To tell people it’s often worth persevering with breastfeeding

[BarberBabyBubbles]

Obviously not if baby at risk or mum at risk in any way and bf not helping. Or if mum just doesn’t want to etc etc.

But for my own part, I really really struggled with bf DD1. Just the usual really - sore nipples, cluster feeding for hours, blocked ducts, she lost a normal amount of weight at first but it worried me as I was new to it.

But after about 2-3 months it was very easy and very convenient FOR ME. Yes there were benefits to the baby but my life was also a lot easier. My mum suggested I stick with it because it would be beneficial in the long term and she was right.

I feel like bf gets a bad press. I often get a lot of “sympathy” that I am still bf (I’m now bf DD2 and it is so bloody easy this time round). I do wonder if people could see the benefits after the tricky bit is over they might stick at it a bit more?

The support I know is sadly not really there but also I think it’s a shame some people stop when in the “normally difficult” period.

You know damn well what that means.

Crying in the night over breastfeeding does not equal undiagnosed depression.

I would have loved to breast feed exclusively. I had ‘help’ from probably eight midwives, I went to two separate breast feeding clinics, I called the hotlines. I still feel sad that I couldn’t breastfeed. I had to give my baby formula so that he wouldn’t die of starvation! I was also told that all women can breastfeed if they have the right support. It’s nonsense.

GPatz

YOU have just given an armchair diagnosis, not me.

This place!? I am speechless.

herculepoirot2

Don't be obtuse. You get my meaning. I missed out the word always.

GPatz

And I fucking know it doesn’t ALWAYS equal undiagnosed depression. My issue is with the OP suggesting it never does, when actually, she hasn’t a clue whether it does for any individual woman. That is not me diagnosing anything. It’s her. And you backing her up (because you “missed” the most important word in your post).

herculepoirot2

She said 'normal in HER experience'. That's not suggesting it never does!!

GPatz

This whole thread is about telling other women when they should persevere, and pretending no agenda. It’s nasty, and people posting in support should be ashamed of themselves. Butt out of other women’s choices. By all means, talk about your own. This isn’t that.

'People posting in support should be ashamed of themselves'.

Well they should. What on earth do you all get out of even discussing what other women choose or should choose to do with their babies? What nice little feeling does it give you? Because I can tell you, it makes other women feel like shit. Which must be nice for some of you.

Urgh.

Well, I agree with that statement, as it relates to both forms of feeding.

Well, I agree with that statement, as it relates to both forms of feeding.

Sure it does.

Why can FF’ers justify their choices but if BFers do they’re judgmental? Aren’t BOTH options and our feelings surrounding them valid. I’m BFing and I’m proud of myself, I’m pleased I’ve come as far as I have. But I don’t give a shit how you feed your baby. Should that stop me celebrating my own achievements? I don’t think so. We should all be proud to raise healthy babies and own our decisions as to how we got there.

Oh go on - I will bite.

What does that mean?

valid. I’m BFing and I’m proud of myself, I’m pleased I’ve come as far as I have. But I don’t give a shit how you feed your baby. Should that stop me celebrating my own achievements? I don’t think so. We should all be proud to raise healthy babies and own our decisions as to how we got there.

Of course. I BF. I am proud that I did so. It was hard. That doesn’t mean I am going to come on here and tell other women my experiences were “normal” and they might have done better had they “persevered”. Because I’m not that nasty.

Because there is more to life than being I'm alright Jack and its clear that it isn't always a free or informed choice for all women

GPatz

It means BF mothers are praised, not censured, in most places, but on MN in particular. BF mothers who try to tell other women they should be BF mothers too, sometimes get told to fuck off. Then these particular people act all hurt, because they are failing to understand that they aren’t being told to fuck off for BF, but for being smug and horrible.

Actually herculepoirot2,when you put it like that you are right

But was that really the intention of the OP? If so then yes, you are right - it is mean and it is not supportive at all and I have misread the intention of this post.

GPatz

Wow - possibly the first time I’ve ever seen anyone do that on here 😂

But thank you - yes, that’s what I think of it.

What on earth do you all get out of even discussing what other women choose or should choose to do with their babies?

I’m not discussing what other women SHOULD choose. I’m discussing how we can help more of us have more information and support, so our choice is really OUR choice rather than what we end up doing because we think we have to. As are many of the others here. What is it that makes you think we are all (your word!) telling women what to do?

@herculepoirot2

Yes I can see that POV.

I do know a few people who wanted to breastfeed and regretted making the switch too soon. Perhaps if they’d have had better support they might have succeeded. But if people are content with their decision not to BF then of course preserving misses the point!

I’m not discussing what other women SHOULD choose. I’m discussing how we can help more of us have more information and support, so our choice is really OUR choice rather than what we end up doing because we think we have to. As are many of the others here. What is it that makes you think we are all (your word!) telling women what to do?

Not all. The OP and some others.

Nothing wrong with saying support should be available so people can make a free choice. Plenty wrong with saying support should be available so people can “persevere” like the OP did with her half-marathon because that’s the same

herculepoirot2

Sometimes it just needs someone to say something that resonates above ones own clouded indignation to see clearly.

I do know a few people who wanted to breastfeed and regretted making the switch too soon. Perhaps if they’d have had better support they might have succeeded. But if people are content with their decision not to BF then of course preserving misses the point!

Exactly.

“I don’t have a problem with you persevering. I have a problem with your assumption that everyone else should do the same. It is literally none of your business.”

I would have a problem with that assumption but I have NOT said that. Ever. Read my posts.

I would have a problem with that assumption but I have NOT said that. Ever. Read my posts.

Balls. Big. Hairy. Ones.