To not give DD's friend a lift?

[PotteryLottery]

DD's best friend (age 10) has said she wants space from DD and will decide in a week if she will be her friend again.

A while ago, her lovely mother asked me to give her DD a lift to a one-off activity, and I agreed as I will be taking my DD anyway. This falls within the week of "space".

AIBU to say I can no longer take the girl as she wants space?

I.e. Should my DD just have to put up with this one-off journey I agreed to before their falling out or should she not have to endure a journey with someone who won't play with her this week?

I don't think the OP was wrong. If the child accepted snacks from OPs daughter, it's polite to share hers in return. If she didn't want to share then she shouldn't take anything from other people in the first place. Having said no to sharing, she can't expect others to offer her anything in future. Hence the water. I would have given the child a drink, so I do deviate from OP here, but the child won't die from being a bit thirsty for a car journey. Obviously if journey is very long then yes she should definitely have offered water because she was responsible for the child's welfare having agreed to take her.

OP was right to let her DD sit in the front, away from the girl who has been horrible to her all week. Sitting next to a boy is not a big deal - I bet that happens at school all the time when teachers use seating plans.

OP wasn't rude to the child. She just wasn't especially friendly. Seems child misbehaved a bit during the activity - most parents would notice that if the same child had also been causing problems for their own child all week.

I would also tell my child if I didn't like how one of her friends was behaving. She didn't call the girl vulgar to her face. I might also have said girl is lucky to be getting a lift at all under the circumstances.

I wouldn't have given the lift in the first place and I think 'LM' should have taken her own child - I don't agree with forcing kids to share space with people who have been mean to them, but since OP did go ahead, I don't think she did anything particularly terrible.

Nice flounce OP

Thank goodness no more posts calling OG's mum "lovely mum", with no reason why she was so lovely, all she wanted was a lift for her DD

for DD

It would have been better had you refused the lift, than give the lift and engage in this passive aggressive behaviour. I don't blame you for not liking the girl, but not letting her have a drink was mean.

FGS the OP is not abusive to the child.
OG moaned about not having water, did not ask for water, I see no reason to offer. I don’t share my water bottle with other people, it’s a thing for me. I also have an autoimmune disease that makes me very thirsty (bonkers I know) so i now carry water everywhere. The other day I was dropping my friend and her child home and he was moaning about being thirsty. I said it’s only 20mins we’ll be there soon. Friend spied my water and asked if child could have it to
Stop him moaning. The little darling drank the whole thing leaving me thirsty! But I suppose that’s ok, if I’d refused I’d be ‘abusive’

Just take the other child, no need to push the friendship for a car ride. My daughter has a school mate turn up at random times to our house, personally am not a fan if the child but if my daughter wants her to come in to play then she does - if not door closes after polite brush off. We’ve taken other child to school on numerous occasions, children just need to learn polite indifference.

HerRoyalNotness Who said the OP was abusive? Rather that she's behaving in a bit of a mean way. She's quick to vilify the behaviour of a child, but then isn't exactly modelling good or kind behaviour herself, that's all. OP mentioned nothing about having an autoimmune disease, so her situation isn't compatible to yours. Your reason to not share water is valid, hers is some kind of passive aggressive way of punishing her child's friend.

On the c.25 min drive home, OG moaned about forgetting her water. Neither DD, the boy, nor I offered our water.

Are you proud of this? Did you forget you’re an adult? That’s so petty and mean.

If she wants some space from your dd maybe she doesn’t want to go to the event anyway. Or does she expect your dd to drop out?

(I suspect you won’t see this Op because you’ve had some horrible recent responses and so I don’t blame you.) I think you’ve dealt with it pretty well. Hope your DD is ok and that she has nicer friends or at least OG sorts herself out.