To feel sorry for children always late for school

[Shootingstar1115]

I’m probably going to get slammed for this. I know parenting is hard and sometimes we all run a little late at times.

As a child I was always late for school. DM was absolutely terrible in the mornings. Wouldn’t get up early, we would never be given breakfast (usually biscuits or crisps in the car on the way). I hated walking in late every day. I never got used to it. Felt like all eyes were on me and the teachers would get annoyed. I wasn’t able to walk as the school was quite far away. I still very much like this now. It’s turned me into an extremely punctual person.

Every day after taking DS to school and DD over to the pre school I see the same parents walking towards the school by this point 15 minutes after it first started and they aren’t rushing either.

We live in a village where most people live no further than a 5 minute walk away from the school. It’s a small place and most people walk (other than the few who live in the surrounding areas).

I just feel sorry for the kids being ushered in so late in the morning. It’s the same parents every single day!! It reminds me of my childhood and now being late every day made me extremely anxious. Even at secondary school I’d be late every day. I didn’t live far enough away to get a bus in but it was too far to walk. I’d be sat in the car resdy waiting for DM to get in the car.

The school have sent home letters and everything about it.

Do some people just not give a crap??

My son was always late for school
We lived 5 minutes walk away ... no main roads
He left in good time but just dawdled his way down
Used to arrive about 9-10 for a 9 am start

No one batted an eyelid... so I didn’t either 😂

Parents who are late should get a dog, we used to be late on occasion. Then we got a dog, never late again (it’s been one year since). She needs to go toilet in the morning and wants to go in the park. She waits at the door patiently like a good girl, so we make sure to get out ASAP!!!

I understand it’s a struggle for some parents to get out sometimes or things happen. But if it’s a regular thing, that’s not good. It also distrusts the rest of the class. It’s good the poster learned from her mother’s mistakes and is punctual and doesn’t let history repeat itself.

I’m with you. Being late is rude, disrespectful and very unfair on the child and the teachers.

Of course no one judges the primary school kids, it's parents who are - or should be - in charge.

Funnily enough, it's exactly the same in a work environment. It's always the same people who are late, always the same ones who are sick with crappy excuses.

I work in Central London, we are all dependent on the good will of public transports and all dealing with the same mess. Some people will never be late, or once in a blue moon, but others will always have all the excuses of the book.

So yes, of course I judge the ones who are always late, and don't give a shit about their own kids and disturbing the rest of the class. They have the attitude to match anyway.

YANBU

Although I do feel sorry for the parents at the infants/juniors near my parents house. The start/finished times are stagerred 15min, and it the schools are about 10mins adult pace away (at the top and bottom of a hill)

I think it must be hard to do it in 15min with DC and pushchairs. (so everyone drives and theres a bottle neck of cars every school run)

@Cacacoisfarraige same here, we have flexi time, I am usually one of the later ones in but I am the last to leave and friends with all the cleaners as I’m always there when they’re hoovering around the office. It works for our team, half the office come in early, the other half works late. The flexibility and acceptance of different personalities makes for a far more happy and productive workplace in our case. Don’t understand the bitchiness TBH and agree it reflects more on the person doing the judging.

Aravis

I was also thinking ADHD - sounds very much like my DS8. He’s not diagnosed but definitely fits.

I used to be late quite a lot. I have dyslexia and struggle with time management. Chuck a reluctant child, a toddler and a breastfed baby into the mix, and for me it was near impossible to get out of the house in good time.
People have phases in their lives which are more difficult than others. I don't think judging them helps anyone.

@Cacacoisfarraige

You sound like me. I was reading about adhd for my ds and hand had a woooh moment when I applied to all to me. Bright kid so covered most of it up. As an adult rely on lists to function like an adult.

@MyOpinionIsValid As an ex teacher- it's not about judging. Or having a perfect home life. Kids coming late misses a part of the lesson, imagine coming 1/3rd in, missing crucial intro and instructions, and then the teache rhaving to interrupt everything and reexplain all over again. I used to live in a big city with some kids traveling up to 1,5 hours on the bus because of local schools being oversubscribed. Parents need to be better organised for the sake of their children. Leaving home 10 minutes earlier is doable in most circumstances. Taking a kid in late once or twice can happen, being late every day, not so much.

@Cacacoisfarraige You are clearly lucky enough to work in a profession/workplace which is flexible in terms of time. None of mine were. Every single place I worked at, there was a need to start on time. My first job I worked in for ages had a very precise opening time, and you had to be there on time to get everything prepped and ready. Having people strolling in casually late meant everyone else was under huge pressure and in deep sh!t if more than one person has not turned up. We always had at least one 'tourist' who always had a great excuse why they never turned up on time and everyone else had to cover for them. When I was a teacher, I could not pop in to my first lesson 30 minutes late and tell the head I would stay after school to make up for the missed time (which I was doing anyways, working for hours after the final bell). Some jobs just require punctuality and this is what we try to teach kids too- good habits, even if they may not need them in their future professions.

Cacacoisfarraige

what does flexitime have anything to do with anything?

Being late is not being in the office when you are required to be - even on flexitime you don't turn up late for meetings.

If it's fine to turn up anytime time before 11am and you arrive at 10:30, then you are not late even if the office opens at 8am. How hard can it be to understand

Schools don't have flexitime, the teachers can't turn up when they feel like it and stay later to make up for it. Neither can the kids.

My children make me late.. losing shoes , needing the toilet being lazy forgetting lunch bags....
I try and try and yet always late....
one day I thought @£@ it.. I’m not rushing and they were really late .. my nagging and yelling does make us not so late but late.. we have a three minute drive to school . But have to get parked and walk up a hill... and yes I pretty much see all the same parents...
We have been at the school two years now and I’m still meeting new parents I haven’t met or seen before....

When train or tube drivers don't turn up on time, it's definitively not OK.
When your hairdresser or your childminder is 45 mn lat, it's not ok either.

I have spent the last 6 or 7 years running in at the last second with my younger kids.

The reason? My eldest is autistic, has terrible sleep patterns, no sense of time, and no sense of urgency. Getting him up and out has always been harder than the other kids put together. That is with me putting out his clothes and deodorant, passing him each item in turn, putting his breakfast ready, packing his school bag and bringing him his shoes! If I didn't do those things, we'd never get out

Ds1 has been on a different (later) schedule for the past few months so I don't have to get him up, and suddenly my younger kids are waiting around in the morning and we are arriving before the gates open. It has made a huge difference.

The only parents I judge are the ones who just laugh off being late "You know me always late"
Others no. Shit happens people are sometimes late.

I've been that parent. I was a single parent to my DD who has ADHD and ASD (undiagnosed at the time). I also have ADHD and ASD and struggle a lot with organisation and time keeping. I could never find anything in the morning. Alongside that I also had insomnia and would often be falling asleep a few hours before we needed to be up so I'd just sleep through the several alarms. My DD also has sleep issues and would never wake up naturally before 10 so getting us both up single handedly was the worse time of my life School walk was 30 minutes. It was so horrendously stressful in the mornings and my DD would refuse to get dressed and run off and hide all the time. It was always me and the same other few families, we would make jokey comments to each other but I can assure you I was mortified and felt shit about it.

I can 100% say my DD didn't give a toss about being late. Not all kids would feel unsettled and anxious. Since melatonin cured our sleep issues we are no longer late, even though I have two more SEN children now who need a lot of support in the mornings and a longer school run.

Cacacoisfarraige

you cannot comprehend that not everybody is a CEO and that some people need to start at a certain time? Even a CEO tends to turn up on time at meetings btw.

How do you feel if your kids teacher turn up anytime between 8 and 10am and you have to wait for them to open the class?