To feel pissed off at dh asking for 'relief' at 38 weeks pregnant

[newuname]

Name changed but regular poster...
Just looking for perspective really and a bit of a rant!
Currently 38+4 and feeling pretty fed up and uncomfortable. Usual stuff - not sleeping, hips hurt, not very mobile, look like a whale. Never felt less sexual.
Lying in bed this morning dh asks me for 'relief'. So... I've had zero sex drive throughout this pregnancy so I do get that he might be a bit 'frustrated', but really??? When I told him that it wasn't really up for it his response was (TMI alert) 'all you've got to do is form a fist'. This was all quite light hearted and I've suggested that he's more than capable of doing that himself....
But... AIBU to just be a little bit pissed off that he's even pushing it right now? I think it probably points to a wider issue that I don't feel he really 'gets' how I'm feeling at the moment, but prepared to be told that I'm maybe being a little U

Personally l think he’s unreasonable, not you. Conversely lm sure you want some relief from feeling so uncomfortable

Oh grim.

I would sit him down, tell him I am fucking exhausted housing and growing his child, and if he wants “relief”, I want it a hundred times more than he does. And to have a wank.

YANBU. Tell him to fuck off. Light hearted or not, he should not be putting any pressure on you. If you don't want to, you don't want to.

Yuck. How dare he?

The thing that really gets to me is that they think this kind of behaviour is ok. That they are entitled to sexual favours. "I have needs." Oh, puh-lease. Tell him to sort himself out and not bother you until you give him the green light.

I think YABU, especially as you say he asked nicely and made a light hearted joke. You will feel even less like you want to do it after the baby is born so this is a nice moment to have some intimacy.

The words Fuck and Off would be my only answer. He sounds self centered.

A nice moment to have some intimacy that the OP doesn't want or is happy to partake in?

Tell him that you've graciously decided that you'll alllow him to live. I'm sure that'll come as a relief to him.

I think it's okay for him to have asked, but not to have continued to push it. It's also completely okay for you to tell him, at length and in detail, all the reasons why you won't do it.

oh you should have formed a fist and then slammed it right down on his cock, he wont need any more "relief" for weeks

Tell him to just make a fist while he is growing a new human being in his belly.

Come on ! I don’t see anything wrong ! You are all so prudish ! If you don’t feel like it don’t do it. You are heavily pregnant not terminally ill !

Ughhhh what an absolute pillock. I would say the only fist I'll be making will be the one that going to smack you in the face. Honestly, why do these men think it's all about them.

I’d have made a fist and punched him in the stomach then laughed and been light hearted and see how fun he found that. The when he complained his stomach hurt I’d have said “now you get it” and gone out for the day.

He does not have ‘needs’ he has ‘wants’. No one dies from lack of sexual relief. Tell him to jog on.

It's not about being prudish it's about feeling totally knackered and not wanting to deal with his needs when you have much more important
ones of your own. It's something he can quite easily deal with himself without hassling you for.

I think it’s ok to have asked. As you said, it was lighthearted. It’s absolutely not ok to ask again or push the issue in any way.

Thanks for the replies MN!
Feeling a little bit guilty for posting now... just to clarify he is generally great and doesn't push it at all... we've literally had sex about twice since I've been pregnant with no mention of it.
I think he was being a bit of a cheeky git this morning but nothing more has been said since I said no.
I think I'm feeling super sensitive and equally I do think in some ways it's hard for him to not see the lack of action as there being something wrong with his as opposed to it actually just being about how I feel.
I'll talk it through with him later x

I'd have told him that he's welcome to some privacy but the last thing I want is to get overheated and hand cramp.

Can't he masturbate like a normal man?

Some women would be angry if their H was cracking one out themselves 🤷‍♀️

I'm sorry but having read your opening post @newuname , I was just about to post word for word what @AtSea1979 did.

He wasn't unreasonable to ask, you definitely weren't unreasonable to say no, but I'm not sure why you are pissed off, other than that late pregnancy, pissed off with life in general feeling.

@Dontcarewhatimdoing I think that's exactly it and probably why I did the AIBU. I think everything's pissing me off right now and it was another to add to the list 😂
I think I just need to be left alone in a cave with piles of chocolate