to be unsure about going for ££ Michelin Star lunch ££

[DismalDaughter]

I’ll try and keep it brief! I appreciate it’s a First World Problem....

Very close friend has big birthday coming up. We have been friends forever and our DHs are friends too. They have no DCs, no pets, no mortgage - just 2 big fat salaries / bonuses / shares and lots of exotic holidays!

On the other hand DH and I have a substantial mortgage, DCs and pets! DH is our breadwinner. He works very long hours to provide for us. I was a SAHM but now work p/t and term time. I earn peanuts. My (our!) choice - DH earns enough and I wanted to be home for DCs.

We don’t have much of a social life as no family nearby, but we have maintained this friendship (and others) buy socialising mainly at our house over the years. No issues - we provide food and booze and they bring along pudding and more booze, and sometimes sweets for kids. All good!

DCs are now at high school so it feels as though ever so slowly we are starting to get our lives back a bit. We’ll leave kids home alone for a couple of hours from time to time to go shopping or for lunch, and once to the cinema. Kids are happy to be left and well behaved - so no problem with this.

So... DF has suggested that for her upcoming 50th she’d like the 4 of us to go for a posh lunch. DH would like to go and says we can afford it as a “once in a lifetime experience”. But I’ve looked at the website and I reckon for the 2 of us it’d be about £700 😵 Dates are released 3 months in advance so we need to make a decision. I get that for them it’s about a day’s salary (between them) but for me that’s over a month’s pay! And I’m really struggling to get my head round that. Even though DH has a career, like I say we have a mortgage, kids, pets etc.

I don’t know, I wouldn’t hesitate to go on holiday or pay for DCs to go on school trips. But this just seems a bit OTT. Out of my comfort zone I suppose. Or am I missing the point? Will it be worth every penny? I’d appreciate views! And as I said at the start, I do appreciate it’s a “nice” dilemma to have.

Are any of you experienced Michelin star lunchers?! Would I regret not going?!

Wow! Expecting someone to fork out 50/50 to celebrate your birthday at their huge expense is a fucking pisstake. And you need to 'pluck up the courage' to tell them no? Seriously? Grow a pair, this 'friend' is quite an inconsiderate, entitled cow. Just message her back, 'Sounds lovely but unfortunately we won't be able to join you.' I try to consider my friends' varying economic conditions and stresses.

Off topic slightly but I want to give another recommendation for Le Gavroche. My favourite restaurant! Just amazing food at an amazing price if you go for the business lunch. It’s posh but not at all stuffy and as a previous poster said, Michel Roux Jnr comes round to every single table to say hello and thank you for choosing his restaurant.

Can’t wait to go back next time we are in London (if we can manage to get a table 🙈)

£700 is less than a days salary for us and I still think it’s not worth it for lunch!

Thanks @nokidshere @nowisthemonthofmaying
I just had a look at Le manoir and the veggie menu stated the whole table had to have the same (if I understood correctly). But my boyfriend is definitely not veggie and I was thinking for his 21st

We went to the Fat Duck a few years ago and I think it was heading for £500 due the two of us then but it was outstounding.

Not just the food but the whole experience. I left feeling like I'd been on holiday,like I'd taken some time out of my everyday existence and visited somewhere amazing.

If you can afford it then I'd say definitely go, however don't if you feel in any way that you'd rather spend the money on something else or feel it's too expensive. Amazing as it was there is no point in bankrupting yourself for the experience.

I have also been to the Fat Duck and although the food is pretty good and clever ( more clever than good in my opinion ) I was very under whelmed and disappointed maybe because there was just the two of us in our party ? it really didnt deliver the wow factor..although I know others who have loved it
We also went the the Hand of Flowers , and that was seriously not
worth it

@TheBossOfMe I'm guessing a lot of people like a bit of stuffy formal service, it's never been me - I like interesting food and a fun experience. I find it particularly frustrating when they promote themselves as all modern and relaxed and what they just mean a bit tardy - I'm looking at you Pollen Street Social - where we had to beg for the wine menu! That polished me off - I'm sworn off the buggers now and I can see why some chefs decide to avoid chasing Michelin stars and focus on serving good food instead with a little less pomp.

I'm really cross because I can't see the flaming Fat Duck menu in my browser, however much I click on that immensely annoying magnifying glass on the map of France. I've been lucky enough to eat at quite a few Michelin starred places in France and Switzerland, and I agree, I'm not that keen on the formality of some of them, even if the gastronomic experience is exceptional. But I certainly wouldn't pay £350 per head for lunch, even if it included a flight of wine. Also, I love snails but that snail porridge thing of his has always looked very unappealing to me. So, no, OP, unless your friends are actually offering to pay for you as well as themselves, which they clearly aren't, YANBU to say no, if everyone's right and it's the Fat Duck. Also, the Manoir aux Quat'Saisons seems more relaxed and better value!

Also it was the Raby Hunt that said they cannot cater for those who were surprised

My dh went there and while it was amazing he wasnt into the food at all. You need to have an adventurous appetite to want to try the food. It was a work celebration meal so luckily he didnt have to pay considering he wasted alot of it.

@SickOfBeingFat
www.theledbury.com/vegetarian-tasting-menu/

A lot of them now have a veggie menu though and they definitely cater for allergies - Locanda Locatelli is incredibly flexible - his dc has allergies and so is extra sympathetic.

@WholelottaPaint OMG I loathe Pollen Street Social, and Little Social is even worse. Good food marred by appalling service.

Stuffy has it's place. Usually when I have to dine with someone I don't really want to talk to. Sitting in silence seems OK in stuffy surroundings!

With friends, I tend to the relaxed. And not so expensive!

he hasn't got a Michelin star ..yet ! but if you are in London go to Adam Handling's the Frog in Convent Garden , or maybe his new one in Chelsea ( havent been there yet ) his food is outstanding

There are lots of very good restaurants at much more reasonable prices , even starred ones

"I'm really cross because I can't see the flaming Fat Duck menu in my browser,"

Me neither, but the pretentious wank that I can see would definitely put me off going even if the price already hadn't!

YANBU and she's royally entitled expecting you to fork out that much.

Fat Duck?
It's lovely, but not if that's a months salary for you.
Honestly, the cost will spoil it for you.

There are other lovely (Michelin) restaurants where you can have a fabulous lunch for less than £200 per head including wine: still a mad extravagance but approx. half the fat duck taster menu and 2 glasses of wine each.

@WholelottaPaint Thank you!

yes
I went for lunch in Wales, I think there is only one.
Very poor. As a vegetarian it was mediocre.
No attempt at local produce
No attempt at seasonal ingredients.
Expensive for what I received
In vogue decor that was too 'hard' so noisy.
Grumpy reception staff.
Left feeling a mug for paying for such a sad meal, though meal it was in time spent at a table only.
Would have stopped at a chippy on the way back if one had been on my route.
As you can see it still grates ..... a couple of years later.

A friend went to a London star for lunch. Really liked the food. £300 for two.
But had a KFC off the street after as the portions were minuscule.

Setting yourself up for disappointment if you go. I'd skip.

I should also add we did the Fat Duck tasting menu with matching wines....seriously not a good idea , we lost the will the live

Given you have cooked every meal for them AND they have tons more money than you, I think they should treat you.

Lots of Michelin starred restaurants do set lunches. The Kitchin in Edinburgh (well Leith) is £35 for example. £700 is insane.

pelirocco123

I’m taking that tip, thanks!

I was taken to a Michelin restaurant once on a date. The décor was stunning, the service impeccable. The food - for me a non foodie - was quite nice. But it was a little over £600 for 2. We got our money's worth though as we were the last to leave. I wouldn't bother doing it again though.

Everyone is different, some are foodies, some enjoy a bit of fun with friends, some like/don't like too much formality and hovering over you.

As for me, I would be like Hyacinth Bouquet's quivering neighbour with the periwinkle china. I just do not like anything stuffy and formal at all, and I am sure I would knock over the red wine on the pristine starched white tablecloths!

But anyway, even if I could afford it, there is no way I would spend that amount of money on a lunch. EVER!

For that money I would prefer to fly to Bordeaux, stay the night and have a lovely dinner and great wine somewhere nice and relaxed.

I've been to The Kitchin quite a few times, it costs us £100 each for the tasting menu with a decent tip but no drinks (water and tea only)
It's so wonderful, I also got a card, a special dessert and taken into the Kitchen to meet Tom for my 40th, they made a huge fuss of me.