How are you today gently?
As a disabled person, it's quite depressing to hear all the "oh well I couldn't do that and caring for someone changes the relationship too much", especially from people who haven't been in that situation.
I actually think a lot of the replies/attitudes on this thread, which are reflective of society as a whole, show a bit of insight as to why your DH feels entitled to act in this way.
It's so easy for people to say "he shouldn't be unhappy too/can't be expected to be a carer/he shouldn't change your relationship dynamics/it's not up to him to provide care for you". Also a lot of "well I could never do that, it's unfair to ask that" This is exactly why he thinks he can carry on as though his life hasn't changed (and don't get me started on the societal attitudes of women as nurturing self sacrificing carers and men as the breadwinners who can't give emotional support).
I don't think people should entirely self sacrifice if their spouse has an illness or disability, but the change in both your lives has to be acknowledged and efforts made to adjust. If he isn't prepared to do that, he would be more honest to say he can't deal with these changes and wants to end your marriage (that sounds horribly harsh, I'm sorry).
A spouse becoming ill does change the dynamics of relationships. It isn't about one person not being expected to help wash the other's hair, it affects everything including children. I also think "in sickness and in health" is a cliched easy to say phrase, but I do think the commitment people have made to each other should at least be considered. He, IMO, has to at least make the effort to compromise and acknowledge the situation requires effort and change. He needs to show kindness.
I think kindness, as a quality in a spouse, is the most important thing here. For example, I'm sure my DH would rather not be lifting me out of the bath (and I find it hard) but my DH is kind and doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. He (this sounds silly 
) pretends he is just doing it so he can grope me and rubs his thighs like Vic Reeves and we laugh. (Likewise I worry about him being tired and tell him so and make him a cup of tea when I can etc)
Yes the relationship has changed but we appreciate each other more and don't worry about little things like we used to. Our relationship and strengthened and reading all these replies makes me appreciate him more tbh. But the important thing is that my DH is a kind man and was before all this happened. He is loyal and kind and that's why we manage.
If someone doesn't have those qualities, and didn't before, it's different and they won't put themselves out even a small way to be kind. They put themselves first. They don't acknowledge the situation (as OP's DH doesn't) simply because they know they would have to change and they just don't want to.
It's not just about your ill health, OP, it's about the character of your DH and I think that's why it's so difficult and complicated.
Do you think any counselling may help? Either marital or maybe just for you may be more helpful.