To think £ 100 p.w board is a little too much to charge ds?

[ginorwine]

Ds returning from uni . We live rurally but he has managed to find f.t job for the summer , then plans to travel .
He eats a lot , showers a lot ... etc . We are on minimum wage and have to be careful
.
Dh thinks ds will get £ 320 pw , and feels we should charge him
£ 100 p.w . His thoughts are that rent alone would cost him that . This would be for food , electric and council tax and include food .
Am struggling with this idea but I do want him to learn responsibility and pay his way and whilst we can’t afford to keep him without a contribution , I feel £ 50
More reasonable ?
Dh says that ds will have £ 200
Plus pw to save for travel
If we charge the £ 100 pw and he will have much more disposable income even if he pays that ... Aibu ..

It's not making money out of your DS
Well since you haven't said how much extra you think him living there would cost you, you've only thrown random figures, we don't know.

As someone said, living at home doesn't come with the benefits of renting a place, so it's not comparable.

Whatt extra is he going to cost? Food, £20/30? Gas/electricity/water, £10? Shower gel, shampoo etc..£5. Petrol if you take him places £5?

What other bills will go up? I'd charge £50 max, over that and you're making a profit out of your son. I'd rather tell mine to move out than make £50 profit a week to treat myself.

Clothes, haircuts, phone, going out should be what he pays for himself

First thing I’d be doing is let him pay for his own phone and insurance THEN charge home £100 a week. If there’s and left over from the additional costs I’d put it to one side for him when he needs it. I’d even be tempted to take £200 and say you’ll put the £100 away so he can’t piss it up the wall.

I gave ALL of my wages to my parents and they handed me back £50 for spends. Did that from being 16 till I moved out.

Is £320 a week definitely his take home pay?

Also it's wrong of your Dh to think that adults don't have £ 200 a week disposable cash.
I personally don't but I know plenty who do.

So the mortgage and bills that DS would contribute to (because obviously he wouldn't contribute to clothing, haircuts, fuel for other people's cars etc) actually comes to 640 before food - divide that between the three of you is 215ish - then food on top. Even if he doubles your food bill 300 would be the max it comes to

@Manclife1 that sounds like an awful way to live. Sorry you went through that, although struggling to understand why you'd want to inflict that on others

£100 a week is fine, he will still have £200 to spend, he is obviously not short of money if he can afford to travel after university, don't most get a proper job, DS would have liked to have travelled but instead he had to pay his rent and bills in his rented flat which was more than £100 a week so got a job as most people have to.

Groceries, electricity and water would go up
Also wifi useage, if yours has data limits

RingtheBells He is coming to us Sunday he can afford to travel - save his earnings .
He is delaying getting a ‘ real ‘ job as unsure what to do career wise .

I think £100 is reasonable. That covers a multitude of things (I am assuming you have some / most of these):

Food
Gas
Electricity
Council Tax
Water
TV License
WiFi
Cleaning products inc washing up, fabric conditioner, washing powder etc
Toilet rolls

That lots adds up.

A 20 year old man could easily eat £50 worth of food a week though - I think I'd compromise and say £50 per week but it only includes 2 meals a day that are breakfast and a family evening meal that you provide - not helping himself from the cupboards.
In our house we are spending over £100 on food a week for two of us - and it isn't me who's eating most of it.
Or as someone suggested charge £100, see how it goes, and give him the difference if there is any.
Or you could get him to take turns in doing the food shop (and paying for it).
Plus I would expect him to help with the cleaning.
His moving in shouldn't profit you but unless you are careful it could end up costing you a lot in food

Work out how much it costs to keep him, down e probably a meal a day during week if he’s working F/T together with contribution towards bills. It’s a case of not making money out of the situation, as he’s your son, but making him responsible for what you’re paying extra to keep him. Not sure he will incur an extra £400 a month above what it costs for you and your DH to live there.

How on earth will tv licence, council tax go up with another person in the house?
No wonder kids can’t wait to leave home.

Compromise at 75/week

£400 per month out of that wage. Disgraceful.

Also, it read on your bills that you have a DD too - does she live with you, if so you need to split costs 4 ways, not three

@ginorwine have you told him it will be £100 a week?

students dont pay council tax

He's not a student, totally fair.

People are suggesting that the op’s council tax will go up. It won’t as she’s not a single person.

£50. But make sure he buys a lot of his own food (certainly anything different to what you and your DH would buy).

Raspberryk, he does not pay towards the mortgage as house is in my name. I certainly feel better off since he moved in. We both earn similar amounts so that helps.

What @doughnutobssession said. £100 is absolutely fine . If you can, save maybe £20 pw to give him back when he goes travelling.

My adult son lived with me for years and I charged £80pw. Now he has gone I can really feel the difference in all my bills most especially food. Oh and toilet rolls !! He also did not buy toiletries and if ever a takeaway was suggested it was always me that paid etc.

What? Your husband does not contribute to the mortgage! Drip, drip

Isthebigwomanhere

I have not
I have said we will come to arrangement .