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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be unsure about going for ££ Michelin Star lunch ££

389 replies

DismalDaughter · 03/07/2019 14:54

I’ll try and keep it brief! I appreciate it’s a First World Problem....

Very close friend has big birthday coming up. We have been friends forever and our DHs are friends too. They have no DCs, no pets, no mortgage - just 2 big fat salaries / bonuses / shares and lots of exotic holidays!

On the other hand DH and I have a substantial mortgage, DCs and pets! DH is our breadwinner. He works very long hours to provide for us. I was a SAHM but now work p/t and term time. I earn peanuts. My (our!) choice - DH earns enough and I wanted to be home for DCs.

We don’t have much of a social life as no family nearby, but we have maintained this friendship (and others) buy socialising mainly at our house over the years. No issues - we provide food and booze and they bring along pudding and more booze, and sometimes sweets for kids. All good!

DCs are now at high school so it feels as though ever so slowly we are starting to get our lives back a bit. We’ll leave kids home alone for a couple of hours from time to time to go shopping or for lunch, and once to the cinema. Kids are happy to be left and well behaved - so no problem with this.

So... DF has suggested that for her upcoming 50th she’d like the 4 of us to go for a posh lunch. DH would like to go and says we can afford it as a “once in a lifetime experience”. But I’ve looked at the website and I reckon for the 2 of us it’d be about £700 😵 Dates are released 3 months in advance so we need to make a decision. I get that for them it’s about a day’s salary (between them) but for me that’s over a month’s pay! And I’m really struggling to get my head round that. Even though DH has a career, like I say we have a mortgage, kids, pets etc.

I don’t know, I wouldn’t hesitate to go on holiday or pay for DCs to go on school trips. But this just seems a bit OTT. Out of my comfort zone I suppose. Or am I missing the point? Will it be worth every penny? I’d appreciate views! And as I said at the start, I do appreciate it’s a “nice” dilemma to have.

Are any of you experienced Michelin star lunchers?! Would I regret not going?!

OP posts:
IvanaPee · 03/07/2019 14:56

For one lunch that’s too much and dh and I are very financially comfortable.

It’s not about the affordability (for me) but the sheer ridiculousness of spending someone’s salary on a lunch!

HopelessLayout · 03/07/2019 14:57

It won't be worth every penny, or even a fraction of that, and you will sit there the whole time regretting the cost.

That's my experience of a similar experience!

I would decline, unless your friend and her husband are treating you!

IvanaPee · 03/07/2019 14:58

And be aware that there might be an expectation for you all to split birthday girl’s bill!

nokidshere · 03/07/2019 14:59

Which restaurant?

Hoppinggreen · 03/07/2019 15:00

That’s about a days combined salary for us too and there’s no chance I would go. No food is worth that
I can be pretty extravagant but that’s literally flushing £700 down the toilet

SpottedOnMN · 03/07/2019 15:00

I've been somewhere that expensive and it was an incredible experience that I enjoy remembering, but I wouldn't have spent my own money on it.

Constance1234 · 03/07/2019 15:01

I’ve been to a few starred restaurant over the years but have never spent anywhere near £700 on a lunch for two - or even a dinner and lunch is usually less expensive! Although I’m sure it’s possible. Which restaurant is it? Maybe someone will come along who has been there and let you know what they think.

Rezie · 03/07/2019 15:02

It's one on those things that are worth it for some people. For others is not.if £700 is an ammount you struggle with, then it is not worth it.

RosaWaiting · 03/07/2019 15:03

I would literally have to be a billionaire before I would consider that.

It's food. That's all.

OneThreadOnly0101 · 03/07/2019 15:03

Is it The Fat Duck? I haven't been. I considered it once upon a time, but the price is so ridiculous now and I refuse to jump through stupid hoops to book a table.

Snowy81 · 03/07/2019 15:04

Every mouthful will cost you about £20...... actually that’s 140 mouthfuls, so probably it will be more than that! Can you saviour each one, knowing how much it will be? If you are financially very well off, than go for it, but if you can’t, then I wouldn’t. If one of the dc came home the day after and said I need £700 for a school trip would you still have the money there? If the boiler needed replacing could you still easily do it? If something major happens to the car, could you afford it? That’s the things you need to be looking at and weighing up I think personally (but hey I’m skint, so probably not the best to give advice!).

HumptyNumptyNooNoo · 03/07/2019 15:05

I've been to quite a few MStar restaurants... not all end up THAT expensive. I'd say maybe up to £200 per person .... but I've only done evenings, so not sure if lunch is different ?!?? Although I did go to the ivy for lunch recently don't think it was outrageous?! Lots of business peeps in there . (Can't remember if that's MDtar'd ! Don't think it is ?!? )

Gilbert1A · 03/07/2019 15:08

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Nowisthemonthofmaying · 03/07/2019 15:11

There are absolutely shit loads of Michelin starred restaurants in London which do set lunches for under £70 per head - can you suggest one of those instead? I love an extravagant lunch but given your financial situation, unless you're real foodies who have always wanted to eat there, it's probably not worth it. If they're real friends they understand that it's just not doable for you right now.

Whatafustercluck · 03/07/2019 15:11

That's a lot of dosh, even for a 3 Michelin star, for lunch. We had lunch at Restaurant Gordon Ramsay for my 30th birthday and it came to £170 for two of us. It was 10 years ago but don't think it would have increased in price by £500 since then! My parents have been to L'enclume and paid around £300 for a many-course taster menu for dinner. I'd love to know what restaurant it is op! But no, I love good food and would not be prepared to pay £700 for a meal. Unless it included the flight there!

Rafflesway · 03/07/2019 15:11

Not a hope in hell would I go despite being able to afford it.

However, I have a very easy get out excuse as I am a mega fussy eater and could guarantee I would only be able to eat dessert. Can't bear garlic, truffles, oils, balsamic, mayo etc.etc.etc. The list is endless! Sometimes being a fussy eater proves useful.🙂

Seriously though, anyone who spends that amount of money is either billing to someone else or is trying to prove how wealthy flash they are. We have several friends who are self made millionaires and if presented with a menu showing those prices, their first response would be, "You're having a laugh aren't you?"

Pipandmum · 03/07/2019 15:14

If she’s such a good friend just tell her you’d love to go but that restaurant is too expensive for you. Think of an alternative and suggest their.
And I would not think the expectation would be for you three to pay for the birthday woman’s lunch but for the husband to pay for her lunch.

Daffodil2018 · 03/07/2019 15:15

Must be the Fat Duck I reckon. Could I suggest you look at the Hind's Head instead? Also Heston-run, also in Bray, but considerably cheaper than the FD. The menu has lots of similar dishes and the food is incredible.

TeenTimesTwo · 03/07/2019 15:17

However good a meal is, I wouldn't enjoy it at that price, so I would decline. My taste buds just aren't that refined.

Missingstreetlife · 03/07/2019 15:17

Too much. I like a posh meal but that's ridiculous

BorisBadunov · 03/07/2019 15:19

It depends on the restaurant. You can have lunch at Alain Ducasse or Marcus Waring for much less (and the food is great). But yes, if you’re thinking Fat Pig, £700 is probably right. Your DH is right though to say it’s an amazing experience.

I reckon by your ballpark this includes a flight of paired wines?

Even so, honestly, I’m not sure I would ever pay a month’s salary on a meal. And I’m a sucker for a nice restaurant...

BorisBadunov · 03/07/2019 15:21

Sorry, Fat Duck not pig 🐷!

Liverbird77 · 03/07/2019 15:21

That's an insane amount of money to spend on a lunch.
Would you even enjoy it, knowing it was a month's salary???
I think it is off of your friend to even suggest it. It would be one thing if they were treating you (although I wouldn't feel good about that either), but they surely know you have a lot more outgoings than them?
I would decline.

AskMeHow · 03/07/2019 15:23

I've been to a few expensive Michelin places but I wouldn't pay £700 even for two people. I wouldn't enjoy it knowing how much it was costing, I really wouldn't.

The ones I've been to will do a set tasting menu type thing for £100ish per head for lunch. Drinks on top but you can have tap water, they won't care.

I would suggest somewhere else. Say you can't afford it and see what they come up with.

alfagirl73 · 03/07/2019 15:24

That sounds an awful lot even for a Michelin Star restaurant - I've been to Gordon Ramsay's in London and Le Gavroche too and neither were anything like that amount... of course if you have lots of expensive wine etc... it will push the price up. Lunch is usually a set price for 2 or 3 courses and usually less than dinner. I wouldn't pay £700 for dinner unless it was cooked personally by Michel Roux and fed to me slowly by Hugh Jackman (naked).... and I love fine dining and am happy to pay a hefty amount for a meal. There are plenty nice Michelin Star restaurants that don't cost that amount.