s good for children to play alone, wait a minute, see their parents doing a range of things. Some of my posting today was when she was asleep, some when I went running (walking home) and my husband had her. Some was when she was happily eating an ice cream and looking at zebras.

This morning whilst at the zoo you were mumsnetting on average every 6 mins, that's not "normal levels" you must've been on your phone constantly, reading replies, copying, b
Pasting, bolting etc! Totally and absolutely too much whilst on an outing at the zoo, no matter how independent your child is! Would you do this if you were out with a friend, or would that be unacceptable? So why treat your DD like that?

Here's the thing, as they get older, they must of necessity, be empowered to develop their own identity, which comes out of parents stepping back, and them stepping up. It's alright, you'll find out. Hopefully. Because if you don't, your poor fictional child is screwed, doomed to be one of those unfortunate individuals that get perpetually stuck in that purgatory that exists for those that are never enabled or encouraged to become autonomous individuals in their own right. (However, I'm sure she'll be a very well behaved adult stuck in Mumsy's basement. . .@