to be unsure about going for ££ Michelin Star lunch ££

[DismalDaughter]

I’ll try and keep it brief! I appreciate it’s a First World Problem....

Very close friend has big birthday coming up. We have been friends forever and our DHs are friends too. They have no DCs, no pets, no mortgage - just 2 big fat salaries / bonuses / shares and lots of exotic holidays!

On the other hand DH and I have a substantial mortgage, DCs and pets! DH is our breadwinner. He works very long hours to provide for us. I was a SAHM but now work p/t and term time. I earn peanuts. My (our!) choice - DH earns enough and I wanted to be home for DCs.

We don’t have much of a social life as no family nearby, but we have maintained this friendship (and others) buy socialising mainly at our house over the years. No issues - we provide food and booze and they bring along pudding and more booze, and sometimes sweets for kids. All good!

DCs are now at high school so it feels as though ever so slowly we are starting to get our lives back a bit. We’ll leave kids home alone for a couple of hours from time to time to go shopping or for lunch, and once to the cinema. Kids are happy to be left and well behaved - so no problem with this.

So... DF has suggested that for her upcoming 50th she’d like the 4 of us to go for a posh lunch. DH would like to go and says we can afford it as a “once in a lifetime experience”. But I’ve looked at the website and I reckon for the 2 of us it’d be about £700 😵 Dates are released 3 months in advance so we need to make a decision. I get that for them it’s about a day’s salary (between them) but for me that’s over a month’s pay! And I’m really struggling to get my head round that. Even though DH has a career, like I say we have a mortgage, kids, pets etc.

I don’t know, I wouldn’t hesitate to go on holiday or pay for DCs to go on school trips. But this just seems a bit OTT. Out of my comfort zone I suppose. Or am I missing the point? Will it be worth every penny? I’d appreciate views! And as I said at the start, I do appreciate it’s a “nice” dilemma to have.

Are any of you experienced Michelin star lunchers?! Would I regret not going?!

Gordon Bennett. How much????

Ivana - OK there is a lot of theatrics around the unveiling of the food, but I could live without that., TBH. The food is incredible, however. Go.

I have occasionally been to Michelin Star restaurants, I've never paid £350 per person! You can if you go for expensive wines, there's no real limit, but I most certainly didn't.

Lunch is much much cheaper than diner and you can find amazing restaurants for a reasonable price. Nothing wrong in spending whatever you want, but you don't have to, even to go to Michelin star level

Just looked if it is the Fat Duck the answer is a big fat no.

Took me a while to find the prices. £325 per person for the food, drinks and tips are extra.

And they have 3 different wine pairings with the "gold" being £990 PER PERSON....

Fainting dead away.

It would probably be an amazing experience but it would be a pretty big investment in lunch

‘A Fat Duck style gastrodrama doesn't appeal to me much’

Ditto. Read some Proust and then go somewhere that’ll do a three course lunch for under £90 pp.

Could you compromise on a lesser MS place?

We go every year for mine and DH’a birthday treat, BUT we save up for it (and our annual holiday) all year. We’re not loaded by any standards; I’m a teacher, DH self-employed, one DD and planning another, mortgage in v pricy Home Counties village. Not sure if we could justify it for someone else’s birthday 😂

We recently went to Marcus Wareing’s place and that came to c £300 for two of us and I wouldn’t say it was worth it tbh. Depends on where you are in the country, but two that we have loved in the past and have been much lower in price are Ormer and Benares, both in Mayfair. We actually preferred them to Marcus!

bearbehind yes I questioned myself as soon as I'd posted it so I went to have a look and you're right.

@TheBossOfMe thanks!!

I’m sort of torn between intrigue and worrying about finding the theatrics embarrassing! 😂

*DH said he’d expect to pay about £10 just for a bottle of water.^ Most restaurants I've been to recently have offered water for the table on the house - unless you prefer bottled water? Why would you need a new outfit - I think you might be exaggerating the cost a bit.

Ivana - this is a good description of the Fat Duck experience:

www.telegraph.co.uk/food-and-drink/restaurants/the-fat-duck-first-taste-of-the-new-menu/

X post about them treating you.

Just tell them you can’t spend that kind of money on lunch - it’s not remotely embarrassing.

It’s actually obscene to expect you to.

You have to be on mega bucks for £700 for lunch to be considered OK

I went to the Fat Duck a couple of years ago and, including a couple of glasses of champagne to start, paired wine and service, the bill came to around £1k for 2. It was, without doubt, one of the best meals I've ever had and, without spoiling the surprise element, the only meal to date that has ever made me cry (in a good way!). But I wouldn't be spending that sort of money if it wasn't something DH and I both love (we saved for it for two years beforehand as it was something we both wanted to do).

£700!!!! Wow, £200, for a really nice treat, OK, but not £700!

shop.waterside-inn.co.uk/doggie-random-rewards-tin-50g/

M. Roux senior has made dog treats. That should be worth a star ⭐️

Fat Duck is amazing for dinner. I didn't even know they did lunch - no way would I want to sit through all the theatrics in the middle of the day!

That is ridiculous. I've eaten in Michelin starred restaurants and although the food is generally lovely it certainly isn't worth £350 a head for lunch.

I couldn't. It would be a full month's wage for me. I just wouldn't be able to enjoy it.

I can afford it.. I'm still saying.. FUCK THAT

My DH is a foodie and we go to a M star restaurant maybe once or twice a year. £700 is daft for food and wine however well off you are. I think you should say it’s just too expensive.

I didn't think it was worth it and my boss was paying. I'd have preferred a bonus.

@SinkGirl I've been to Le Gavroche and I wouldn't return - the service there is incredibly formal - friendly though - the kids were very amused, but it was the food though - dull and the ice cream at the end was a big melted mess - in hindsight I should have complained (but that often puts a bigger downer on the meal) and I shouldn't have had to, the waiter should not have put a plate of melted ice cream down in front of me - poor attention to a very big detail! Much prefer The Ledbury...but generally they all end towards being a bit too stuffy for my taste.

IME most people at the Fat Duck are there on company expenses - which tends to alleviate the pain of the cost! Le Manoir is great if you're paying for yourself. As is Le Gavroche, Gravetye Manor, and any number of very good places.

If they've made clear it's 50:50, it's more than fine to laugh gaily and say you have hungry children to feed instead.

Wish them a good time and say you're all about the company, why don't they come over for dinner another time.

Some people always manage to make their 'invitation' sound like an ultimatum that's difficult to refuse. It's not an invitation - it's 50:50.

If they're guilting you re the birthday aspect, say you'd love nothing more but life won't allow it.

One might venture it was pushy and inconsiderate of people to want to celebrate their own lives on your bank account.

@WholelottaPaint I quite like stuffy sometimes!

without spoiling the surprise element, the only meal to date that has ever made me cry (in a good way!)

please do not go to the Vatican.