to be unsure about going for ££ Michelin Star lunch ££

[DismalDaughter]

I’ll try and keep it brief! I appreciate it’s a First World Problem....

Very close friend has big birthday coming up. We have been friends forever and our DHs are friends too. They have no DCs, no pets, no mortgage - just 2 big fat salaries / bonuses / shares and lots of exotic holidays!

On the other hand DH and I have a substantial mortgage, DCs and pets! DH is our breadwinner. He works very long hours to provide for us. I was a SAHM but now work p/t and term time. I earn peanuts. My (our!) choice - DH earns enough and I wanted to be home for DCs.

We don’t have much of a social life as no family nearby, but we have maintained this friendship (and others) buy socialising mainly at our house over the years. No issues - we provide food and booze and they bring along pudding and more booze, and sometimes sweets for kids. All good!

DCs are now at high school so it feels as though ever so slowly we are starting to get our lives back a bit. We’ll leave kids home alone for a couple of hours from time to time to go shopping or for lunch, and once to the cinema. Kids are happy to be left and well behaved - so no problem with this.

So... DF has suggested that for her upcoming 50th she’d like the 4 of us to go for a posh lunch. DH would like to go and says we can afford it as a “once in a lifetime experience”. But I’ve looked at the website and I reckon for the 2 of us it’d be about £700 😵 Dates are released 3 months in advance so we need to make a decision. I get that for them it’s about a day’s salary (between them) but for me that’s over a month’s pay! And I’m really struggling to get my head round that. Even though DH has a career, like I say we have a mortgage, kids, pets etc.

I don’t know, I wouldn’t hesitate to go on holiday or pay for DCs to go on school trips. But this just seems a bit OTT. Out of my comfort zone I suppose. Or am I missing the point? Will it be worth every penny? I’d appreciate views! And as I said at the start, I do appreciate it’s a “nice” dilemma to have.

Are any of you experienced Michelin star lunchers?! Would I regret not going?!

What a tremendous waste of money! Each to their own, but even if I were a millionaire I wouldn't spend that on one meal.

The codfather and village fish bar in Aber are both good. The best is in the village fish bar in Gilwern.

I haven't eaten in any for a couple of years though!

Sorry, epic thread detail there.

Derail! When are we getting an edit button?!

If you can afford it - go. If not, then don’t and explain to them why. Ive been for meals that cost about that much - was it worth it, for me yes, but it’s also a whole experience. Don’t go if you feel uncomfortable about it.

I wouldn’t enjoy eating food which was costing me that much.

Op, are you sure on the price? You indicate it's le manoir, but even their six course weekend lunch is only 145 plus service charge. I can't see how you'd spend another four hundred quid on wine water and coffee. Unless you went for it properly. Your bill would likely be in the region of four hundred.

Yeah I’ve been to a few MS restaurants , some in London, and that’s a lot! I’m guessing that includes a pricey wine flight.
I think this sort of thing is the reserve of either the very rich or a very special treat. Last time we did this it was my mum’s 70th. It’s worth the money for the experience and her pleasure, so you aren’t kicking yourself.
It sounds like it’s outside your price range so I’d politely decline and offer an alternative night somewhere normal near you.

Wow-that's ridiculous..... I'd just be honest and say you can't afford it but would like to celebrate another way ( a few driks maybe or a dinner at yours)

That's mortgage payment for us.

OP, if she has a place in mind, she pays for it. She doesn't get to stipulate the place and get you to pay. Tell her that it's out of your budget - you could look for somewhere at £xx a head, or you'd love to hear about their meal when you next see her and her DH but you won;t be able to come. For that sort of money you have to be honest.

OP, if she has a place in mind, she pays for it

Lol, so in your world, if you're going out with mates and one of them says oh I really want to go to x, they have to buy you dinner?

Right.

I would say that it is a lovely idea, but just cannot afford it at this time.

Nope. Not even if l was rolling in cash like the Grandad from Duck Tales.

For a good friend who presumably knows something of your financial circumstances, that's pretty insensitive of her. Unless she is paying, or you're overestimating the cost.