AIBU to want to live as far away as possible from other people’s badly brought up children?

[francescadrake]

Today I took my child (nearly 3) to a small, free soft play area on our local shopping centre. There were a few toddlers running round. Fine. My DD wanted to go on the slide, so she got on and waited her turn. All the while, there are two little boys going up and down the slide, climbing up the inside as soon as they finished their turns, shouting in the face of the other children. My DD went down the slide, couldn’t get out at the bottom because they were blocking her and climbing up, and promptly burst into tears. She’s a shy child.

WIBU to tell the boys very firmly to go back down the slide, not climb up, then go and speak to both their mums, who were sat there on phones ignoring their sons’ behaviour?

They did apologise, but why don’t their children know how to use a slide? Why aren’t they stopping them frightening other children and climbing all over everyone rather than using basic turn-taking manners?

Last point: it’s nearly always boys.

AIBU to want to move to the Outer Hebrides so my DD doesn’t have to put up with this?

Christ. I couldn’t do that with my 2.5 year old.

I imagine between your chores and trying to learn the letters off the fridge, you’re already loaded up cognitively, jelly.

Presumably you are simultaneously teaching her to try and speak to children to get a resolution e.g. 'Get off the slide please; I'm coming down'.

Exactly. Thanks.

DD:- mummy what animal is that

OP: hold on Ive got to MN

DD: mummy is that a lion

OP hold on I've got to Mn

DD: mummy do bears like that live in the woods

OP hold on I've got to mumsnet

And repeat

@EugenesAxe she's not at nursery, they are enjoying a day at the zoo! She would also have too been to nursery two very long days yesterday to be MN like she was! So not it's not uncalled for, it's my observation, a bit like OPs. I

Ooh she's ramping it up now ready for a full thread
Jeeze what will I do for lols on my lunch break tomorrow

Ooh she's ramping it up now ready for a full thread
Jeeze what will I do for lols on my lunch break tomorrow

Your lunch break 😂😂👍

There’s a lot of us on this thread with cognitive issues then I take it, cause you cannot be wrong can you. Right o.

“It’s nearly always boys”

Actually you may have a point there. I don't think it's anything to do with boys being 'naturally'more naughty though. I think it is because that god awful phrase 'boys will be boys' is still in use.

I have heard it used repeatedly as an excuse by some parents for any behaviour that would (rightly) get stamped down on in girls.

Ds is just as kind and well-mannered as Dd.

I do agree with the slide behaviour too. It takes minutes to teach a child that you use the playground equipment properly and to take turns with others or they are going home.

She would also have too been to nursery two very long days yesterday to be MN like she was!

Park.

Shopping.

Gardening.

Meals at the table.

HTH.

The only reason my parenting is being attacked here is because you’re struggling with your original argument.

It takes minutes to teach a child that you use the playground equipment properly and to take turns with others or they are going home.

Exactly. Not difficult at all.

Yeah that's what I'm doing now
Having a lunch break
Later when I'm cooking my dinner I'll laugh at you whilst cooking
And then I will mourn the sad demise of this nonsense
It's been fun

*Maybe this is why these mothers who sit and ignore their children at soft play do it. They’ve bought into this ridiculous idea that you have to “engage” with children at all times except when they are asleep.

We’re at the fucking zoo. She’s fine.*

You're posting every six minutes I don't think we have to guess how much you're engaging with you're child.... it's self evident!

plasterboots yeah OK I was typing as that info came in and I gave OP the benefit of the doubt. I'm going to stay on the fence on that point now.

Yes Plaster they are toddlers. Which means they should be supervised. I think it's fair enough for Op to be pissed off about if this type of behaviour is a common occurrence (which it seems to be, albeit potentially with different children). I certainly hadn't taken the moving comment to be literal so forgive me if I've missed a post making it clear that it was, but saying you want to get out/to a particular location isn't exactly uncommon. I think it's pretty clear she's pissed off that the boys were being allowed to act in a way that was not pleasant for other children and she has issue with the parents for not doing something about it. But it's much more fun to deliberately misinterpret so everyone can jump on, right? Given the comment about it being boys I'd also venture a guess that this behaviour is by lots of different children, not necessarily all toddlers either.

I'd say there's been more than enough negativity on both sides, none of which has left anyone covered in glory, but frankly I think the Ops frustration is more understandable than personal comments from hundreds of random people coming to join a mob and give her a kicking for their own entertainment when they have no personal stake in the matter.

Taking to MN to slag off someone's child and parenting based on the fact they're posting regularly, like plenty of other posters do, is just unnecessary and pretty ghoulish even by AIBU standards. Presumably posters here don't know the first thing about Op or her daughter so I'm not sure that you can extrapolate posting over the last few days to automatically mean she's being neglectful.

I reckon someone offered the op a fiver for every 100 posts, bonus points for getting it into a third day
Twenty quid for a full thread

@EugenesAxe and unless the DD was in nursery from 8.48 am to 9pm, when OP constantly posted and I mean constantly yesterday then she was not engaged with them either.

I really don't think OP has room to criticise other parents ...

@WiggleButt yep you're right they need supervision, OP is currently at the fucking zoo, so why doesn't she stop posting and do that?

You're posting every six minutes I don't think we have to guess how much you're engaging with you're child.... it's self evident!

😂

Still going. Wow.
Definitely going to hit a 1000, the excitement
ignoring the fact OP posted 100's of comments
Your DD will be fine in life if she is half as confident and dedicated as you.

Bet the OP will have to have the last word

Fair enough it's a bit surprising that she's posted so much, but if posters are actually that concerned about Ops DD and parenting then surely the answer is to stop posting so that she has no one to respond to, rather than challenging her and then shaming her for responding on a thread she started until she stops and you all 'win' whatever weird argument is going on?

If she stopped posting she'd just be accused of having ran away because she can't handle AIBU and been subject to a continued character assassination anyway

WiggleButt I think many posters believe there is no child.

Or her DD really is the quietest DC in the world.

You sound very controlling OP. It seems to be your way or the highway. Children of very controlling parents are often timid and obedient - until they can break free and rebel.

Thanks Emerald, that makes sense. So troll hunting rather than actively shaming another parent on the boards, which is certainly more palatable if any newcomers were around looking for support I suppose!