... to hate “no sibling” parties when they’re whole year group parties?

[Octonautsoctopod]

I sort of know I am BU. But with 30 kids in the class, it’s pretty tricky to figure out what to do with DD2 when DD1 has one of her many birthday parties (DH works on Saturdays).

And also - even if DH and I could split up the task on the weekend, I feel a bit bad for DD2 who never gets any parties as she’s only 3 and DD1 who gets around 20 a year as she’s 6!

They wind anyone else up?

I’m prob being v unreasonable

I don't get why whole class parties are worse for this? Surely it is more understandable that a whole class party could go from 30 to 60+ if you allow siblings to come.

I agree with most of the others, drop the eldest and come back for her. Once mine started school I left them. Seems to be the done thing round here.

When DD1 is having a party, you will have the opportunity to write "All siblings welcome" on her invitations.
Until then, YABVU to try and foist DD2 off on some poor unsuspecting parent. Take the little one off and do something nice with her away from the party venue. Or take her home. Her time for parties will come.

I don't get why this is an issue at all. Your 6 yo is the one invited, not you, not her sister.

Drop her off and go and get the shopping or do whatever else you want to do for an hour and a half. Geez.

You having other children should have no impact on the poor birthday child's party ffs.

Entitlement is clearly blinding.

Yabu

I think people like you are really cheeky expecting that a younger sibling can just come along to an older child's party. The whole point of a party is to celebrate with your friends not a whole lot of toddlers who are just going to get in the way. A three year old will just get underfoot and then the older ones end up accidentally hurting the younger ones as they are excited.
We had a couple of these parents in my kids class and they used to bring along little ones. The whole dynamic of the party changes when there are siblings there and it is really not fair on anybdy.
I see no reason to stay at a party with a 6 year old.

YABVU as well as a bit selfish and entitled really.

DD1 (5) goes to a lot of whole class parties. I have two other children. I’d say at least 22 of her class have at least one, some two, some three siblings. A class party for 30 kids would become 50-60 kids! Of course YABU.

So , OP I assume that when it is your own DD1's,(or DD2 for that matter) party you would be more than happy for potentially 20-30 extra kids to rock up? .....Thought not!

Okay, okay, I am being unreasonable

Sorry for the misunderstanding of those saying they didn’t get my meaning - I wrote my post in a ranty rush. The whole class party invites usually say “no siblings” on them at dd’s school.

There doesn’t seem to be much form for dropping them off and leaving, so if I take DD1, I have to take DD2 - unless I can get my mum to come up for the day.

I’m not sure why they aren’t drop off parties yet! My friends in other areas seem to have them! The day will come...

I had a day of it today and another day of it tomorrow and feel so embarrassed asking the parent if I can bring DD2 because I have no childcare for her! Makes me miss the preschool days (DD2 is at home with me so doesn’t go to childcare hence no parties) when kids’ parties were for everyone - both parents, all siblings... (i know, I know, I’m being unreasonable!)

I suppose if it doesn’t state siblings welcome then you can’t bring the younger? I’m not sure, in my daughters parties we always state siblings welcome on the invite. Maybe they are space poor?

YABU. Your dd2 will have plenty of parties when she is older. You want her to go to a party because you don't know what to do with her? So free childcare for a couple of hours then?
I think whole class parties are U anyway.

Yabu. Most parties the parent has paid per child attending so if everyone brought a sibling you've doubled the cost (and it's £7-10 a head around here) assuming the venue can cater for extras. If they can't you have a bunch of siblings left out.

Even at the parties I've catered myself the food is bought and prepared for the amount of children who have rsvp'd. This year DDs party is a maximum of 30 kids and she's invited 25 and I'm doing a little lunch box for each kid so no space for siblings. I'm now hoping there are no CF parents like you expecting to dump other kids.

I think you should ask if you could drop off older dd and come pick her up after party - is they ask why, tell them.

NCforthis 2019 - space poor, money poor, adult helper poor. All reasons are legitimate.
Have you hosted a whole class party where all the siblings were invited too?

Ok - maybe I’m biased by my child’s class is very small (14) and most only have one sibling so it’s not a big deal to us Sorry OP - think you’ll have to drop and run.

No I kind of get it. It’s not just parties, even school plays/assemblies etc always encourage you not to bring younger siblings. It does get exhausting if it’s not a drop off event to know what to do with the younger one

For my DS party I actually invited younger siblings as most of them were going to be in my DD year at school (we have the classic 2 year age gap) so thought it was nice for them all to meet etc

@supersop60 - I have actually.

In the nicest possible way OP, YABU. Your childcare issues really aren’t the party parent’s problem...

Just be the parent that drops off and goes then, If someone doesn't start doing it you will all be hanging around kids parties for years. It really shouldn't be a problem for a 6 year old child.

@supersop60 - I always include sibling mainly because I am aware that it would be a struggle for some parents to find childcare on the weekend for the extra siblings. The biggest party we had was about 36 kids. But - I understand this is not for everyone.

My dd was invited to party this weekend and unfortunately couldn't go as she was ill. However, it would have been difficult anyway as I work on Saturdays too and dh has ds to look after who is nearly 2. Dd is 3 and in my opinion too young to leave yet. I feel your pain. Can you leave dd2 with a family member for the duration of the party if you feel the need to stay? By 6 though I think I would feel ok to leave them. Could you stay for a while till dd1 is comfortable and then leave?

Be the trailblazer next time OP! They’re probably all desperate to drop and run but don’t want to be the first. Just explain that you have to drop her and come back as you have your younger child and no childcare for her. I don’t know why all the mums stay, kids parties are so bloody boring

YABVU.

If every child had 2 siblings it could end up being 90 kids.

If you can't get childcare for DD2 then you decline the invite.

DD2 will get her turn.

Do you not have another parent willing to watch your dd1 at the party? I’d try this tbh.

I don’t want thee year olds at my six year old’s party. Simple. I don’t care if your three yr old doesn’t get to go to parties! If it bothers you that much, don’t send the six yr old to the 20 parties. The party is not for you, or either of your children. It is for my child, paid for by me and therefore my rules!