AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

I think perhaps that you're possibly pre-disposed towards noticing the boys behaving in such a manner, while perhaps not so much with the girls? A bit of confirmation bias going on maybe!

I always say that nothing makes you appreciate your kids more, than other peoples kids, lol. Nature's best contraceptive. . .

As to - well they're just toddlers. Yup, they are. That's why we need to keep a close eye on our kids, and help them learn sharing, caring and safe play.

You will remember this thread and cringe if you have another child one day....especially if you have a boisterous girl who screams like a banshee in softplay!

Not even slightly, because if she’s upsetting other children with her boisterous behaviour I’ll stop her.

As to - well they're just toddlers. Yup, they are. That's why we need to keep a close eye on our kids, and help them learn sharing, caring and safe play.

Yes, not just teach them all to whack other kids out of the way if you want another go before it’s your turn.

I often wonder if the people who are all wide eyed and tutty about all the male violence in the world are the same people who think its impossible to moderate the behaviour of 3 year old boys on slides.....or can't even see that its mostly boys who are allowed to behave badly in playgrounds....

Some people seriously need to have a think about the future consequences of not teaching their boys to be respectful.

OP do you not see how unfair your comment was? Or unnecessary? What difference does it make if they were boys or girls? What difference does it make if it was boys last time? It's the behaviour that's the problem, not their sex.

Because their sex is clearly influencing the way they’re being parented, seeing as it’s nearly always boys.

Yup you are the perfect parent of your perfect female child
If only the world was entirely full of perfectly patented female children
There you go

If any of us started a three about weepy wailing diva children, there would be a n absolute outcry. The blatant anti male rhetoric extended right down to toddlers. Its sickening at times it really is.

How can you possibly know that it's a case of people parenting boys different to girls? Did they also have their daughters with them and you witnessed the difference?

*‘It’s nearly always boys’

Great you carry on being a smog, i will be too busy chasing after my boys to pay any attention.*

This

These things are annoying but they happen to all of us. Wait til your PFB has to start going to school with some unsavoury types and picks up bad language etc.

I agree with OP. It IS nearly always boys. You won't find many people admitting that though.

anitagreen

Pansy

Girly girlie

Fragile

Princess

These are words used to describe my well-mannered, slightly shy kid on this thread. As if it’s not okay to be a bit gentle and shy, and it is actually better to be a bully and shove your way through life because you want something.

I used to think like this and eye roll when I had quiet sweet DD, then I had rough house DS, They have both been brought up similar, if anything Im far tougher with DS.
The parents should have been watching and correct the DC, I am not sure you should have had a go at them, I usually spoke loudly saying take turns now for DD, with DS I made sure he gave a turn too, if not he was brought home.
I don't think it is exclusive to boys, most peoples 2nd child is slightly madder then the first, boy or girl.

How can you possibly know that it's a case of people parenting boys different to girls? Did they also have their daughters with them and you witnessed the difference?

Not always, but sometimes. But I don’t think it’s necessary to see that. There are roughly the same numbers of girls and boys playing on the equipment. The difference is perfectly obvious.

Oh god I'm pissing myself at the irony
Welcome to mumsnet op

I’ve used MN since before she was born.

My ds1 was in the middle of sliding down a slide as a toddler when a little girl helped by her mum started climbing up it. The little girls mum then had the cheek to give me filthy looks and I ended up saying to ds let’s go to the next slide as that little girl hasn’t been taught to not climb up slides.

Ds2 who is still a toddler got hit, punched, kicked, shoved into a fridge and a door slammed in his face by a little girl 10 months older than him. He is a very gentle soul but this little girls mum thinks her daughter is wonderfully behaved as “boys are rougher than girls” according to mum. Her daughter is far worse behaved than most boys I have ever met.

Unfortunately what you are witnessing is bad parenting. It’s prevalent in both parents of boys and girls. Free soft play is one of the places you will definitely see it.

Because their sex is clearly influencing the way they’re being parented, seeing as it’s nearly always boys
Get a grip. You're actually coming out with crap now.
I hope if you have a 2nd pregnancy it is twin boys.

Get a grip. You're actually coming out with crap now.

How is it crap? It is nearly always boys. She got hit a few weeks ago by a little girl. Other than that, boys. It’s not sexist, it’s the truth.

You're right OP that some parents are lazy and rude and let their kids spoil other children's enjoyment and don't seem to see any problem with it unless it's pointed out (and often not even then... ). When you're the parent whose child is needlessly being impeded and made to feel upset, it is infuriating and you naturally get protective.

Unfortunately, adults' behaviour towards other adults can be similarly selfish and entitled so it is as well to learn coping skills early on. You may even come across some of these ignorant adults in the Outer Hebrides!

Well, you can get some pretty rough and ready girls! The only time things ever got busted at a kid's party at my place, it was a rambunctious little girl not realising where she'd put her hoofers.

Little boys can be very rambunctious too, and not necessarily because their parents ignore it because they're boys, but just because that's the way they are. Some friends of ours have the most gorgeous, full-on, force of nature little three year old boy - he's fabulous! (I always worried about if I had boys because I'm afraid I never clicked with my nephews the way I did my nieces). Our friends are constantly hovering and worrying and apologising when they're here with him - he's fine! He's just a typical three year old boy, full of passion, vitality and energy.

Then again, you can get some very quiet and shy and polite and docile little boys, and girls. And that's okay too. They shouldn't be mocked or told to harden or man up. Which I've sadly seen and heard far too many times.

Then again, you can get some very quiet and shy and polite and docile little boys, and girls. And that's okay too. They shouldn't be mocked or told to harden or man up. Which I've sadly seen and heard far too many times.

Like here. Some people would actually rather blame a crying 2 year old than admit that some people are out of order letting their children dominate play areas and refuse to take turns.

Disagree OP.

I only have one child and he is a boy. I am parenting him the only way I know how. It is not influenced by him being a boy. He knows hitting is wrong and I'll be the first person to drag him out the way at softplay if he is blocking a toy or piece of equipment from other children.

if it's always bad at this place then don't go? sounds like too much aggro?

I am convinced it is 2nd or subsequent DC. The first is usually quieter the 2nd can't wait to catch up, they have to learn to negotiate their place, toy snatching etc.
My brother has 2 daughters the 2nd is wild in comparison to the first, it has been the experience of many with a 2nd child, not just a boy.
I usually find first born boys are very sweet, it is the little brother or sister who is wilder.