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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About DP taking drugs at festival...

165 replies

Blaba · 02/07/2019 07:22

Hi all,

My DP got back from a 5 day festival last night and whilst chatting about how it was,he casually mentioned that he took LSD, acid and ecstasy.

For a bit of background,he lost his driving license 18 months go for driving under the influence and possession of drugs.

He is by no means an addict - he takes drugs when he parties basically. Which can be once every couple of months even.

We also have a 7 month old baby and an 8 year old DS.

AIBU to be angry and think that this is completely irresponsible and immature? I don't begrudge him going out etc,but I think that he has responsibilities and it's very dangerous.

I'm probably exhausted too,our baby is teething and I've been having sleepless nights whilst he's been off his face on drugs...

Thanks for any thoughts!

OP posts:
hopeishere · 02/07/2019 07:23

Blimey. That's quite the combo of stuff. I'd be furious.

Was it Glastonbury?

colourlessgreenidea · 02/07/2019 07:25

AIBU to be angry and think that this is completely irresponsible and immature?

Are you genuinely uncertain about this? Is there a part of you that wonders if this was in fact a responsible and nature thing to do?

Justathinslice · 02/07/2019 07:26

Personally it would be a deal breaker for me. But I'm a boring old fuck

Medievalist · 02/07/2019 07:27

YANBU. At all. I don't understand why he didn't seem to think you would mind or why you weren't furious with him.

ziggiestardust · 02/07/2019 07:29

This cannot be real. Surely you’re not sat at home with a screaming, teething baby whilst he goes on a massive bender for 5 days. If it is, I need to know what job he’s doing to afford £££ worth of Glastonbury tickets and a continual drug supply to match, because I’m clearly in the wrong industry if he’s managing that plus a family.

PhannyPharts · 02/07/2019 07:30

For starters. I couldn't be with someone who thought it was ok to do drugs and drive. He could have killed someone.

And having lost his licence he learned precisely nothing and still carried on using and spending money on getting high when he has small children.

MephistophelesApprentice · 02/07/2019 07:30

LSD is acid. Lucky bugger. Personally I can think of few things less fun than an ecstacy hang over in a heat wave.

Any drugs while driving are irresponsible, but a festival (with experienced medical staff who are familiar with the environment) is probably one of the more responsible places to party hard.

SandraOhshair · 02/07/2019 07:31

He may not be an addict but hes an absolute idiot who's acting like a teenager, makes incredibly poor choices and then doesn't seem to learn from them.
I've done the glasto thing, and the recreational drugs, but not ever done them since having children.
What's the next step? Police record for being in possession?
Did losing his licence impact his job?

BellatrixLeStrangest · 02/07/2019 07:32

I hate drugs with a passion. My DP takes coke when he's on stag dos and it drives me insane but as he's not coming home (they're usually abroad) there's nothing I can do. All his friends do it too.
The thing that winds me up the most is that you just never know if you've got a dirty batch whereby one hit can kill you. If it was me in your position OP I'd be pretty pissed off. How often does he do drugs? You say when he's out partying, how often is that?

EatDessertFirst · 02/07/2019 07:32

He'd be out the door if it were me. Drugs are a dealbreaker.

What a lovely example he sets your children. I hope you both think getting wasted on chemicals is a productive use of family finances. He's lucky he's not dead after taking all that in five days!

AmericasAss · 02/07/2019 07:32

Well it depends. You clearly knew he was a recreational user. And chose to have a baby with him.

At which point did you sit down and agree that recreational drug use needed to stop now the baby was here?

You cant control what he does. Personally, I think it's dangerous and ridiculous. But then, I wouldn't even date a recreational drugs user.

Original poster
Blaba · 02/07/2019 07:32

No,it wasn't Glastonbury.

I just don't know what to say to him - when he told me I said that it was a stupid thing to do and that I was disappointed,but he doesn't see a problem with it at all.

I absolutely hate drugs and I think that anything could of happened - intact,a young man was found dead in his tent from a suspected overdose at the festival!

I just don't know what to do about it - he's so stubborn and I know that he'll do it again.

OP posts:
niceupthedanceagain · 02/07/2019 07:32

Did he drive home? If so YANBU

CalmdownJanet · 02/07/2019 07:34

Well to be fair I'd have left after he drove under the influence, was caught with drugs and lost his license. But yes I would be raging he ever touched them again after that.

Littlehouse156 · 02/07/2019 07:35

YANBU

Nautiloid · 02/07/2019 07:35

I wouldn't be able to tolerate that, not with a family. Think the driving ban would have been the end for me.

Original poster
Blaba · 02/07/2019 07:36

I was absolutely livid about the driving drugs thing - the absolute stupidity of it and the fact he could've killed someone - and yes,it affected his job and he had to pay thousands in fines etc.

And after all of that - to not have learned anything.

Just completely had enough.

OP posts:
Fairylea · 02/07/2019 07:36

How can you stay with someone like this?!

I’d be off the minute he lost his licence!

Fairylea · 02/07/2019 07:37

Sorry cross posted with you. But seriously he sounds like an absolute arse.

Far2go46 · 02/07/2019 07:37

[santa]

Branleuse · 02/07/2019 07:38

meh, acid and ecstacy at a festival is par for the course. I wouldnt be annoyed as long as he didnt impose his bloody comedown on me or expect me to pick up the slack. Most people have to be a bit more responsible when they have kids. He partied for 5 days, now he has to come back and be a grown up and if he feels like death, too bad for him

AmericasAss · 02/07/2019 07:38

But you havent learned anything either.

You chose to stay and have kids, with a recreational drug user than acting surprised when he uses drug recreationally.

He isnt going to change. You can only control what you do now.

madcatladyforever · 02/07/2019 07:40

Holy shit, I thought you were talking about your 18 year old son and was just about to say don't worry it's just a phase they go through.
Then I realised you were talking about your partner [shocked]
He'd be out of the door if he was my partner and all his stuff in the front garden.

Nanny0gg · 02/07/2019 07:41

Ignoring all the other valid reasons for leaving this idiot, where on earth does all the money to pay for this lifestyle and his fines come from? You said the driving incident impacted his job?

SandraOhshair · 02/07/2019 07:42

If hes still using drugs after the ban and the impact to his job and the costs etc and still hasn't stopped, then God knows what will.
I had a friend in your situation, she kicked DH out and kept him out for weeks.
He begged to come back and eventually she allowed him. But hes never to take drugs again, complete deal breaker.