To tell people it’s often worth persevering with breastfeeding

[BarberBabyBubbles]

Obviously not if baby at risk or mum at risk in any way and bf not helping. Or if mum just doesn’t want to etc etc.

But for my own part, I really really struggled with bf DD1. Just the usual really - sore nipples, cluster feeding for hours, blocked ducts, she lost a normal amount of weight at first but it worried me as I was new to it.

But after about 2-3 months it was very easy and very convenient FOR ME. Yes there were benefits to the baby but my life was also a lot easier. My mum suggested I stick with it because it would be beneficial in the long term and she was right.

I feel like bf gets a bad press. I often get a lot of “sympathy” that I am still bf (I’m now bf DD2 and it is so bloody easy this time round). I do wonder if people could see the benefits after the tricky bit is over they might stick at it a bit more?

The support I know is sadly not really there but also I think it’s a shame some people stop when in the “normally difficult” period.

What a surprise. A thread that started positively about breastfeeding has been hijacked. That's never happened before...

A post like OP's and some of the follow-ups would have been great when I was pumping around the clock to keep my supply up before DD was able to latch. I did persevere for 12 weeks, including two weeks of triple feeding, and I'm bloody proud of myself for it. It's one of the most difficult things I've done but that's had the biggest reward. If my saying that makes others uncomfortable or annoyed then respectfully I suggest that's more internalised anger or frustration with their own situation, whether they want to admit it or not.

It's fine not to want to or be unable to persevere. But for some women it's entirely worth it and they should know that the first weeks are most often the hardest and if they can manage a few weeks longer, it often becomes very easy and convenient. I am proof of that - a DD who wouldn't latch, 12 weeks of pumping and trying her on breast every day... now she's five months old and feeds perfectly fine from breast and takes 10-15 mins for a feed.

So are you saying that there is no difference between feeling a bit low and tired and being depressed? Because if you are, that is complete bollocks.

Also I think this is the third or fourth thread I've read recently that has become the @herculepoirot2 show and died a death 😴

Sandybval

If I “ruined” the thread, good.

I don't get why people click on BF threads if it's a triggering subject. Why shouldn't we be able to talk about it

BertrandRussell

I am saying it’s not the place of anyone other than a woman and her HCP to decide whether she is depressed, and it isn’t the place of anyone other than a woman to decide how sad she needs to feel before she decides to stop BF. Nobody else can have any good motive for having anything to say about that.

I'm so over some people on MN trying to shut down positive discussion surrounding breastfeeding with cries of "oh not this again" and "it's so boring"

When I find a topic less than interesting I just don't read it, it isn't like there isn't a massive clue in the title...

That, there's all sorts of bloody boring topics on here, no one is forced to open them

There is a positive BF thread open on AIBU. I made a positive comment. This isn’t a positive BF thread.

This isn’t a positive BF thread

Well it certainly isn't now is it.....?

“ it isn’t the place of anyone other than a woman to decide how sad she needs to feel before she decides to stop BF.”
Ah. I agree. Next?

I have not said anyone SHOULD do anything. I have already said once that I dislike the word should.

“This isn’t a positive BF thread.”

No. I wonder why.

well it’s the idea that any discussion about breastfeeding ever is judgy and shaming and mean.

Talk about how it was easy for you = smug

Talk about how it was hard for you but you kept going anyway = smug AND judgmental.

So really we should just shut up about it altogether I suppose

BertrandRussell

My point was that the OP was trying to do exactly that. Read her posts. You’re smart. You’ll see what I see, I suspect, if you put aside your irritation at someone pointing it out.

BarberBabyBubbles

You have heavily implied that a woman crying in the night because (insert reason to do with feeding) should be encouraged to keep going because “normal”, like you did with your marathon training.

If you really meant what you are now saying, you might have pointed out that it’s normal, but actually she should be encouraged to do what she wants to do.

I don't get why people click on BF threads if it's a triggering subject. Why shouldn't we be able to talk about it

As I said upthread, as someone who struggled to breastfeed my daughter but would like to try again with any further children, the subject matter was interesting to me. That’s why I clicked on it.

I would have liked to learn about things to know in the early stages of breastfeeding without some people shoehorning into the discussion how formula feeding is risky and they gave their baby a better start in life than I did.

But I’ll exit the thread now and let you get on with your “positive discussion of your own experiences”.

Is it really unreasonable to talk about the positives of BF on a thread about BF. I would never presume to offer such information unsolicited or ram it down anyone's throat bit is this really the wrong place for it?

And yes I am damn pleased that I managed to push through the difficult stage and continue to BF DD, I'm not pretending otherwise to please anyone.

It is possible to talk about the positives of breastfeeding without reference to the “negatives” of formula feeding.

But the two often go together.

@Quaffy to be fair it is normally formula feeders who wade in, don't read the thread or the posts but rant about how BFers are all smug and preachy. It then escalates when everyone gets defensive. For the record I formula feed, it's been great and little one has thrived; but that doesn't mean that for me, personally, I regret now knowing that BFing was a possibility for me if I had been given the right advice.

Then yes it is unreasonable, if you give a tiny shit about the emotional well-being of those who have struggled and ended up formula feeding. The subject matter of this thread was clearly aimed at people who wanted to breastfeed but were struggling. It is completely unreasonable on such a thread to go on about how formula feeding risks dental problems, is inferior to breastfeeding etc. Why do people who have struggled/are struggling (who this thread must be aimed at) need to hear that?

sandybval

Yes I agree - I stuck up for the OP upthread saying people should be able to discuss their positive experiences of breastfeeding.

We all need to be more supportive of each other’s feeding experiences.

We can't pretend things just to protect people's feelings. That's not how adulthood works. To be fair if it wasn't for people getting defensive of FF on a BF thread maybe these things wouldn't be brought up.