... to hate “no sibling” parties when they’re whole year group parties?

[Octonautsoctopod]

I sort of know I am BU. But with 30 kids in the class, it’s pretty tricky to figure out what to do with DD2 when DD1 has one of her many birthday parties (DH works on Saturdays).

And also - even if DH and I could split up the task on the weekend, I feel a bit bad for DD2 who never gets any parties as she’s only 3 and DD1 who gets around 20 a year as she’s 6!

They wind anyone else up?

I’m prob being v unreasonable

If you drop and run, what about safety ratios? They exist in schools. I’m a single parent to, so would be hosting a party potentially alone. If everyone dropped and ran I’d be really stuck :/

Where is your DH? One of you takes DD1 to the party and one of you stays at home with DD2, so simple! It always bemused me when I did something on my own or with only one of the kids at the weekend when they were little, and people asked "So where are the kids/where is DD1/2?" Where would you think they are other than at home with their dad? People seemed surprised that he was looking after his own daughters, as if that is something unusual or unreasonable.

DD2 going to DD1's parties would be unfair, because then she would get to go twice as many as DD1, as DD2 will have parties to go to when she is older.

I made the mistake of saying siblings welcome as I had space for up to 60, EVERY fucker brought siblings and some hadn't even rsvp'd. And guess who was the first to moan about the flavour of the sandwiches/crisps in their food box? Yep the siblings. NEVER AGAIN.

breastfeedingworries - not a single mum but one with a dh who often has had to work on weekends and cant make sure dh will be there to help with parties.

I always pay for an entertainer (a "pirate", "cinderella" etc), they effectively do the party, if dh cant make it, I try to make sure I have MIL there and ask one friendly parent to stay.

The entertainer looks after the games etc, I make sure all food is ready to go, with jugs of squash/water made up and tables set up with plates on ready to just feed them.

Insist on phone no for all parents dropping and running so that you can call if theres a problem rather than having to manage it yourself for any length of time.

Worth noting for the OP, most entertainers charge more if it's over 30 children - some agencies will insist on a second entertainer if it's over 30.

Aah I can't bear this. Last year at DTD's party so parents asked if they could bring siblings and I felt duty bound to say yes as it was a church hall style party but some families pitched up with both parents and siblings (all dressed up in party dresses) without having the courtesy to ask first. They are in reception with September birthdays so it was the first school party. Fortunately I'd done some extra party bags. This year DTD's would love something like a party at a trampoline centre but I'm loath to do it as I don't want to end up paying for a rake of siblings... Instead we're doing an at home party and I will actively say no siblings on the invites.

Unless an entertainer specifies a ratio etc. it is a private function so people don't NEED to observe ratios, but yes it makes sense to ensure that you have enough adult helpers around. This would generally be a family friend/ relative or maybe ask a couple of parents you know from the class to stay and help. Make sure that they are useful helpers rather than ones who will be wanting you to host them. Alternatively just invite fewer children and have a smaller party.

At our school the rule is you can bring them for softplay and gall parties as ling as you let the host know AND bring your own food/drink for them (if there are leftovers, siblings get first pick). if its softplay, you also pay your own entrance fee for the sibling. Fair to me!

Plus, parents don’t drop and run if they bring siblings - the sibling is the parents responsibility

She doesn't have to go to every party.

Speak to the host. They may well invite you drop and leave.

I recently had DS1s 7th party, one mum messaged asking if she could bring her younger child as her partner was working. She just didn’t realise that she could drop her son and go, I think he was still 5 at the time. Even if he was a bit younger I would’ve said the same. I prefer this to extra younger children about and am happy to keep and extra eye on the ones I know don’t have parents staying.
Just send a message, have a conversation. If there’s no appropriate resolution available from the host your child will just have to miss the party.

We have a party coming up for my daughter and it's a full class party at a soft play. I'm happy for siblings to come as to be fair we can't stop them coming, but the parents have to pay the extra in which is at a reduced rate anyway for softplay and they can sort out their own food too as there is a cafe. You can't expect the party host to pay for the sibling at an extra £9.50 a head, imagine if you've booked for 30 and 15 of them brought siblings! X

If you drop and run, what about safety ratios? They exist in schools. I’m a single parent to, so would be hosting a party potentially alone. If everyone dropped and ran I’d be really stuck :/
Obviously you only invite as many children as you can manage???

When I hosted parties it was always drop & run, either at home or in the village hall. But my DH was always around (& we are both Scout Leaders so used to managing children ) & I might ask one trusted friend to help with with the food. Honestly, do people really worry about ‘ratios’ at children’s parties?. So glad those days are over.

Picking up a group of teenagers from the airport at 3am after a post A level week abroad seems a lot less fraught .

I agree you surely just invite the numbers you can cope with. While class parties seem to start younger these days.

YANBU all the parents stay at parties up until around the age of 9 at dc school. Sometimes these parties are in huge soft play centres which can be a bit daunting for a small child. wouldn't feel comfortable leaving a 6 year old in such a huge place. Someone's house - yes but not in a large public place.

Also when mine were that age I like to accompany them to the toilet too, they're still young. It's not fair to ask the host to look after your child.

When mine had parties only 1 parent brought along a sibling and that was absolutely fine with me. I always made extra party bags just in case.

Sorry I can't help with your dilemma but I feel your pain and wouldn't leave a 6 year old unaccompanied at a soft play centre etc.

Just don't say yes to all the parties. I had same problem when mine were little as DH had a footie season ticket. I just used to drop & go from reception class age - if it happened on a Saturday afternoon.
My issue was that people always put parties slap bang in the middle of the weekend. Always used to do ours Friday after school so people had the rest of the weekend free.
We had one parent in DS class who just used to turn up with DD who was 2 years younger and ask for her to take part. She even got invited to the reception class Christmas disco fully dressed up and dancing and so on. When DS had reception class party I was shocked that so many parents turned up with siblings and just assumed they could join in. We had paid for 30 max for the entertainer & then suddenly there were another 15 or so kids knocking about. It was chaos.

DD is 5 coming to the end of reception. 95%of parents stay at parties some do bring siblings occasionally but would pay for them if an activity type party or ensure they had asked host and that they didn't eat party food, expect party bag etc.
I'm in the middle of sorting DDs 6th party and the entertainer has a max 30 children cut off so I cant have siblings too and will have to say so if asked.
Very much doubt we will be dropping at parties next year either, just not the general form around here. I don't have a problem staying at parties it's just a few hours and they are still so young and can get upset at times when they are over excited...

Are you having a party for your DC? Are all siblings welcome too?

What is the issue about not dropping kids off when they are 6 and above and with their peers from school? Serious question. We had 4 adults supervising at latest party (25) We had everyone's number. People stayed when children were 4, early 5 but has stopped now. When DS wanted me to stay at a party - he has just turned 5 - I stayed outside the venue but in the end he didn't need me

1. Drop and go and do something fun with DD2
2. How fucking self absorbed are you that you think 6 year olds (and their parents!) want your sticky 3 year old joining in? Stupid.

@BlueSkiesLies some people are actually nice. depending where you are, bringing (supervised) siblings is completely normal.
How fing self absorbed are you to just dump your 6 year old at a party?

Totally missing the point but...God I am so glad there’s only 8 in my dd’s Class!! 😂

And fwiw my 6 yr old only this year let me leave her at a party 🙄🙈