to not want my lodger's family to stay?

[Anotherbloodyname123]

Lodger announced his family (wife and two kids) are coming to visit in a few months a while ago and I'm not quite sure why I didn't think to ask immediately where they were staying. I did today as it came up and he says they're going to stay here, for two whole weeks!

(For context, he is lodging with me for a work contract, and his family live abroad)

This is a normal two bed flat and he said his family are fine to share the (double) bed and sleep on the floor.

I'm really not happy about this. He kept saying it'll be fine and the kids will be well behaved (I'm sure they will as he's very quiet and usually considerate and polite!)

He's not even really booking time off to spend with them. He said the kids and wife will stay in the flat all day Monday to Thursday as they'll be too scared to go out, and he'll go out with them on the two weekends they're here.

I said I wasn't keen but he just kept batting it back.

AIBU to not want them to stay? I'm a single woman and I DON'T want kids staying especially ones I don't know. I have a nice place and it's not child friendly. I don't have a garden.

Relevant bit of our contract is this: 'not to permit anyone else to stay in the Room, although the Licensee may allow visitors to stay overnight in the Room on an
occasional basis;'

But I also don't want to be an arsehole. He must miss them a lot!

Help.

I agree with what @CalmFizz says

You need to be blunt now op. When he says it’s fine put your steely voice on and say ‘it is not fine. I do not authorise this visit, he’s a printed copy of the lodger agreement you signed. I suggest you find other accommodation, a hotel or air bnb etc, because they will not be staying at my property. Do not go ahead with this behind my back and think I will tolerate it once your family arrive because I categorically will not. I understand if you no longer want to continue lodging here and want to look for somewhere else, good luck in finding someone to accommodate this.’

The kids and his wife will not be staying in the room the whole time. They will need to use the kitchen and the bathroom. Even if they are quiet, when you are home and trying to work, you will be on edge waiting for them to make a noise.
It does sound like the lodger agreement is not working in this case. The fact you have your Friday off ever other week, but now he works from hom on that day.
I would tell him what CalmFizz said above, and if he still pushes, just give him notice to find somewhere else. Its your home.

You must tell him, very clearly, that he cannot have ANYONE to stay. Not even for a single night. And then refuse to engage with him further. Once you start explaining why it won't work, you're on the way to being persuaded. Just say it can't happen, and then tell him you aren't going to discuss it further.

Do you think at any level that this is a reasonable request? I certainly don't.

On your side OP. Make it clear this is a no no.

Print off the contract, highlight the bit about no visitors and tell him his family cannot stay. Did he imagine they could just stay for free?? What about the extra utilities? Tell him to get an Airbnb. Might be a good time to send I’m on his way if he’s now trying to wfh once a week.

I'm another one curious to know where this person's family are coming from?

He's a cheeky fucker and he knows it. He doesn't get to tell you anything. He can either comply with your house rules or live elsewhere. You aren't running a B&B.

Nope. Definite no.

I think you are being very unfair,it’s very unlikely they can afford a hotel.
He is renting the room they want to stay in the roomhe is paying for.
I would just be kind for two weeks.

Stop being so wish washy. Just tell him you have thought it over and you don’t want them to stay. He is just chancing his luck.

No, No and thrice NO!

Op, please just say no
He’s a CF to be honest.

And which war zone do you live in that they won't feel safe going out? Nah, he's a cheeky fucker and hes treating out and his family, like crap.

That's rude of him. Tell him it doesn't work for you, and he'll have to find another arrangement for his family. Or charge him rent for the four of them for 2 weeks. I'm sure he'd find alternate arrangements as soon as that was brought up.

Jesus wept! You're a total doormat letting some bullying arsehole man dictate to you how you run your own home? FUCK THAT! The world is full of lodgers. You tell him what CalmFizz said. He tries it on, you throw them fucking out. Get a spine!

You have no boundaries and so people will continue to rip the piss out of you as a result.

Problem solved OP. MyDcAreMarvel is offering to have them instead as he/she is so very “kind”

A mahoosive NO FUCKING WAY from me. No way!!
I know what this will turn into - the family will take over your flat and you'll feel like an intruder.
Not a chance in hell.

Tell him that they can stay overnight one night a weekend, but that's it.

What if you let them stay, and they decide not to leave?

Stand your ground, print of a copy of the contracts and highlight the area that says about visitors. If you really want to let them stay, tell him that he pays a rate for one person, and will have to pay for three others while they are there.

Seriously?

Look I get where you're coming from. it would be an inconvenience to you, for 2 weeks.
But This family gets to spend 5 maybe 6 weeks together a year!
Have some humanity, you won't even be home during the week days and unless he normally Leaves a mess I'd say chances are they will be considerate as it probably means a monumental amount to them all to be able to see each other even if it's just in the evenings and weekends.
Just suck it up and know you did a really nice thing for his kids.

If you charge rent for them all for two weeks then they'll be using the rest of the house too.

You're going to have to enter the discussion prepared to lose him as a lodger. He's coming across as very dismissive of you, in your own house. If you are soft about this he'll steamroller you. Decide ahead of time what your bottom line is, and simply do not budge. If he threatens to move out, well, that will be an inconvenience to you, but if he feels he must, then you understand. If he gets emotional, or says he then can't afford to bring his family, then you are really sorry that he's in that situation. But do not say anything else. Just say nothing. No excuses or explanations.

As Mumsnet taught me: "No." is a complete sentence!

Show him the contract, say they cannot stay, they will use the bathroom, kitchen, you don't want people eating meals on your carpet,
You don't want to come home & find them watching the TV, it's not possible. If he wants to leave then fine.

Stop allowing him to answer you back, just tell him no.
I can't believe he is still going on with this. You need to tell him directly and now before they are on your door step, or worst your new lodgers.

or, charge them them extra rent, they will use water & elec, it is an inconveneience

And to the people saying she should "be kind", I'd agree, IF he sat her down, spoke to her, explained the situation, ASKED and then said he'd leave her to think of whether it works for her or not, whether she wants to increase the rent for those two weeks or not etc.

He didn't.

He only told her because she specifically asked. It's a totally disrespectful scenario, unlike the first.

I'd be really firm here. "No, it's not fine, you need to find so where else for them to stay". He's your lodger, he has no real rights so ultimately you can give him a week's notice if he keeps it up.

Don't let him pat for all of them to stay. What if it's not a holiday? They might be trying to move in (I've dealt with this happening at work)