... to hate “no sibling” parties when they’re whole year group parties?

[Octonautsoctopod]

I sort of know I am BU. But with 30 kids in the class, it’s pretty tricky to figure out what to do with DD2 when DD1 has one of her many birthday parties (DH works on Saturdays).

And also - even if DH and I could split up the task on the weekend, I feel a bit bad for DD2 who never gets any parties as she’s only 3 and DD1 who gets around 20 a year as she’s 6!

They wind anyone else up?

I’m prob being v unreasonable

YANBU, inviting siblings is basic consideration. If you can’t afford a whole class party plus siblings then don’t have a whole class party.

Well if you invite the whole class and siblings then their friends are going to feel excluded. So you should invite the Whole school and their entire extended family and friends.

Don’t forget the teaching staff, school cooks, caretakers and Radom visitors.

Do these siblings even want to go to these parties where they don't know anyone and aren't allowed to join in the party tea? I don't get why you'd even want to take a sibling.

I don’t stay at parties, I never have done and never will. I find the concept of parents staying rather bizarre with children over the age of four.

Maybe I'd consider it if it's at one of those boozy soft plays and I could get rat arsed but I agree, who wants to attend all their children's birthday parties with them?

What I don't get is what suddenly happened that meant primary school children couldn't be left at parties without a parent.

Maybe around the same time it became normal to have whole class parties?

It just seems baffling to me. Birthdays were either having up to 10 friends around for food, drink and games at home, or a small number for a treat out - usually as many as your parents could fit in the car, no more! No parents stayed behind.

I hope the culture changes back before I have kids!

I can imagine making an exception for a child with additional needs and the parents roping in a friend or two to help but I agree, parents going to parties with their kids just wasn't done in the 90s. I even read a thread here about a school disco where parents were expected to attend with their kids shudders

YANBU, inviting siblings is basic consideration. If you can’t afford a whole class party plus siblings then don’t have a whole class party.

With whole class parties siblings aren’t about affording they are about space and crowd

If you can’t deal with simple things like birthday parties then don’t have more kids than you can manage

I can only imagine the threads on here if I was CF that turned up at parties with all my kids (class parties are v common round here) with all 6 kids!

"YANBU, inviting siblings is basic consideration. If you can’t afford a whole class party plus siblings then don’t have a whole class party."

Echoing others - this is nonsense.

You could end up with 70-80 kids at a party! that's bonkers.

Are you the type of person to get an invitation to a 'adults only' wedding, and decide to take your kids anyway?

I never entertained the idea of whole-class parties. It's my idea of hell - having 30 kids running round, squawking and making merry. when they were little, just did stuff at home and invited 3 or 4 people perhaps? or did play parties in the park, again with no more an half-a dozen kids invited.

my (childless) friend once said to me "ohhh, but you've got to do a hall party at least once! it's not fair otherwise, it's part of growing up! I used to love them, they're great" - so I said she was more than welcome to organise and run one for DS... she didn't!

Guess what if I am arranging a party for 5 year olds I am not wanting to take into account 3/4/8/9 year olds .

No matter what size party I have never invited siblings unless both were my ds’s friends.

My biggest party was about 25 , I didn’t invite siblings because 25 was the number I was comfortable with ( reception) if I had wanted more I would of let him invite more of his friends not people he doesn’t know

YANBU, inviting siblings is basic consideration. If you can’t afford a whole class party plus siblings then don’t have a whole class party

Absolute horse shit.

@Spiceupyourlife I’m really confused by your view. If someone invites 30 children (& pays to feed them, party bags etc) but people randomly bring 2/3/4 kids along it would be completely unmanageable/ unpredictable & ridiculously expensive. If you have childcare problems it isn’t their problem to sort - you could use a relative, hire a babysitter or not go.

Not to mention it’s the birthday child’s birthday - they want their friends, not a bunch of toddlers they don’t even know. (And I bet the CF types who do this don’t bring extra presents either!)

OP I do sympathise if you’re a single parent trying to navigate this sort of scenario it must be really tough. This is the start too really as you say the toddler doesn’t get invited much, but when she starts school she will & they will regularly be on the same days in different areas. It’s hard enough parenting when there are two to share the load so I really do sympathise with your situation. Is there another parent you’re close to who could take their child & yours?

@Loudlady34

To me just because it says no siblings doesn't mean you can't take them

Erm that’s exactly what it means. In fact in reality it means, I realise most people would never be so bloody rude as to bring uninvited children to a party - but just for the minority of CFs out there - I feel the need to actually put it in Black & White for you.

If you have someone spell it out to you & you still don’t get how rude it is - they have no hope!

I specifically write no additional children for many reasons yep at least one of turns up with 1 or 2 extra children I have got hard over time and now say no it's not ok it's worse when both parents rock up with the whole Brady bunch.

Equally DS2 is now 4yrs old he was born as oldest started reception which is birthday party central DH did all the parties as i didnt think it was ok taking a baby on,y time I asked was when he was 6wks old as DH was in hospital I wouldn't have asked for an older child and eldest would have not gone.

So YABVU

I think the CF types who do this never realise what CFs they are because they’re a minority so ‘what harm is an extra child or two in a big room’ not recognising it’s only an extra child or two because everyone else isn’t being a CF. Not to mention if everyone was such a CF - 20/30/40 extra kids of the wrong age group would destroy the birthday kids party.

OP you can’t seriously be planning on asking to do the very thing the hate the idea of they’ve had to specify people don’t do on the invite ???

No siblings means no siblings.

I'm Widowed so never any childcare. When DD1 was in reception (before drop and run) her sister was a baby in a sling so no one minded her being there. Drop and run from year 1! Now DD2 is in reception and I text the host explaining the situation and asking if ok to drop and run OR if no choice DD1 can sit quietly with a book.

DD2 has her party in July and I will invite all parents to bring siblings if needed or drop and run as they prefer.

Life doesn't have to be complicated if we just use our words to explain things and reciprocate!