AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

It’s funny. For all my “shameful parenting”, I am looking at a very happy, healthily tired child, who has spent the day doing what she loves most: running about outside, looking at animals.

Again, for all my dreadful parenting, I haven’t had to correct her behaviour once. She has been very, very good.

But guess what?

I have had to help her to stand her ground when others have tried to muscle in when she is looking through a fence at the tigers, and I have had to encourage her to keep her place in queues, and I have had to say, “Excuse me” firmly when other kids tried to walk directly in front of her through a gate.

Guess what these kids all had in common?

Boys.

Sorry but it’s the truth.

OP where do you live? Are there no girls at all there apart from your daughter? 🤔

plasterboots can you please not tag me with the @? I'm keeping an eye on the thread so don't need the notification emails too. Bolding my name is enough for me to know who you're talking to, thanks.

Fair enough, that's not how I read your comment but I see your point. However I do see a difference between sitting on your phone while ignoring your child running around and being disruptive, and sitting on your phone if they're quietly watching the monkeys strapped into a pushchair.

Neither is ideal from an engagement perspective sure, but from a 'disruption to other people/closeness in vicinity to deal with any issues like falling flat on their face' perspective they are pretty different scenarios in my mind.

^ignore my comment about the pushchair given Ops update I suppose!

Your DD will be fine in life if she is half as confident and dedicated as you.

Well, we’ve a way to go, but we’ll get there!

*Are there no girls at all there apart from your daughter? 🤔

That’s right. It’s the ancient city state of Sparta.

Or...

What do you mean? Of course there are girls.

Neither is ideal from an engagement perspective sure, but from a 'disruption to other people/closeness in vicinity to deal with any issues like falling flat on their face' perspective they are pretty different scenarios in my mind.

She’s getting on for 3. She doesn’t need me to hold her hand. She doesn’t need constant engagement, or want it.

Wigglebutt you can turn the @ function off you know?

Anyone OP seems to dislike your comment also, you appeared to be coming down on her side as well.

But yes, sometimes she is in the pushchair for longer stretches, and other times not.

Even if I do post on MN pretty regularly - and I concede I do - we’re chatting, eating together, pointing things out.

Since when was parenting about making yourself a martyr, other then when you abandon them to soft play like turning them out to grass? She’s fine.

Plus, even without my never-ending attention (which she doesn’t need and I doubt she would benefit from), guess what she hasn’t done today?

She hasn’t shoved anyone. She hasn’t screamed at anyone. She hasn’t pushed in front of anyone.

So I suppose I am doing something right.

plaster thanks, I know, but I keep it on for alerts on other threads or when I post and the thread is updated later. I don't tend to find too many people @ me when I'm actually posting on the thread so prefer not to have to keep switching it on and off where possible. Thanks for bolding though

Op is more than welcome to disagree with my comment. She knows her child better than I so if she doesn't think she needs constant attention and is happy to engage with other children/the animals instead etc then that's all there is to it really. Supervision and active engagement obviously aren't the same thing so if a more distanced supervision works for them then I'm not really best placed to comment other than to say technically, being on your phone isn't best for engaging your child, but if you don't feel you need to be then fair enough

I think you’ve just struck gold with your child’s personality personally.

I’ve seen parents have perfect children first time around and then feel like a failure with a second. It’s not always about parenting, pulling children away from situations doesn’t always dissolve them.
Children will be children, some are placid and perceived as well behaved, others aren’t but get there with a nudge.

It’s frustrating that you think you’re doing something right just because of the way your daughter behaves. It’s not as simple as that.

Children will be children, some are placid and perceived as well behaved, others aren’t but get there with a nudge.

So nudge them. Don’t sit there ignoring their behaviour. That’s my complaint.

I am looking at a very happy, healthily tired child, who has spent the day doing what she loves most: running about outside, looking at animals

Oh OP put us out of our misery and admit it is made up, how on earth can you bring a 2 yo to the zoo letting them run around, looking at animals when you have been posting every few minutes for 3 days.
Again, for all my dreadful parenting, I haven’t had to correct her behaviour once. She has been very, very good
If she is real I'd be surprised if you noticed anything she did today, unless you have 4 eyes.

@francescadrake you’re not listening.
Parents do! And their kids still behave like this.

what part of that are you not getting?

@EmeraldShamrock I know right. How would you even find the time to drive to a zoo unless posting whilst driving.

Oh OP put us out of our misery and admit it is made up, how on earth can you bring a 2 yo to the zoo letting them run around, looking at animals when you have been posting every few minutes for 3 days.

I fucking hope not, otherwise all those animals noises are the thing I really need to be worried about.

100% real.

She hasn’t shoved anyone. She hasn’t screamed at anyone. She hasn’t pushed in front of anyone.

So I suppose I am doing something right.*

I'd say this was more luck than your parenting technique.

Fuck me....this still going? You not bored yet, op?!

How would you even find the time to drive to a zoo unless posting whilst driving.

It’s not the New York City zoo.

It’s not the New York City zoo.

That must open early ......

I'd say this was more luck than your parenting technique.

Let’s all just stop parenting then.

Funny isn’t it, that the parents who do actually parent seem to be “lucky”, and those who don’t seem to be “unlucky”?

It actually makes me really sad that you judge my child and others just because they’re boys. All kids have the capacity to be brats sometimes, I’m sure even yours, although you’re painting a very pretty picture.

JustMe81

I didn’t.

@justme81 - op is talking bollocks. She’ll soon tire.