To feel pissed off at dh asking for 'relief' at 38 weeks pregnant

[newuname]

Name changed but regular poster...
Just looking for perspective really and a bit of a rant!
Currently 38+4 and feeling pretty fed up and uncomfortable. Usual stuff - not sleeping, hips hurt, not very mobile, look like a whale. Never felt less sexual.
Lying in bed this morning dh asks me for 'relief'. So... I've had zero sex drive throughout this pregnancy so I do get that he might be a bit 'frustrated', but really??? When I told him that it wasn't really up for it his response was (TMI alert) 'all you've got to do is form a fist'. This was all quite light hearted and I've suggested that he's more than capable of doing that himself....
But... AIBU to just be a little bit pissed off that he's even pushing it right now? I think it probably points to a wider issue that I don't feel he really 'gets' how I'm feeling at the moment, but prepared to be told that I'm maybe being a little U

People are suggesting that a wife punches or slaps her husband, "slams a fist into his cock", tells him to fuck off, makes sneering passive aggressive comments, asserting that he feels "entitled to sexual favours" and thinks it's "all about him", even suggesting that he's a user of prostitutes... because he asked for a hand job. He must have persisted, nagged or badgered her, as some comments suggest? No, he simply asked for a hand job, in a lighthearted way.

Mumsnet's started the week in typical fashion and predictably the OP now feels guilty about all the horrible things being said about her husband by people who don't know him. What did you expect?

Don't you lot ever step back and think about how mental you sound?

some people MaryMcCarthy, and few actually at that. No need for the "you lot" are "mental" - do you realise how rude, generalizing and inflammatory that sounds?

I think a lot of women on here are resentful towards their own partners and husbands but feel unable to do anything about it so they take their frustration out on other women’s partners online.
I bet ops husband would be mortified if he read this thread, poor bugger only wanted a wank from his wife.

some people MaryMcCarthy, and few actually at that. No need for the "you lot" are "mental" - do you realise how rude, generalizing and inflammatory that sounds?

Not half as rude or generalising as those who judge every man by the apparently monstrous men they've known, or those who ignore details and nuance in order to promote horrible conduct, divisiveness and violence. I see it shockingly frequently on here.

Honestly I dread to think of how many lives or relationships might have been necessarily ruined by following advice on here. It's serious.

A couple of nights ago i was feeling horney but didnt want full sex, I asked my dh if he could do the honors manually does that make me a sex pest?
Well obviously he should have punched you in the crotch.

And based on your explicit language; how long have you been seeing prostitutes for?

The thing I'm still struggling with about this thread is the idea that anyone could go into a sexual encounter with anything other than the thought it might be mutual.

Okay, so some of the responses have been over the top. But honestly, OP's first post does make it sound like a domestic chore of some sort.

Make kid's packed lunches.
Iron DH's shirts.
Load dishwasher
Lay table for breakfast tomorrow.
Clean teeth.
Wank husband.
Set alarm for 7.00 so I can get everyone's breakfast ready.

It's just not how I've ever thought of sex within a relationship. It's always gone something along the lines of:

"I fancy a shag..." "Brilliant, so do I" Shag ensues.

Or "I fancy a shag..." "Sorry, not in the mood, maybe tomorrow night/in the morning when I'm not so knackered." "Oh, okay then, I'll read a book for a bit." (NB this happens both ways round.)

But never "Not in the mood..." "Oh, well could you jerk me off instead?" I just can't conceive of being in a relationship like that.

You just have to form a fist?! Well, excuse me but your hands, mouth or any other part of your body aren’t there for him to view as serving a purpose somewhat akin to the outer casing of a sausage roll.

Hehe, may be immature, but I am sniggering about 'having to save sexual urges to share with your partner' - everyone knows they are replenishing.....right? Like if you use one it doesn't come from a diminishing supply.......Just sayin.

You just have to form a fist?! Well, excuse me but your hands, mouth or any other part of your body aren’t there for him to view as serving a purpose somewhat akin to the outer casing of a sausage roll.

Surely he was just commenting on the level of effort he thought what he was asking would entail.

Not the same as indicating what he thinks the "purpose" of anything is.

Agree with FermatsTheorem.

For those at the back who didn't quite hear:

OP's DH did not try to "initiate sex" there was nothing mutual about what he requested. He asked for a service.

It WAS all about him despite what some people on here are trying to claim.

It would have been a flat no from me too.

I am NOT a masturbatory aid. No woman is.

OP. You were not unreasonable to react the way you did. Your instinct at the time was correct
Don't minimise it after the fact. You were right.