... to hate “no sibling” parties when they’re whole year group parties?

[Octonautsoctopod]

I sort of know I am BU. But with 30 kids in the class, it’s pretty tricky to figure out what to do with DD2 when DD1 has one of her many birthday parties (DH works on Saturdays).

And also - even if DH and I could split up the task on the weekend, I feel a bit bad for DD2 who never gets any parties as she’s only 3 and DD1 who gets around 20 a year as she’s 6!

They wind anyone else up?

I’m prob being v unreasonable

The birthday child does not know the other child so why would their Argents want to pay for their attendance. When dd2 starts school she will get invites dd1 does not get. Its how children learn. You can't gate crash. If it's an issue then speak to the parent and ask if dd2 could attend with you if you cover the cost of her attendance. If not then you will find all other children going to the party room for food etc and her kit having a place being left outside.

Never heard of a no sibling party. All parties are for the person on the invitation only. I didn't stay with my child after age of 4/5.

I would work on building dd's friends up, you might then be able to ask one of them to keep an eye on dd. Even better if they have a dc a similar age to dd2 - one goes to the party with the older one and the other to the park with the younger two. I would work on that and hopefully it will be easier. I imagine the parties will reduce soon and it will be a drop and run. Most around here left at about reception age.

Don't ask if you can take DD2 tomorrow, op. Ask if you can leave DD1 instead.

Start the local trend for drop and runs 😁

I hated it when parents wanted to stay!

Don’t ask to take the the sibling to a no-sibling party. That should be obvious.

I’ve ever heard of parents staying with 6 year olds , when we had parties for my DS (thankfully a teen now) I hated it if parents stayed, they never really helped, just sat around expecting cups of tea etc. I made it clear what pick up time was and said a firm goodbye.

I think you have forgotten the party is for the birthday child and not your child! How f ridiculous to suggest if a parent invites 29 classmates they can bring their siblings. They are being generous enough inviting 29 children!

In my experience this will be a short term problem OP - everyone is over class parties by year 2 at the latest! I can imagine it’s a pain for you but we were always encouraged to drop and run.

All parties were drop and run at the age of 6 round here. All the more annoying because we couldn’t do that.

Drop and run, or don’t go.

I have never experienced parents asking if they can bring another child to a birthday party.

I host for my daughters class, and a few of our family friends and her cousins. It can be 40 children - I wouldn’t be too keen to pay for an additional bunch of siblings who my daughter probably doesn’t even know.

At my daughter’s sixth birthday none of the class parents stayed

If a party is more headache then necessary just RSVP no and do something else that day.

6yrs here and only 1 or 2 out of 30 drops and runs just not really done. Also never had an invite saying no siblings, every invite has actually gone out of their way to say 'siblings welcome' even with softplay or trampoline parties they always put 'sibling welcome but you will need to pay your own entrance costs' just isn't done to say brothers and sisters aren't invited.

YABU but I do feel your pain. My eldest has anxiety and I can't leave him (did once but he had the worst time) so I always need to organise childcare for my youngest. Which is a pain as my husband usually works weekends so I am left with running around dropping off the youngest to go with the eldest.

For the parents I know fairly well I have been able to bring my youngest but I pay for him so soft play I pay and play with him but my eldest knows where I am or cinema I sit the other side of the screen so works out well. But other parties I do look like the strange adult who doesn't want to let go but he hates lots of things that come with parties (has a phobia of candles, food on sticks and sweets....he is a blast) So I need to keep an eye out and pre warn him so he can be distracted. Thankfully everyone has been very understanding so far but I know it probably won't last forever.

If no one drops and runs do parties usually consist of 30 kids and 30 adults?

Everyone stays with their children round here. Also the norm to take siblings although I never let Ju extras eat party food unless invited to do so.

Yes they do pinkyredrose

YABVU

I read a thread about this the other day ‘a woman wanting a polite way to say ‘no siblings’ and the it quickly turned into everyone claiming that simply ‘dropping’ a 5/6 year old and sodding off with other children was VU verging on CF territory!

🤔 So what are parents with multiple kids and no weekend childcare supposed to do? Can’t bring the siblings (understandably) and can’t leavr the invited child?

Impossible situation

Yabu sorry. With pre school parties you usually invite your own friends who have dc similar age to yours and the whole family comes. When they go to school it's their own friends who get invited to parties, no siblings and parents either stay and supervise/chat or go. Siblings can be a nightmare at parties as the activity is either too grown up or too babyish for them. Also it makes numbers really unpredictable. If 2 children don't turn up to a party it doesn't make much of a difference but if 2 families (especially big families) don't turn up then that's 8-12 people missing.

Also 20 parties? That's a huge amount in a year. My dc usually get invited to about 2-4 parties in reception and maybe 1-2 in year 1.

So 30 children who all have at least one sibling, possibly two or even more. The person organising the party then has to find a venue big enough and hire or provide enough equipment for everyone (and cover all ages). There is then the extra food, party bags, cake etc... Suddenly the cost of the party that the birthday child wants is unaffordable and all to accommodate siblings that s/he has probably never met or has any interest in.

Just drop off, even for DD's 5th birthday no parents stayed (can't remember any staying for her 4th come to think about it but it was just small in our home)

I've said this before on hero but dropping off varies enormously from one social circle and location to another. Some places everyone's doing it pretty much from reception, other places parents stay for years and years later.
Could you explore getting a babysitter for DD2 to cover a party, OP?

YABU

I went to a party last month. Small affair after school at a local pub so siblings invited including the birthday child's own sibling. The instructions from the parent was to allow the big kids to eat first. There were only 3 younger ones.

Younger siblings are always invited to big parties at our school but if it's something with a specific number (like a swimming party/pamper party/build a bear/) then they aren't and that's fair enough when it's about £10 per child. Sometimes though circumstances mean that you can't leave the younger one with anyone and the older one isn't quite old enough to be left on their own or the parent insists you stay then what are you supposed to do? Thankfully here we e never had an issue. Apart from the let the big kids eat first one