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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask why some women don't attempt breastfeeding?

999 replies

Lottle · 05/07/2019 11:26

Just being nosy. Perhaps too nosy....

Just wondered why some mums don't give breastfeeding a try. I totally get why people may not do it for long, just curious as to why some don't try at all.

One friend happened to mention (I didn't ask) "it wasn't for me" but I wasn't sure what that meant but of course I didn't probe, so probing you lot instead. Don't know if it's too cheeky to ask though!

OP posts:

TabbyMumz · 08/07/2019 14:34

Truthontrial.....I wondered if you were not well due to the phrases you were coming out with. I have a family member who is not well so when I saw your strange comment I took a step back and considered if you were not well either. I'm mindful that when commenting on here we can't see who we are commenting to, or know their background.
I've not called anyone patronising, I think you are getting me mixed up with someone else, as others have commented they felt that way.

TruthOnTrial · 08/07/2019 14:38

My last posts were addressing more than one pp.

You say that, yet you persist in saying it!

You cannot wriggle out of that. It's well out of order to do that to anyone. I hope this isn't how you treat that person?! Rhetorical.

TabbyMumz · 08/07/2019 14:39

Persist in saying what?

TabbyMumz · 08/07/2019 14:41

Truthontrial.....i was genuinly concerned for you with the comments you made.

TruthOnTrial · 08/07/2019 14:41

You have made a [deliberate?] strange leap there just from one sentence. It's ill-advised to be practising home-spun psychology, as I'm sure you know.

So back to the why women don't try bf?

TruthOnTrial · 08/07/2019 14:44

The many reasons for bf have not been alluded to or blatantly stated on here.

The main argument has been on the milk quality.

There is no judgements from anyone towards anyone struggling with medical issues, and I don't think this op was directed at that, or those who tried and for whatever reasons couldn't continue or couldn't get on with it.

TruthOnTrial · 08/07/2019 14:44

It was simply to understand, if possible, reasons behind the not giving it a go.

Benes · 08/07/2019 14:46

You keep mentioning money truth but that's not the point here.

I don't think many ( if any) women are duped into FF because of a marketing campaign.

This is about women's choices and the choice to feed their children in a way that works for them. They should be able to do this without being judged and called names.

TruthOnTrial · 08/07/2019 14:48

I for one, feel very much for anyone that's felt guilt over this.

I felt guilt for MC, I think many do, even though we tell each other it's not our fault, we still feel our bodies failed in some way or we did something or didn't do something. It's horrible.

I hope that HCP can be more sensitive to advocating anything without checking into histories properly first. That can't be toobhard!

TabbyMumz · 08/07/2019 14:48

"You have made a [deliberate?] strange leap here just from one sentence. It's ill-advised to be practising home-spun psychology, as I'm sure you know."
Eh? Come again? Can you explain please?

Parker231 · 08/07/2019 14:48

I have listed earlier in this thread as to my reasons for ff although they were rudely dismissed by some posters!

TruthOnTrial · 08/07/2019 14:50

Who's name calling? Not me. And not any of the bf. It's been the opposite quite frankly.

A real eye opener.

Without all the campaigning , and money for that, I doubt very much the stats would be as they are.

Women struggle to bf in public...still. So there's clearly a lot more to it

TruthOnTrial · 08/07/2019 14:53

Women asked to bf in toilets, breasts sexualised, revulsion for many reasons at the thought or feeling of it.

Theres quite a lot of pressure in society on the minority that choose to bf, they are treated very badly and pressured in many ways

TruthOnTrial · 08/07/2019 14:55

Yes Parker there's been a lot of rudeness, its a shame, as it's hindered a lot of open discussion.

I know it was difficult in our groups of DMs and babies, for all. Those bf felt guilt around those FF because we were shut down at times for speaking about it.

Both should feel free to discuss and talk openly

MrsMiggins37 · 08/07/2019 15:02

Re the name calling when I had explained my reasons for not BF further up the thread and still had people proclaiming it “sad” I’d given my baby a bottle I think I was pretty restrained tbh. What they said was utterly vile.

Benes · 08/07/2019 15:03

Just because some people have felt victimised for bf doesn't make it okay to do the same to those who FF.

Although, in my wide circle of friends and acquaintances I've never come across anyone who's experienced any negativity for bf and I've got friends who continued to bf until their children were 2 and 3.

Most people I know are mature enough to not judge people for their choices.

TruthOnTrial · 08/07/2019 15:06

I have been asked why I bf?!

I have had my decisions challenged, and negated.

Please don't make this all about the vast majority of women who FF, they are not alone in feeling pressure, or getting sworn at!

TruthOnTrial · 08/07/2019 15:07

A lot do experience anti bf, and get treated very poorly as a result.

It's on MN a lot that I've seen where women have been discriminated against for bf, hence thread now legislation to protect babies bf rights!

Lovewinemorethanhusband · 08/07/2019 15:08

Because I didn't want to, my body my choice, in the end my baby has such serve allergies that she is on hypo allergenic amino acids formula as I would have been on such a restricted diet to breast fed that it wouldn't have been appropriate for me

TruthOnTrial · 08/07/2019 15:09

*there's now (not thread now)

TruthOnTrial · 08/07/2019 15:10

From what I've seen also, any of these types of threads end up in abusive posts though. Telling other women to fuck off, talking rubbish, utter shite, oh you're unwell you poor dear and all the other awful recriminations against other women

RedDogsBeg · 08/07/2019 15:15

Posters have said why they didn't attempt to breast feed, TruthOnTrial but their answers/reasons are challenged, pulled apart, dismissed, questioned, and generally not accepted. You personally have been very dismissive of some posters and the reason they gave.

Posters, like yourself, keep stating how breast is best, it's as natural as any other bodily function, they should try for the sake of their baby, they are letting their baby down, etc.

MrsMiggins37 · 08/07/2019 15:20

You forgot the unwelcome, unwanted and unfounded patronising sadness and pity for FF babies. Or are you only outraged when it’s BF women who are insulted?

MamaFlintstone · 08/07/2019 15:25

Am I reading the same thread as you Truth? Or can you just not see the horrible judgemental posts aimed at FF mothers by some (of course not all) because they were so vile they have already been deleted?

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