To feel sorry for children always late for school

[Shootingstar1115]

I’m probably going to get slammed for this. I know parenting is hard and sometimes we all run a little late at times.

As a child I was always late for school. DM was absolutely terrible in the mornings. Wouldn’t get up early, we would never be given breakfast (usually biscuits or crisps in the car on the way). I hated walking in late every day. I never got used to it. Felt like all eyes were on me and the teachers would get annoyed. I wasn’t able to walk as the school was quite far away. I still very much like this now. It’s turned me into an extremely punctual person.

Every day after taking DS to school and DD over to the pre school I see the same parents walking towards the school by this point 15 minutes after it first started and they aren’t rushing either.

We live in a village where most people live no further than a 5 minute walk away from the school. It’s a small place and most people walk (other than the few who live in the surrounding areas).

I just feel sorry for the kids being ushered in so late in the morning. It’s the same parents every single day!! It reminds me of my childhood and now being late every day made me extremely anxious. Even at secondary school I’d be late every day. I didn’t live far enough away to get a bus in but it was too far to walk. I’d be sat in the car resdy waiting for DM to get in the car.

The school have sent home letters and everything about it.

Do some people just not give a crap??

YANBU we hate it too and the same happens at DD (6) school, they plod along without a care in the world. DD has only been late twice and only because she needed to have docs appointments for breathing issues. Wouldn’t inflict lateness intentionally on any child. Let them learn and be with their friends.

We have one lady at school who is constantly late as she'd rather spend the time making sure herself and her daughters are dolled up before heading to school.

YANBU

I totally get the unexpected mini disasters happen and you are delayed

But it is the persistent lateness that is bad and I feel sorry for the child(ren)

Since DC1 started reception I notice that it's the same ones running down the road to the school as I make my way, and also the ones who are just casually strolling

When my DD was in her first year of High School (in US, so age 14) she made me late every single flipping day. I kept waiting for the school to call her on it, and when I asked she mumbled something about lunchtime detention, which seemed appropriate. Come the first parent / teacher meetings about 6 weeks in, the very sweet, very young, first year chemistry teacher, who I can imagine was a very well behaved student in her high school years who was never late, gently took ME to task for not getting up early enough to get DD to school on time. Turns out this sweet young woman believed my daughter's sad faced story of her useless mother who kept her waiting every morning for her ride to school. She was informed the truth of the situation and had to miss a week of marching band practice for afternoon detention.

(She has grown up to be a lovely, responsible person, but 20 years ago I had serious doubts. This long term and well planned lie isn't even the worst thing she did that year. Not by a long shot. )

YANBU, but I must admit, I'm blithely oblivious to any habitually late families at DCs' school.

School is officially open at 8.15. Helicopter Parents are expected to have vacated by 8.45. Bell rings at 8.55 to go into class. So there's a significant window in which kids can be dropped off at school.

Most kids are there by about 8.30 as parents have other places to be. Work, usually.

Kids get to play, hang out with their friends for a bit and get ready for the day.

I suppose there must be some late families, but the system seems to work well, what with the 40-minute window and emphasis on play before school starts.

The OP is clearly posting about don't-give-shit parents who routinely dawdle into school late, without a care in the world, as opposed to families where there are extenuating circumstances. You can usually tell these parents, by their dawdling, don't-give-a-shit air, so if this isn't you, the OP's not talking about you.

I think every school has them don’t they? We literally end up referring to the culprit of my sons class as ‘late mum’. Because she’s always always late.

My kids have been late about twice. Once because someone had blocked my car in and we had to walk unexpectedly and it’s a 40 minute walk. And the other time I was ill as in couldn’t leave bed because I had a full on migraine with nose bleed and vomiting when I moved so definitely couldn’t drive or walk the 1 hour 20 minutes round trip. I had another mum take them for me but she had to drop her kids first and come back for mine because she couldn’t fit them all in her car so naturally they were a bit late.

Our school has actually started marking children as absent from morning sessions if they are more than 15 minutes late meaning if they get 10 of those they get a fine.

Why are you spending so much time watching and judging other families OP. You can't be helping them with your judgement. Better to just smile, encourage and live your own life.

Not once in the 17 years i had children at school were they ever late, some of the schools were a 3/4 of a mile walk (dont drive) some of the schools were by bus ( they went to 7 different ones) and if i had missed the bus they would have had to stay at home.
I used to get very pissed off with parents who wouldn't get their children to my Pre school class on time, every single day they would interrupt Register then at the end of the day the very same rude, arrogant parents would be late in picking their child up, i too had children to get home to but of course only their time was important

I was often late for stuff as a child and it left me feeling anxious and now in adulthood I'm always super early for stuff

I don't think children should be punished for lateness that is the parents' responsibility

I have crohn's disease and had a large section of intestine removed. This means I sometimes have to urgently go to the toilet and the pain/fatigue can be crippling. Mornings are always worse so sometimes that means we're 5 mins late for school. I've tried getting up much earlier, not eating etc but sometimes just the thought of having to get somewhere at a certain time or knowing there's no toilet along the way triggers anxiety which makes me need to rush to the loo. School haven't been supportive and said can you not just get someone to bring him on your bad days? With no warning that's impossible to plan! Plus family live 30 mins away. I feel terrible when we are late but sadly can't be helped

YANBU. I was always late as I had to care for my siblings and take them to school before going to my school (1.5 miles other direction). I hardly attended secondary school due to these issues.

I live 3 miles from the school on a bus route that is consistently up to 20 mins late. I try my best to get there on time but its not always my own fault....

I was always late.

My sister would take forever getting ready and my mum was constantly losing car keys.
It would drive me mad as I'd get in trouble with teachers even though id been ready for ages and was waiting for my family to hurry up.

To this day, my mum is ALWAYS late to everything. I however aim to get places around 10 minutes early.

I'm torn on this as I see your point but to be honest we are probably more late than is acceptable (once a week). We have a newborn, 4 boys l, bith work full time and I have Hashimotos which knocks me for 6 some days. We prep in the evening and are very organized. It just so happens some days we get there 20mins early and some days 5 mins late. Its often the put your shoes on phase of the morning that delays us. I see it as the logical consequence of my boys pissing about with getting ready combined with my invisible illness, modern life and a newborn. We are currently doing our best. We've been better in the past and will be better again in the future but I'm not going to bag myself for it.

This thread has really made me re-evaluate my thoughts on just how far people can have their own heads wedged up their backsides with smugness.

My kids were the late kids. A few years ago I became ill. Single mum, abusive ex, school very much aware of this. Couldn't drive and no, my kids could not have walked unsupervised. I organised a taxi every day to take the kids to school- pre booked for a time that would be ample to be punctual. However, where we live the way the traffic system works means that if the taxi was caught in morning/work traffic then they couldn't get to me with all the best will in the world.

I had the school contact me on several occasions, getting more and more irate, even though I explained every time that there was nothing I could do about it and gave the reasons. They even asked 'should we contact Ex to make him aware' after being told of the DV situation and being kept up to date with court proceedings- I lost my patience at that point.

I was acutely aware that my kids were missing out on that time in the mornings. Not every morning, I should point out, but frequently enough that it merited mentioning. That I can understand, but having been advised of the situation, they had no excuse to keep on at me.

1. I didn't ask to get sick. Unless you had a cure- work with me, not against me.
2. Don't smile and (god knows if they were trying to 'incentivise' me or what) mention my ex when you know that is not a legal solution and you're being a goady prick.
3. I have organised and paid for a taxi. I cannot control traffic. When there is nowhere for the kids to go before school, especially when raining...I cant organise it for any other time.

In the end, I asked them to either provide me with an idea for a valid alternative. Funnily enough they didn't have one as I was already doing any and everything I could.

Maybe the parents should just bring the kids into school in what ever state of readiness so they are on time.

Back years ago my friends mums kitchen faced the road and she used to see this particular little boy who lived a few doors away walking to school on his own everyday.
School was at the bottom of the road.

This little boy was in no hurry, she said he walked very very slowly and if he saw a leaf friend’s mum said she used to watch him stop and examine it in great detail or if it was windy and it blew back up the road he would follow it.

Sometimes it would get to 9.20 and he would have passed her window several times and still not be in school.

His mum would sometimes accompany him on the walk trying to get him to school on time and friends mum would watch as his mum tried to hurry him up to no avail.

She said it was better than some comedies on tv.

Little boy grew up to be a relatively well known sportsman in his field.

It is awful for children who are constantly late. When we moved house we couldn't get all three DC into the same school so DD1 had to go to a different school to her two siblings. We were very rural and DS and DD2 had to go to school by bus. There was no bus to DD1's school which was in the opposite direction. I couldn't set off with DD1 until school bus had collected the two smalls (couldn't leave a 5 and 7 year old waiting for the bus alone) and if that bus was late then DD1 was late to school. DD1's school were aware and understood but she still had to go to the library on those mornings to get a late mark and it was demoralising. Annoyingly the school bus was often late owing to a tardy parent at a previous pick up point. The bus driver knew they were coming and would just wait.

My dc were late occasionally. I am amazed they weren’t late everyday

I live down a maze of single track roads which between 7.30 -9am is used as a rat run.

Trying to get out of my drive would send my blood pressure off the charts.

Then you had to contend with the fact there were those who didn’t know how to use passing spaces and on a few occasions 2 women on their phones (same 2 each time) with cups of coffee would meet between passing spaces with their big range rovers and sit talking on the phone unaware that no one was moving.

The school was about a 10 minute drive away but could take up to an hour if you had idiots thinking they could squeeze past an oncoming vehicle in the 6inches between the oncoming vehicle and the hedgerow and they were followed down the road by other idiots blindly following the car in front.

I think we lived the furthest from the school in a pocket of houses between the “villages” everyone else was in walking distance to the school.

@hazandduck your post made me sad. I was that kid too. My DM was also undiagnosed bipolar. I also struggle to get my kids to school on time. In fairness, mine seem to do everything in their power to make us late! No matter how organised I am, they almost seem to sabotage it.

Bit beyond school drop off really (should be on grand net, but neither of my boys have reproduced yet!). Being late for anything is rude and inconsiderate, unless vv good reason. My brother and I were both ‘due’ on the same day (different years, of course). He was 2 days early, the only time in his life he’s ever been early (even late for his own wedding) and I was 5 days late, and I’d like to think that’s the only time in my life I’ve been late.

I feel more sorry for the children who have been in nursery since they were 10 months old than the children who are a few minutes late for school. I worked in childcare for years before I had my dc. My daughter has been late 3 times since September. We got her school report which showed she arrived at 9.02am, 3 times. It fucked up this years education and seriously disrupted her classmates

YANBU My dds mum was like this. She is late for everything and laughs it off. She doesn't prioritise education. I have to say though that she is a fantastic mum in every other way.