To ask why some women don't attempt breastfeeding?

[Lottle]

Just being nosy. Perhaps too nosy....

Just wondered why some mums don't give breastfeeding a try. I totally get why people may not do it for long, just curious as to why some don't try at all.

One friend happened to mention (I didn't ask) "it wasn't for me" but I wasn't sure what that meant but of course I didn't probe, so probing you lot instead. Don't know if it's too cheeky to ask though!

Where? Where had that been said apart from the crazy one who has been discounted?

The OP asked about why people dont attempt breastfeeding not why people give up. Sleep deprivation is awful - I absolutely wish I had either expressed or combination fed to help that. But it doesn't explain why people dont even try it.

Because they don’t want to.

hotchocolatelover did you read the OP?

The question was why ? What was the reason behind not wanting to do this, not wanting to give it a go, what put you off?

@truthontrial.....the question was "why dont they". The answer is they dont want to.

It is perfectly acceptable to just not want to. As people have said breast milk may be slightly better than formula, but I don't believe outstandingly so.

No, not 'may be'. Is.

Tabby yes, the quality of the milk is definitely one factor, and an important one, of course, but it's far from the only one.

Some have said they feel repulsed by it, that's quite shocking the that you can happily have a shit but feeding your baby the way designed for both DM and baby is felt to be repulsive. It's a very extreme reaction, which is very understandable some circumstances.
Direct suckling stimulates a lot more than just milk, for both men and baby.
Although the quality of milk is a strong argument for bf, and can be guilt inducing for any who have tried and not managed for whatever reason, it's not the only one.

There are a multitude of complex mechanisms at play in suckling and milk production. All beneficial to well supported DMs. Like less post-partum haemorrhage, as it stimulates contracting down of the uterus for example.

It's a lot more complex than the main argument used of better quality milk.

*DM and baby, not men how did men come from that!!

'Some have said they feel repulsed by it, that's quite shocking the that you can happily have a shit but feeding your baby the way designed for both DM and baby is felt to be repulsive. It's a very extreme reaction,'

Not the 'taking a shit' quote from you again

We have to 'shit' or we die

Some of us like a good 'shit' but don't wish to BF

For your own sanity

Perhaps just accept we aren't all wired up the same and get over it.

Bloody hell

I'd try not to be
'Shocked'
'Baffled'
'Flummoxed'

That WOMEN make different choices to the ones you may have chosen

The FF marketing army has successfully reduced yours and your babies feeding experience to simply the milk, and discounted everything else, it seems.

I am glad all the mechanisms were given to me, as I had been quite into FF, and all the paraphernalia that came with it. I had all these worries about how bacteria ridden breasts must be by comparison to sterile everything, turns out that bacterial areolas and.boob skin generally helps populate babies gut with seeding of specific healthy gut flora.
I had been panicking about continually have to wash and sterilise my boobs! This is where my thinking got all conflated with the whole bottles and processed stuff.

I didn't, no sickness ensued! Never had any vomitty babies, or diarrhoea. This is in line with large statistically significant studies.

But that is an example of how for some of you mothers don't matter. Some mothers feel repulsed by breastfeeding. Yes in an ideal society it may be that no one should feel that way. But they do. And that should be respected instead of just told they should breastfeed anyway.

Truthontrial.......I don't really care about all that nonsense, at the end of the day babies that are formula fed thrive, and that can't be ignored. I'm not likely to have any more kids, and mine are perfect, so don't bother preaching all that rubbish to me.

That's a wrong assertion there.

I am far from baffled, shocked or flummoxed about women making different choices to me!

I do find it shocking that shitting is ok and bf is sick inducing? That's dichotomous.

I also wonder about the pressure women are under both to bf and FF, and what those pressures are.

But I am not shocked that women choose, that's just what you've taken away with yoi

And ..truthontrial.....people go the toilet multiple times a day and are used to it but present a new mother with the choice of breastfeeding and you expect women to not have feelings about that? You can't compare the two. You don't 'defacate' out of your boobs do you!!!!

*you

And that's the point ....FF babies do thrive.
This idea that by making an informed decision to FF women are doing their babies a huge disservice is wrong.

Iat this exchange, not the strength of feeling, but the use of abusive language to other women.*

If people are going to act like dicks, they’re not going to be immune from getting it with both barrels just because they’re women. How odd

Babies do not deserve to be breastfed, they deserve to be fed. Babies do not want to be breastfed, they want to be fed.

If anyone wants to feel sorry for my daughter they should feel sorry for her for the first days of her life when I was starving her because the NHS had done such a number on me in antenatal classes which were focused so much more on demonising formula than on explaining breastfeeding or giving proper information on the actual proven benefits instead of the wildly overblown liquid gold stuff that I was terrified to give her any formula when she needed it because she would. not. feed.

She doesn’t need any of you patronising people feeling sorry for her for having a mother who finally saw sense and gave her a fucking bottle.

I am always struck by how little some women think mothers matter. It doesn't matter if you are in agony, if your mental health is shot, if you are getting little sleep, all that matters is the baby.
I disagree. I think mothers matter too.

Exactly. Women, know your place at the bottom of the fucking pile. Unless you’re putting everyone else’s needs above your own at all times, you’re “selfish”.

Appalling.

Benes.....they absolutely do thrive, I can vouch for that.

If women are being put under undue pressure to FF that’s wrong. (I’m sure some are, but not where I live, that’s for sure). Women being put under undue pressure to BF, even if it’s dressed up as “oh but the evil formula companies taking advantage of you” and “your poor lickle baby wabies having to swallow all those chemicals” is not ok either.

I couldn’t see it in the new vulnerable mother fog but I can see what you are doing now and it’s not ok.

Me too. My FF DS is now 4 and is a very healthy, bright little boy.

I certainly don't feel like I've done him any harm in choosing to FF . It's what worked for our family.

It's not only about the actual milk, although that is best.

Women who don't bf need to make their own choices around being fully informed as there are so many benefits.

If what's at the heart of it is social pressure then that removes choice.

It's all about increasing fully informed choice, the FF only offers powdered milk for mixing with water and serving in sterile bottles. This is going to work perfectly for some, especially when bf is not medically possible, or just too painful and causing problems to wellbeing of either DM or baby.

Understanding what makes women want to try bf, or not, is an important part of our community lives and the messages that women and DC get about their choices going forward.

Frankly my daughter’s life outcomes have probably been more affected by what I chose to call her than how I chose to feed her.