to be unsure about going for ££ Michelin Star lunch ££

[DismalDaughter]

I’ll try and keep it brief! I appreciate it’s a First World Problem....

Very close friend has big birthday coming up. We have been friends forever and our DHs are friends too. They have no DCs, no pets, no mortgage - just 2 big fat salaries / bonuses / shares and lots of exotic holidays!

On the other hand DH and I have a substantial mortgage, DCs and pets! DH is our breadwinner. He works very long hours to provide for us. I was a SAHM but now work p/t and term time. I earn peanuts. My (our!) choice - DH earns enough and I wanted to be home for DCs.

We don’t have much of a social life as no family nearby, but we have maintained this friendship (and others) buy socialising mainly at our house over the years. No issues - we provide food and booze and they bring along pudding and more booze, and sometimes sweets for kids. All good!

DCs are now at high school so it feels as though ever so slowly we are starting to get our lives back a bit. We’ll leave kids home alone for a couple of hours from time to time to go shopping or for lunch, and once to the cinema. Kids are happy to be left and well behaved - so no problem with this.

So... DF has suggested that for her upcoming 50th she’d like the 4 of us to go for a posh lunch. DH would like to go and says we can afford it as a “once in a lifetime experience”. But I’ve looked at the website and I reckon for the 2 of us it’d be about £700 😵 Dates are released 3 months in advance so we need to make a decision. I get that for them it’s about a day’s salary (between them) but for me that’s over a month’s pay! And I’m really struggling to get my head round that. Even though DH has a career, like I say we have a mortgage, kids, pets etc.

I don’t know, I wouldn’t hesitate to go on holiday or pay for DCs to go on school trips. But this just seems a bit OTT. Out of my comfort zone I suppose. Or am I missing the point? Will it be worth every penny? I’d appreciate views! And as I said at the start, I do appreciate it’s a “nice” dilemma to have.

Are any of you experienced Michelin star lunchers?! Would I regret not going?!

£700 for a tablespoon of frozen Icelandic mineral water and sieved French truffles, thawed by a Fortnum and Mason's gold leafed candle, and served as a chilled soup in a bejeweled Faberge Egg Shell. Followed by 20p sized and shaped portions of Venison and Canadian goose medley, arranged prettily on your plate, with a fancy avocado foam, and accompanied by a rocket salad, lightly fried in coconut oil; ending with a teaspoon of champagne sorbet, drizzled with a Scottish raspberry and single malt coulis, and 2 dots of 95% Cacao, and no, you don't get to keep the Faberget Egg Shell!

£700 most definitely not worth it, we could do so much for £700 i didnt pay a lot more than that for my half of a week in New York!!

Look, you will be letting her down, but she’s been thoughtless.

Its awkward because you can’t ask them to pay.

How about saying to her dh ‘having seen the prices, after I picked myself up from he floor, I’m sorrywe won’t be able to join you

You won't be letting her down, Op-she's planned a celebration for her that doesn't suit you.

She can still celebrate there-but you won't be part of it.

So, she can decide what is more important to her.

And let's face it there's nothing to stop her going there, & celebrating elsewhere with you, Op.

Sometimes we can't always do exactly what we want!

Eva how is it letting anyone down to refuse such an insanely expensive "invitation"?

I wouldn't spend that on a Michelin starred lunch because even though I've been lucky enough to eat at quite a few I've never paid anything like that for lunch. Even le manoir at lunch was significantly less. Plus Ive never had a new outfit to go to any of them so I've never factored that in!

Maybe if it was for your own birthday it would seem more worth it? I just think I could fly to Tenerife, eat a Michelin starred dinner at the amazing Rincon de Roberto, stay in a hotel and fly home for that money!!!!

No, that’s fair enough, I was just empathising that the OP is in a tricky position, she would not of course be letting her down, just that the conversation is tricky, leaving OP and DH either saying ‘we don’t have that sort of money’ or ‘your birthday is not what I want to spend it on’ which while true is tricky to get across without causing offence.

I think in thi sinstance you should say that you are afraid that you can't jin them as this is out of your league financially, tell them to go and enjoy their celebration and arrange an evening with them at the local italian or something.

A good friend would be paying for you if that is what they really want

I have eaten at a few M* including the Waterside where even including the overnight, breakfast and a boat trip with champagne it wasn't that much

We have been for dinner at a 2 star restaurant and lunches at a 1 and a 2 star. £700 sounds expensive, even for the full works with paired wines. Sure we have not paid more than £400 at our most extravagant. Having said that, the 2 star ones have been totally amazing experiences and well worth it. Sounds like you know these friends pretty well, so could you say something like “that sounds amazing and we would love to come, but can you give me an idea of the cost - so that we can make sure our budget can stretch to it”? Some of the very best restaurants actually do some good set lunch deals. Maybe they have that in mind?

Sorry if it's been asked already, but which restaurant is this? Did we establish it is the Fat Duck?

I'd rather spend that money going away for the weekend and eating food in another country.
But other would pay this for the experience of eating that food, so it depends what you like to spend your money on.
However it's just food whatever they want to call it..art, theatre...

It's been many years since I went to the The Waterside Inn and it was nowhere near that amount.
I met Alain Roux and it was a fantastic experience.
But £700 - Hell no!!!

We go to a Michelin starred restaurant for lunch once a year at about £300 for the pair of us with part of that paid as our Xmas present. its awesome !
But I would pay £700. Sorry. Except maybe for Noma which I’ve always wanted to go to.

I wouldn't do it - and this from a woman who spent £750 on a Olympic ticket in 2012 - yes I know not the same thing but as a friend at the time said "you could see it better on the tv for free" we all have things that we would push the boat out for and this was my thing that I agonised over. As many other posters have said I would politely decline and host them for a bbq, drinks or whatever. Book somewhere for you and DH that you want to go to idc.

Childhood holiday memories - well for me that’s fish and chips, candyfloss and vomiting in the public toilets after eating too much coconut ice.
Seriously - if when you were asked you immediately jumped at the chance and said it was something you had always wanted to do then fair enough. But if you have to think about it to this extent then I wouldn’t as I think you would just be worrying about how much it would cost and not enjoy yourself.
It’s horses for courses though - I’m shuddering at the thought of paying that much for lunch, but if someone says “we’re going to , it’s going to cost 2k”, I’m “sign me up”.

This is making OH's birthday lunch toady at Galton Blackisont's chippy in Cromer seem like the bargain of the century!
We once ate at the Box Tree in Ilkley but that was a Sinday Times offer, I wouldn't like to think I'd paid the regular prices. If you leave a restaurant not happy about you meal, a huge bill makes it even worse.
If he doesn't get a move on it'll be Mc Donald's best table for two and their tasting menu. Why does everyone critcise women for taking all day?

I regard myself as a foodie but £700??

It's a no from me.

I think if you invite people out to lunch to celebrate your birthday you pay for them, as you have chosen the restaurant.

I'm with TigerJoy, if I hadn't already made that clear, OP. I am also wondering if there is not some sort of pride and keeping up with the Joneses thing about this from your DP, OP - is he perhaps too embarrassed to say "we really can't afford this at the moment" to your friends?

I spend a lot of money on food and regularly eat at Michelin starred places, but there's no way I'd pay that for a lunch. DP would be embarrassed saying no on cost grounds though, wonder if that's what it is? Thankfully I'd have no compunction in saying 'we can get that at half a dozen places for under £100 each mate, give your head a wobble'

I think its obscene to pay £700 for a meal and I wouldn't even if I could afford to. I wouldn't be able to get rid of the feeling that the restauranteur was in the back rubbing his hands together and thinking 'look at all those barmy buggers' either.

I'm sure there was a case of a well known chef selling a cheap bottle of plonk for several hundred pounds and being amused by the naivity of the customer who had no idea. No food/drink is worth that much (even if someone else is paying).

@purpleleotard are you talking about the Walnut Tree?

correct

Ha. My family live in walking distance so I go a lot.

It's nowhere near as pricey as other restaurants that have a star and I've always (apart from the blip a few years ago) had good food there.

I agree that the decor is a bit shit and front of house are not so great.

They do find it very hard to find decent staff to work there (my brother used to work there) but really, they do need to chat about their greeter's cold attitude.

Last time we went our waitress was really good.

Where is the best fish and chips close by?