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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be unsure about going for ££ Michelin Star lunch ££

389 replies

DismalDaughter · 03/07/2019 14:54

I’ll try and keep it brief! I appreciate it’s a First World Problem....

Very close friend has big birthday coming up. We have been friends forever and our DHs are friends too. They have no DCs, no pets, no mortgage - just 2 big fat salaries / bonuses / shares and lots of exotic holidays!

On the other hand DH and I have a substantial mortgage, DCs and pets! DH is our breadwinner. He works very long hours to provide for us. I was a SAHM but now work p/t and term time. I earn peanuts. My (our!) choice - DH earns enough and I wanted to be home for DCs.

We don’t have much of a social life as no family nearby, but we have maintained this friendship (and others) buy socialising mainly at our house over the years. No issues - we provide food and booze and they bring along pudding and more booze, and sometimes sweets for kids. All good!

DCs are now at high school so it feels as though ever so slowly we are starting to get our lives back a bit. We’ll leave kids home alone for a couple of hours from time to time to go shopping or for lunch, and once to the cinema. Kids are happy to be left and well behaved - so no problem with this.

So... DF has suggested that for her upcoming 50th she’d like the 4 of us to go for a posh lunch. DH would like to go and says we can afford it as a “once in a lifetime experience”. But I’ve looked at the website and I reckon for the 2 of us it’d be about £700 😵 Dates are released 3 months in advance so we need to make a decision. I get that for them it’s about a day’s salary (between them) but for me that’s over a month’s pay! And I’m really struggling to get my head round that. Even though DH has a career, like I say we have a mortgage, kids, pets etc.

I don’t know, I wouldn’t hesitate to go on holiday or pay for DCs to go on school trips. But this just seems a bit OTT. Out of my comfort zone I suppose. Or am I missing the point? Will it be worth every penny? I’d appreciate views! And as I said at the start, I do appreciate it’s a “nice” dilemma to have.

Are any of you experienced Michelin star lunchers?! Would I regret not going?!

OP posts:
Mrsboombastic99 · 03/07/2019 16:11

No way would I pay £700 for lunch. No matter how lovely it was, I wouldn't enjoy it knowing how much it was about to cost me. I'd probably suggest that they go and enjoy themselves and that you do something else together another time. If you are close friends I'm sure they will understand.

Knobrob · 03/07/2019 16:11

'unfortunately we are going to have to say no as having looked at the prices it's simply far far too expensive for us. Would you like to come to ours after for a bottle of prosecco?' or something similar. It's not difficult.

Alliumlove · 03/07/2019 16:12

DH and I went to the Fat Duck for lunch last year to celebrate a big anniversary. I did balk at the price, but honestly it was a once in a lifetime type experience, and tremendous fun. The service was exceptional (and we have eaten at a fair few top end places). There really wasn't any of the horrible flashy behaviour I may have worried about, and it was all beautifully low key.

I'm not in a hurry to go back, but I am so glad to have tried it. I would love to go to the Manoir aux Quatre Saisons though.

LittleWalnutTree · 03/07/2019 16:13

For £700 I'd want to be taken there by helicopter.

UrsulaPandress · 03/07/2019 16:15

I've been know to shed tears over food.

But no way would I part with that sort of money for a dining experience.

Marylou2 · 03/07/2019 16:15

Yes I suppose could afford to pay £700 for lunch for 2 but I definitely wouldn't. Plenty of absolutely lovely places to go for a fraction of this price. Just tell them honestly that it's too expensive and not your sort of thing. I'd just laugh it off and say that more a romantic lunch for two place.

trackingmedown · 03/07/2019 16:15

Just be honest. I used to have friends that were better off than me and I found if I was very clear from the start that XXX was way out of my price range, they would accept it without any ill feeling on either side.

So tell her (in your own words of course), that it's a lovely idea but you just can’t afford it at the moment. Suggest she and her DH go as a couple and then come round to yours for dinner/bbq/whatever on such and such a date to celebrate her big day and tell you all about it.

SockQueen · 03/07/2019 16:16

I took DH to the Fat Duck (and L'Enclume Blush ) for his 30th - pre-kids, both on full time decent salaries, so it was expensive but doable. I have to say I was a bit underwhelmed, felt like the staff were going through the motions a bit, and I was gutted that the Mad Hatters Tea Party thing wasn't as tasty as I thought it would be. There are loads of Michelin starred places around that do lunch deals which are MUCH better value. Not that I've been to any since having DS.

TheFlis12345 · 03/07/2019 16:16

We went to Le Manoir for lunch and it came to about £230 a head for lunch but didn’t scrimp on the drinks, had champagne beforehand, pudding wine etc. It was worth every penny but £350 a head sounds one step too far if you don’t have pots of money.

StrongTea · 03/07/2019 16:17

Even if I had that sort of money I wouldn’t/couldn’t pay that for a meal.

Derbee · 03/07/2019 16:18

Nothing wrong with saying you can’t/won’t pay for such an expensive meal! We could easily afford it, but there’s absolutely no way we would do it! Seems crazy. Absolutely not embarrassing or awkward to say it’s not something you can do. They can have an expensive date, and you can celebrate the birthday with them in a different way.

SickOfBeingFat · 03/07/2019 16:18

A bit off topic but do any Michelin star restaurants do a vegetarian menu? As the one near me says they cannot cater to veggies/pescatarians/allergies

NKFell · 03/07/2019 16:18

I did the taster menu at a Michelin star restaurant and it's not something I could usually afford, I saved for it and went with my brother and his wife...IT WAS BRILLIANT!

We loved the experience.

Sparkletastic · 03/07/2019 16:20

We went to Le Manoir and it came to about £175 a head (didn't drink much as at lunch time). Well worth it but was for DH and my 40ths. Would do that for a friend's.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 03/07/2019 16:20

I prefer Le manoir and gavroche over fat duck. I don’t like to be overstuffed and I like tasting menus I can handle!

nokidshere · 03/07/2019 16:20

@SickOfBeingFat we have eaten at quite a few Michelin star restaurants and DH is vegetarian. never had a problem.

Hecketyheck · 03/07/2019 16:20

I reckon by your ballpark this includes a flight of paired wines?

Sod a flight of paired wines, I'd want a flight full stop for £700!!

OP, YANBU to say you can't afford to go. We've had things before where we've said "we can afford it, but we're not choosing to spend our money like that" - obviously not in quite such an up-your-own-arse sort of way, but basically saying that that is the same amount of money as you'd spend on a family holiday and you can't justify it on a couple of hours.

Shoppingwithmother · 03/07/2019 16:21

I’ve been to quite a few Michelin starred restaurants and none have been anything like that expensive.

The best place I’ve ever been to (Ynyshir) cost about that much for dinner and staying there the night and breakfast. The dinner comprised nearly 20 courses and was amazing.

£350 each for lunch though is just ridiculous. Lunch is usually cheaper at these places as well!

I would never pay ten quid for a bottle of water though - just ask for two water.

I would be concerned about spending all that money just because your friends want to from what you have said.

If you feel that you would like to go somewhere like this it can be done without being so expensive and it might be more enjoyable just you and your husband going where you choose. (I am not very sociable though!!)

Also if it is the Fat Duck, I’m not sure I could stomach giving Heston all my money!!

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 03/07/2019 16:21

As the one near me says they cannot cater to veggies/pescatarians/allergies

that's shocking! as they are expected to cook everything from fresh, they are the first place I would have thought safe for allergies. If they don't want to do a different menu for preferences, that's one thing, but I would never have imagined one refusing to deal with allergies.

LaurieMarlow · 03/07/2019 16:22

That seems a lot, but we used to (pre kids) do lots of michelin type places for lunch and spent about 150 per lunch. I really enjoyed it.

Nowisthemonthofmaying · 03/07/2019 16:22

@sickofbeingfat I'm veggie and have eaten at many a Michelin starred restaurant in London over the years and all of them have had separate veggie menus available - including tasting menus! I guess it might be different for smaller or more specialised places though.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 03/07/2019 16:22

The tasting menu at the Ledbury is very good. And no ridiculous theatrics Wink

TonTonMacoute · 03/07/2019 16:22

Agree with PPs, I have been to several Michelin starred restaurants, and never paid close to £700 for dinner, let alone lunch.

DH went to the Fat Duck this year without me but that's a whole other story and was underwhelmed too.

diddl · 03/07/2019 16:22

Nope.

Cannot imagine any food "gastronomic experience" ever being worth that price.

Tbh I wouldn't want to pay it even though I could.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 03/07/2019 16:24

In short OP, I would suggest one of the more reasonable lunch time menus in a myriad of Michelin starred restaurants. Whereabouts are you?