To feel sorry for children always late for school

[Shootingstar1115]

I’m probably going to get slammed for this. I know parenting is hard and sometimes we all run a little late at times.

As a child I was always late for school. DM was absolutely terrible in the mornings. Wouldn’t get up early, we would never be given breakfast (usually biscuits or crisps in the car on the way). I hated walking in late every day. I never got used to it. Felt like all eyes were on me and the teachers would get annoyed. I wasn’t able to walk as the school was quite far away. I still very much like this now. It’s turned me into an extremely punctual person.

Every day after taking DS to school and DD over to the pre school I see the same parents walking towards the school by this point 15 minutes after it first started and they aren’t rushing either.

We live in a village where most people live no further than a 5 minute walk away from the school. It’s a small place and most people walk (other than the few who live in the surrounding areas).

I just feel sorry for the kids being ushered in so late in the morning. It’s the same parents every single day!! It reminds me of my childhood and now being late every day made me extremely anxious. Even at secondary school I’d be late every day. I didn’t live far enough away to get a bus in but it was too far to walk. I’d be sat in the car resdy waiting for DM to get in the car.

The school have sent home letters and everything about it.

Do some people just not give a crap??

Thid thread is making me feel like absolute shit. Ds was always late for nursery. He hated going because of his sn which wasnt diagnosed and nursery weren't massively helpful. Hes much easier to get to school because they meet his needs better. There are a few posts on here with my dcs have special needs and we still manage it. Well bully for you. Sn are different in every child. Its not necessarily a reflection of the parents.

Yanbu.

My best friends family growing up were arty and academic and very chaotic. Late to absolutely everything. I remember one year everyone turning up to her house for her birthday party and they weren't even in as they had "popped out"

Even as a child I found it frustrating and couldn't understand why they found it so hard to organise themselves.

Yeah a girl in my dd's class is always late and always late to be collected too at the end of the day. Her little face drops when she comes out of school and has to stand to the side because her mummy isn't there yet. I wonder if she gets accustomed to it it whether she still wonders if her mum will turn up. It must be annoying for the teacher too as they have to wait with her til her mum arrives.

Cacacoisfarraige Whew. Feel better getting all that off your chest?

Cacacoisfarraige
what are you on about?
I am not sure why you are bringing flexible working in a thread about schools, one of the places where a set quota of staff must be on time!

You are confusing people late and people not having a strict schedule, the 2 things are completely different.

i never suggested that everyone should be hours late and missing meetings but you don’t think being continually late for the start of school is an issue, so it’s just teachers time you don’t respect ?!

Being constantly late the kids miss out on playtime with their friends.They miss the time to come in and get settled be fore their day starts.

Op you've actually made me realise something that I had never before.

My mum was like your mum, would never wake up. She was often hungover and I would be shaking her and getting upset that I was going to be late for school. I would often be kept off.

In my adult life I am never or rarely late. In 15 years at my current employer I have been late once by minutes, due to an accident on the way. I am usually early for everything.

I never clicked I'm like that cause of my childhood!

There are those of us who specifically time their arrival (me!) so that as other parents are leaving, we are arriving. No we are not flustered, no we are not late, no my DC's are not missing any valuable learning time, we simply don't enjoy playground small talk or gossip.

We choose to slip in and slip out. I've been doing my primary school run for 6 years (eldest leaves this summer) and youngest is in Reception, I've timed my pick ups and drops offs to a tee and my children are not affected at all.

For any other life event taking place with people we LIKE to interact with, we're there before time and yes my children are well settled, punctual kind and loving little people. Not everyone is 'late' by accident.

everyone on this thread has clearly agreed they are NOT judging those with SN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But nobody has said how they know what is going on behind closed doors in other homes!

I think some people are just late people. I am one of those people. That's why I get up 3 hours before we need to leave for school.
It is always the same people that are late. One woman at school moved to the road the school is actually on-I'd guess maybe 45 seconds door to door. She is still late every single day.

DM1209
either you are late, or you are not.
If you chose to arrive latER but still be on time, that's a complete non-issue.

If you arrive after the doors have closed, after the kids have been taken to their classroom or whatever your school is doing, you are late.
If the kids are still queuing in front of the door, you might be the last one to join in, but you are still on time.

Op thanks for this post! It really made me click onto why I am chronically 15 minutes early (and when I think I'm going to be late I always panic and feel dreadful, and then am inevitably 5 minutes early). My parents were like yours, we were always late and it embarrassed me. We were also always picked up late, I remember standing waiting in the playground until 5pm sometimes with the teachers getting really frustrated, that always made me feel sad and anxious

My mum was v similar to yours re mornings. TBH I’m still horribly late for most things which I’m aware is a bad character flaw, but we are never late for school (not once this year) because I can still remember the frustration I felt as a child in that situation.

There are a couple of other mums that are consistently late but they always seem calm and unrushed were as most mornings I’m yelling at everyone to get a move on. That’s not ideal either.

but nobody has said how they know what is going on behind closed doors in other homes!
No one knows but unfortunately some DC are neglected, through parents with addiction problems, depression MH issues, it is not the parents fault being suck but it can cause neglect in the home.
I am sure teachers have it sussed, constant lateness along with other signs can save a childs life.
I am sure the teachers are aware of those with SEN.
My DM never got up with us, or set our uniform out, we missed loads of school we were often late, yes DM has been depressed most of her life she loved us but is negative and disorganised, it was still neglect not severe but shit going to school late and unkempt.

My ds is frequently late to school despite us living just a few minutes walk away. He has ASD and SPD and I have to constantly prompt him and help him to do everything. I have chronic depression and anxiety and my sleep is terribly disordered.

I am ashamed of myself every single time he is late. I know it is wrong and bad, and I try not to be late but usually fail. I judge myself very harshly and figure that all the parents we pass going the other way are judging me too. I don't blame them really.

I am ashamed of myself every single time he is late. I know it is wrong and bad, and I try not to be late but usually fail. I judge myself very harshly and figure that all the parents we pass going the other way are judging me too
As long as your doing your best, As I said above my DM was always depressed slept lots had a disorganised home BUT She loves us always cwith all her heart, she's like ny child I protect now, I adore her.

Not everyone has a perfect home life but the vast majority of lateness is caused by people consistently underestimating how long certain things take so even if you have a newborn, a child with disabilities, you have mental health issues or whatever it's about building a schedule that takes that into account. One off things happen but there's no excuse for daily lateness. We are all making excuses for people here when 99% of the time there's solutions to the problem

I experienced this chronic lateness as a child too. Every day, getting to school was a rush and I had to walk in after the bell fairly frequently. There was no good excuse for it. DM was a SAHM, but chronically disorganized. I was also the one always waiting to be picked up after an event or party.

It was extremely stressful for me to regularly go in late. I was a shy child as it was, and I always felt guilty and responsible for the lateness (even if it realistically wasn’t my fault). Like others have posted, I fear being late and am now early for everything.

DM jokes about her lateness, saying she’s liable to be late to her own funeral. She almost treats it as though it’s a charming personality quirk rather than extremely annoying and disruptive for things like school.

Sometimes its the kids always fucking around in the mornings that makes people late?

Im ALWAYS jollying mine along